Jessica's Soapbox

I'm a jerk.

2012-02-05T23:12:00.001-05:00

"Me: ok, well, just so you know

I was planning to blog tonight

BUT

I just realized I have a twelve page paper due Tues

that I haven't started

Erika: hahaha

Me: so I'm kinda freaking out

plus I have an exam Wed

Erika: haha

Me: and a book chapter summary

and AHHHH

Erika: hahaha

Clay will be happy, though

Me: why?

23:09 Erika: he's off the hook

Me: oh

dang it

well, was there a time limit on that deal?

Erika: yep

51 minutes from now

Me: like if I blog next week, will that not count?

Erika: you could just copy paste this chat and post it as an explanation...

23:10 I mean, the part of the chat that applies...

Me: YES!

wait, will that mean he has to blog?

Erika: technically

Yo: because we didn't say WHAT I'd blog...

Erika: Exactly

Yo: hahaha

I like how you think"
Hunter, it's on....muahahaha.

Update

2012-01-25T13:21:00.004-05:00

Edit: haha, just to eliminate any confusion, I didn't actually write this post (apparently Erika and Hosanna did) and a good portion of it is hilariously untrue. I really hope that's evident though.... :P I'll hopefully post something from the real me eventually, with *pictures*!

Hey guys!! Whoa, it's been a looong time since I've posted! Christmas break was great, and I'm back at college for the second semester of my junior year.

Break flew by way too fast. I missed my family SOOO much (especially Erika and Hosanna...they're my favorites. I mean, I missed everyone, sorta, I guess, but especially them), so it was great to see them all again. Our hamster Pip died while I was at college, and I missed her so much...she was so sweet and cuddly. So I was absolutely thrilled when Leo joined our family at Christmas! He's a dwarf hamster who reminded me so much of a special friend that I was missing from college (you know who you are, dear <3). I loved cuddling with Leo, and I even took him to Awana to help with the Sparks counsel time...he did an admirable job, as I knew he would.

My friend Arielle got married, and it was exciting being in her wedding as the maid of honor. I mentioned the bridal shower last post...that was sweet, and the wedding was also very sweet. I only made it through the ceremony by looking at Hosanna's grinning and angelic face in the audience, sending me support and encouragement as I tried not to a) breathe, or b) fall over.

This picture is from the reception, when Aaron and I were giving the toast. You can hardly tell how late we were up the night before sitting in that bar...heh.

My 21st birthday also fell during Christmas break. I can't really remember much after that.

The first week or so of college was kinda intense...splitting headache the whole time, but I'm doing better now. So yeah...college is going fine. Oh, gotta run...dining hall is closing soon, and I promised I would sit next to-- never mind. See ya!

Oh...um, hi.

2011-11-27T09:30:00.000-05:00

As always, I was trying to evade typing into this empty white box, but I promised myself that I'd write something here over Thanksgiving break (after all, break is supposed to be when you're, you know, NOT busy and such...).

So, here I am, flopped on my own bed at home, trying to sum up everything that's happened since October 26th. I have to say, it's actually pretty impressive how recently I've blogged.

Basically, this college student's life has been predictable: homework, class, work, repeat. I won't bore you with the particulars, but if you're ever wondering what I'm doing, chances are it's one of those three. Ohh, also sleep. I do sleep. Really. Sometimes in bizarre places like the laundry room, as previously mentioned, or at weird times (seriously, who falls asleep in the lounge at EIGHT PM?? heh...).

Actually, that reminds me. Sleepwalking...I thought I had outgrown it because I managed to sleep like normal people the whole time I was in Mexico. But nooo....I think it's something about the stress of deadlines. Anyhow, twice this semester I've sleepwalked. Once I managed to shower and get partly ready for class before realizing that it was like, 2 in the morning. Good thing my roommates are sound sleepers.

And then a week ago, I actually managed to call the PHC security desk...and then awkwardly hung up on them...while sleepwalking. See, I was working on homework down in the D3 lounge and fell asleep around 2. I became vaguely aware around 3 that I should be sleeping in my bed, so I stumbled up the stairs to my room. As I was opening my wing door, I woke up rather abruptly to the sound of a guy voice...coming from my phone, "hello? hello? security!" and I stood there, blinking at my phone screen: "Call with PHC Security: 0:13...0:14...0:15..." Knowing that I am incapable of forming coherent sentences when I'm barely awake, I hung up. And then I was embarrassed and went to bed, feeling like a little kid who had called and hung up on 911 or something.

Haha, right now I'm sitting here wondering why I transcribe my most ridiculous moments on a public blog. :P

Anyhow...I should probably wrap this up. The suitcase I dragged home with me is only partially packed and it needs some serious attention before we start the trek back to college in about three hours.

So, quick summaries of college and break...

-Emily G. and I have learned that it is possible to listen to the same song on repeat for literally hours on end while writing papers.

-Fall break was...intense but so good. I was in Sterling, VA (not that far from college), helping lead a Generation Joshua Student Action Team. We had a great team (AND THE HOTEL HAD A HOT TUB) and I felt like I was in my element...campaigning. <3

-Even getting up at 3 AM to put up signs (and staying up all day) on Election Day was so worth it.

-College is a growing experience, in more ways than one. Apparently I grew a half an inch this semester (YESS! I always wanted to be 5' 6"...that dining hall food must be good for something... ;))

As for break, it's been SO good to be home. Coming back is always surreal but awesome. This time I hadn't been as far away or gone as long as the trip to Mexico, but I definitely still missed my family and friends.

Home has included:

-a starbucks eggnog latte, shopping, and so much catching-up with Jenn. :)

-laughter

-good conversations

-sploshing through puddles with the little kids

-being treated like a celebrity in my own home, haha.

-singing with siblings at the Thanksgiving eve church service.

-two Thanksgiving dinners

-an abundance of cranberry sauce

-making a lemon meringue pie with Katrina.

-listening to Annetta, Lydia, and Hosanna's piano recital pieces that are being frantically practiced.

-testing my mom's new coffee experiment (pretty amazing, btw).

-going out to lunch with Annetta and Rachel and feeling way too grown-up (since when can we do this stuff by ourselves?! haha)

-"hosting" a bridal shower. Hosting is in quotes because although I'm the maid of honor and technically threw the shower, Erika, Annetta, and Elizabeth did all the preparation work while I was at school. (I love them.) They briefed me when I got back so that I'd have some clue about what was going on. :P

-cleaning the bathtub and washing dishes...is it weird that I missed that?!

-sleeping (yeah, I think I'm caught up now...).

-being an in-person big sister again and calling Katrina by her old nickname ("I like it when you call me punk." aww...she remembered!)

That pretty much covers break...as for looking forward: 16 days until the semester is OVER and my family comes down to get me. SO looking forward to Christmas break and Arielle and Matt's wedding!

Knowing me, I probably won't be blogging again until I'm home for Christmas. So STOP REFRESHING THIS BLOG. A new post will not appear, I promise. ;)

My life as a semi-stressed, caffeinated, sleep-deprived, ON CAMPUS student. :D

2011-10-26T00:16:00.000-04:00

Guess what, everyone? I'm in college!!!!111!!1!1 [insert obnoxious emoticons here]

There, consider yourself updated.

...

...

Honestly, if I posted that, I think I would be legitimately concerned about lynching. Or something.

But I'm really not sure where to start. Obviously, I haven't blogged since I left for college. Which means that a lot has happened, although at least not a whole semester has gone by. But basically, I moved in, was orientified, spent a stressful first week trying to drop and add classes and figure out my schedule, started my job here, studied like mad, met lots of cool people, studied like mad, went to two dances, studied like mad, took exams, experienced the phenomenon known as homecoming, studied like mad, wrote papers, and made it through midterms. And also, studied like mad.

So that's the Reader's Digest edition.

Sadly, it's just not possible to exhaustively cover every week and every experience I've had. Which means I'm gonna resort to the shortcut that I seem to always fall back on: bullet points of the highlights.

What I've learned so far:
-It is possible to act civil and even talk coherently on 1 1/2 hours of sleep.
-I've broken my record for staying up late studying...5:30 AM is the new record. Heh.
-Study groups are awesome.
-Coffee is also fantastic. (Even if it doesn't actually keep me awake, it's good for the studying atmosphere, you know?)
-Seniors and their wisdom are invaluable. Especially their study guides and exam advice.
-I can drive a golf cart without killing anyone.
-I have learned how to mop with sooo little water and to tie beautiful looking trash bags. Don't ask...
-The radio that I use for work makes me feel important, even if I never use it...
-I've only lost my key card once...and then found it in a classroom. :)
-I haven't failed anything. Yet.
-Capture the flag in the dark is way cool.
-It's weird how exciting a kitchen and the potential for making REAL food is after so much dining hall food.
-Swing dancing is epic.
-High heels should be more comfortable.
-It's hard to remember to turn off my phone in class. The only time it's gone off though was Christian Study Group...during prayer...while I was praying. Kind of distracting...
-Study sessions right before midterms are the best. And whiteboarding (filling white boards with info for exams) is super helpful. You should see my Public Admin drawings... :P
-I literally fell asleep in the laundry room the other night. Totally disturbed my roommate who found me in there and thought there was something seriously wrong with me...
-It rains a lot here. Aaaand guess who didn't bring an umbrella?
-Also, the fall leaves are not nearly as bright as NY. Not that I'm complaining about the weather...it's been SO warm and sunshiny!
-I've only slept past the beginning of my 7:15 work shift once...and I managed to be clocked in within six minutes of the wake-up phone call. :P
-I got to go campaigning!!!! (I missed it tremendously.)
-My major (American Politics and Policy track of the government major) is officially declared, and I'm registered for spring classes!!
-Market Street coffee shop is a happy place. And it's within walking distance. And I neeeeever get lost walking back to campus from there. Oh no.
-It's totally possible to do three midterms and two work shifts within twenty-four hours. God is good.
-Homecoming is fun. I dyed my hair black and dressed like a hipster...(temporary dye, btw). :P
-It's nice to have real-life professors. And I definitely go to their offices and bug them.

Aaanyhow, I'm going to leave it at that for now. Hopefully I'll do a post with pictures sometime this semester. :)

A summer of twos...

2011-08-13T08:55:00.002-04:00

[Twos is a funny-looking word. It looks spelled wrong...but it's not! Moving on.]

Basically, I need to blog. I promised I'd write about my summer, but I think I should also do an update on my life coming up...the next chapter that I've been so eagerly anticipating for...about four years. Wow.

So, first the wrap-up of summer/day in my life...

I feel like my summer has been divided into two parts.

I've had...

...two jobs

...two time clocks (I enjoy clocking out. Muchly.)

...two work schedules to balance (I like how both of these schedules have "last day" written for me. YAY!)

...two bosses (heh, I don't take pictures of them.)

...two sets of co-workers (I get to work with Erika at Comfort! Which is nice because she packs lunch. And as for the other picture...let's just say I like feeling tall and NO I was not standing on a chair or anything!)

...two work uniforms (I know, I know...I look creepy in both of these. All black is really not me, and the mirror picture is such a fail. STOP LAUGHING.)

...two sets of work policies to keep straight...

...and two paychecks (Fridays are doubly good!).

It's been rather exhausting, actually. But I don't want to complain! I definitely realize how blessed I've been to have two jobs in an economy where many people can't even find one. Even though the two work schedules have conflicted occasionally (I can only work one at a time!!!), it's been pretty perfect as far as money-making goes.

Lat Friday was the day that I chose for the "day in my life," so I will proceed to tell you all how that day went down...

Because Erika had to do breakfast at the hotel, we got up a little earlier than normal because she had to clock in by 8:00.

I think we were up by 7:00, showered, ate breakfast, packed lunch, and out the door by 7:30 or so.

I drove so that Erika could finish eating her breakfast...

Erika headed into work at 8:00 and I had an hour to kill before I was allowed to clock in to start cleaning rooms.

So, I did my makeup...
wrote a letter...

and read my Bible.
At 9:00, I headed into work (normally housekeepers can't clock in until 9:30, but they made an exception for me because I have to be there early with Erika anyhow).

I got my housekeeping list...

12 rooms to clean....pretty average. And the most awesome thing in the world is finding a Do not disturb sign on the door, meaning that I can cross the room right off the list!
Basically, each room has to be stripped (the sheets, pillowcases, towels, and trash taken out) and the laundry taken downstairs to the laundry room. Then the beds are made, the bathroom cleaned, the room stocked with everything it needs, everything dusted, the floor vacuumed....and voila, a clean room. Not the most exciting job...but hey, a pay check's a paycheck!

After my rooms were done, I helped Erika with hers (usually it works the other way around because she's faster), and then we clocked out and headed home around 3:15.

We got home around 3:30, giving me an entire hour to eat, change into my other uniform, and head out to the restaurant.

As it turns out, that night (of course) was completely different than any normal night, so telling you what I did wouldn't give a very good picture of the average night at the restaurant. (I had to take care of a family reunion that was being held there of about 30-35 people, so I kept about 8 running tabs for the different families represented, bringing them everything they needed. It was so. much. running! And kind of difficult because it was my boss's family and...yeah.)

So, on a normal night, I'll have anywhere between 2 and 9 tables (two being a REALLY slow night and nine being an awesome night in which I fly around non-stop).

On Thursday through Sunday, we have a hostess who takes care of seating people in each of our sections. When she seats someone in my section, she writes out a ticket with my name, comes and finds me and gives it to me. The ticket tells me how many people are at the table and where they are...

Next, I go to the table, welcome them, introduce myself, tell them the specials, and take drink orders. Pretty standard. Generally after I take their drinks to them, I'll take down their meal order and turn it into the kitchen. Most meals come with salads, which the servers have to make themselves (that can get interesting when I have a table of twelve and have to make...twelve salads while everyone else is in the tiny salad space, trying to make theirs!) Also, each table automatically gets bread and butter, so I generally carry out the salads with the bread.

When their food is ready, the kitchen calls me ("JESS, YOU'RE UP!!") and I run the food out. After that I basically babysit the table...bring more drinks...bring dessert...bring the check...bring whatever...

And sometimes I have really cool tables like this one. :)

I kind of love this picture.
and then when they finally leave, it's the fun part: collecting money from the table, haha.
Nearly everyone tips with one dollar bills, which is why I end up having to torture the bank tellers by depositing literally hundreds of singles. They tell me they don't mind...

So there you have it: Waitressing 101. :P

To sum up...a day in my life this summer was roughly twelve hours of work. But it wasn't horrible...I actually enjoyed some aspects of both jobs and I had great coworkers, which always helps.

But now...it's all over! As I write this, it's Saturday morning and last night I clocked out at the restaurant for the last time (my last day at the hotel was Wednesday). Not gonna lie, it's a good feeling.

And now I have today to finish packing because we leave early tomorrow morning for Washington DC for a two-day family vacation, and then I'm getting dropped off in Virginia at PHC. So excited about that!!!

I feel like I should also mention that my summer wasn't ENTIRELY filled up with work...I did have days off to do fun stuff like sleeping--oh, I mean, see friends and such. Don't believe me? Here's a link to my summer facebook album which captures some of the fun stuff that happened this summer, including driving to Ohio with Erika to see the kids from the family I stayed with in Mexico. We totally surprised them. :)

Also, since I kind of left everyone hanging as far as the Spanish tests that I was so terrified of, I should probably mention that I passed them both at intermediate high, meaning that I'm totally done with PHC's language requirement. :) I'm so thankful.

God is way too good to me.

Thanks for reading; I'll try to keep you all posted about my college life!

PS: This makes me laugh.

Thoughts on worth...fueled by vanilla chai... ;)

2011-07-20T13:22:00.001-04:00

So, it's Tuesday morning at 8:07 and I'm sitting in Dunkin Donuts on my laptop, soaking up the wi-fi and enjoying a hot vanilla chai with a bacon and cheese bagel. Highly healthy. (Oh, and yes, I had to break my no-buying-coffee-all-summer vow. In case anyone I told about that is reading this and raising a skeptical eyebrow at the vanilla chai mention....)

See, Erika is doing breakfast and laundry this morning over at the hotel (across the road from here), meaning she started work at 8. But since I'm housekeeping, I'm not allowed to clock in until 9:30. But we drove together, meaning that I have about an hour and a half to kill before I can head across the road and start work.

So I'm here, blogging.

This isn't actually going to be the "day in my life" post that I asked you all about in the last post. I haven't taken the pictures for it yet, but it still is forthcoming! Promise.

And this isn't actually going to be the newsy, updateish post either.

Instead, I'd like to talk about something that's been on my heart lately and just needs to get written. I haven't used this blog to rant or express my opinion much lately. I haven't even posted my numerous papers! It's more become a blog about my life. Which might be a good thing, because I think the old blog persona was a little dry. And just...blargh.

But today is different.

I need to talk about something.

Actually, I hesitated about writing this because it's a rather uncomfortable subject. But this is the life we all live...real. unedited. raw. So I'm going for it.

First: what got me thinking.

About a week ago, a conversation at my second job--the restaurant--really made me think. I was back in the kitchen, making salads for one of my tables, when one of the kitchen workers started talking about the cost of, well, hiring a couple girls for a night. (I'd use more direct wording but I want to avoid getting weird google searchers, if ya know what I mean....).

He turned to me and asked if I thought two thousand dollars was too much. Trying to stay out of the conversation, I just replied that I wouldn't know. So he turned to another guy and asked, "Is any woman worth two thousand dollars?"

As I carried out the salads, I was mulling over his question in a broader sense. Not just for a night, but in general...is any woman worth two thousand dollars?

And instantly I knew. YES.

And then I was frustrated, because it bothered me a lot to think of a woman as simply a body with a price tag over her head. I started thinking about Proverbs 31 and how the virtuous woman is far above rubies...priceless, really. And how the woman whose value can't be quantified in dollar amount is the one who wouldn't sell herself for any price.

So I started thinking that I should write about the crazily messed up mindset that prevails today.

[Aaand this is where the Dunkin Donuts wi-fi and blogger's autosave feature absolutely failed me and I lost the entire rest of this post as I tried to publish it this morning right before heading into work. Soo, I'm typing it again...my thoughts make more sense the second time through anyways. I hope. :P]

See, lately, I've been feeling kind of objectified. It's hard to explain, but through recent comments, glances, and even inappropriate physical touch [don't freak out, people! I'm fine], I have been experiencing what it's like to be viewed as not much more than a body. As if my measure of worth comes from my degree of conformity to the world's standards of physical perfection and by the number of partners I could land.

And it bugs me.

Especially because I am surrounded by the tragic results of such a mentality. I work with so. many. single. mothers. One girl I trained told me her story...when she got pregnant, her boyfriend told her that if she didn't get an abortion, he would leave her. Now she's a single mother working three jobs to support herself and her (adorable) 3 1/2 year old daughter. She and so many other single moms my age and younger have a long, difficult life ahead of them, balancing work with being home to actually raise their kids. I'm not saying that these girls aren't at all to blame for the mess they're in...they are. But I feel like the girls are partially victims, especially when they are left to deal with the consequences and the guys shrug off their responsibilities. That happens waaay too often.

It's also ridiculous how it's pretty much assumed that girls even much younger than me are sexually active. Virginity is rare at my age, and there is that constant, not-so-subtle hinting that it's necessary to live a fulfilling life NOW.

I've pretty much always known about that mentality. But head knowledge and real life experience are completely different.

So, I want to give some words of encouragement to the girls. Maybe none of you feel this pressure...maybe I just need to write this for myself. Either way, I just want to say...

Girls, your worth is not measured by your looks.

You are not merely an object or a price tag.

You are not defined by your body.

No, your existence is hidden in Christ.

Let His love and His glorious purpose for your life define you.

Don't cave.

It's not worth it.

Remember, you have already been bought with a price (so glorify God with your body).

You've been redeemed. You are loved with an everlasting love. A love that's endless and independent from the circumstances of your life. A love that reached out to you even before you loved Him (cf. 1 John).

He paid the ultimate sacrifice for your redemption--giving His life. And what earthly man would do that? (cf. Romans 5).

So be that priceless, far-above-rubies, passionate woman of God.

Follow after Christ, not the approval of the world.

Anyhow, that's the encouragement I have.

And for any guys who might have made it this far: kudos. I just want to say that I am blessed to know so many of you who treat girls in a pure, unselfish way. And it is SO very appreciated. Keep it up!

And that's that. Now we return to our scheduled programming....sometime. ;)

Just wondering...

2011-07-13T09:00:00.002-04:00

...would anyone be interested in a more updated day in my life post? Like, pictures and stuff about my jobs and what it's like to be a housekeeper and a waitress?

Because my life isn't excessively interesting right now...work is pretty blahh...(and this post would be a far cry from the day in Mexico one!) but I'm willing to write it if anyone would read it.

Comment away!

After Mexico...

2011-05-24T19:39:00.009-04:00

Ok, ok...Yes, I do realize that I have been home for *cough* a little while now. Roughly 17 days, actually. But the title still stands because I need to write a wrap-up post from Mexico and make a weak attempt at catching this blog (and presumably, its readers) up to speed on what's going on now as well as future plans. That sort of thing.

Also, while I'm still thinking of it...this blog totally needed a makeover. Hence the background and picture change and such. Feel free to tell me what you think, but I think by now you all know how well I follow the suggestions so helpfully offered in the comments. So if you write "YOU LOOK LIKE A TOTAL MORON IN THAT PICTURE JESS!!!" (not that anyone would, but it needed to be said...haha), you will be sadly disappointed by my response...or lack thereof. Because I have a feeling that picture and this template will be there for at least a year. I'm terrible at updating! The last, bright green one was up since like, April of last year...and I said it was supposed to reflect my excitement about spring. Ha. Aaaand then it was there through all the seasons, clashing horribly with winter. So this time it's (hopefully) a more generic background so that it won't pain me to look at it through Thanksgiving and Christmas and such.

Speaking of failing miserably to take the suggestions of commenters, I was informed some time ago that I needed to write "a very long summary post."

Right.

How do I summarize Mexico?? It defies a neat categorization or definition.

*sigh*

I guess that's where the "long post" part comes in.

Well. Mexico was wonderful. I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity and I would go again in a heartbeat if there was a need and I felt God was leading me. I loved the people, the break from the routine of life here in New York, the challenge of trying to communicate in a different language, the changed perspective that my surroundings gave to my government and literature studies, the feeling of having two families, and the chance to see what daily life is like with a missionary family.

I had extremely mixed feelings when it was time to pack my things up and fly home. I never experienced homesickness (although I always figured I would), but at the end of the four months, I was ready to go home and see my family. But at the same, I really didn't want to leave Mexico behind.

I hate saying goodbye...the uncertainty of whether I will ever see someone again here on earth...the feeling of finality... Yet it makes me thankful that there will be a day when we won't have to say goodbye ever again!

Moving on...here are the last of my Mexico pictures for the poor facebookless souls...you all know who you are. ;)

As for life after hopping off the plane...I think I can provide a pretty quick overview of that.

All but three of my family members were waiting at the airport for me...pretty sweet. :) The other three woke up to see me when we got home. I had told Josh that I bought him a turtle in a market and he was stoked about it. So, when he woke up and saw me, his only word was "turtle." Yeah, I see how I rate. :P

(I am in this picture...although it's hard to see.)

It was cute, Katrina told me (after despairing that I'd EVER return..."You ALWAYS that you're coming home soon!!") that she would do a tap dance for me when I got back...and she did:

When I first got back, I had to unpack, re-organize my room, study for and take two finals, write one final paper, have a sleep-over to say goodbye to a dear friend who was leaving for the summer just a couple days after my return....

make a presentation at the mother-daughter banquet...

(Actually, the church was just starting to fill up in this picture...by the time I actually spoke, there were about 120 people. Have I mentioned that I am not a fan of public speaking?!)

...wear strange-looking sombreros with my sisters at aforementioned banquet...

...and finish a bunch of other random things...all in the course of six days.

It was slightly insane, but I have lived to tell of it...

Life has slowed down considerably since then, fortunately. :)

Yesterday I took the Exam of Horrors: the oral Spanish ACTFL test. I really don't know how I did, but it wasn't as difficult as I had been expecting.

I was terrified of it though, and had been for the last year at least, since the first time I realized I would have to take a foreign language proficiency test in order to avoid Latin, Greek, or Russian (the 3 foreign languages PHC offers). If I had been any more petrified I would have fossilized. Really.

I mean, I'd been studying Spanish seriously for less than a year (the little bit I took in high school hardly counts because I was only trying to finish it, not learn it, and I forgot it all almost immediately) and here I was supposed to talk to a complete stranger...on the phone...in a foreign language...for a half an hour...about any topic she chose. AHHHH!!!

But, as always, God was faithful and I didn't die!

After getting home from the test (I took it on a local campus because I had to find a professor there to be my proctor), I went for a walk with Joanna, trying to come to grips with the idea that I was done. DONE! Free from studying for almost 13 weeks!!

It obviously wasn't sinking in very well, because I kept talking to Joanna about college- and exam-related stuff. Finally, after I said something about wanting to know my grades, she turned around and said severely,

"You are ten years old and there is no such thing as college!!"

That settled it, of course, and we ran around in the fields...

...picked flowers, talked about her bird-feeder plans, and took pictures.

(yeah, failed picture, but I find it amusing.)

Summer break is AWESOME!

Aaaand no post of mine would be complete without a random list of...things. So without further ado...

Weird but amusing things about being home:

-My parents and siblings freaking out about letting me drive again. They honestly thought I had forgotten how and would wreck the van. (FYI...it came right back to me!)

-I've been basically a celebrity in my own home. I should go away more often...jk, jk.

-I hate pillows. This is because I have discovered that I am incredibly bad at stuffing pillows into pillowcases...and I have to do it over and over at work. I need to work on getting faster...

-I am once again unable to see the tops of most guys' heads! ;) It's nice to wear heels and not feel too tall...

-I feel that I am living life on the edge simply because I drink water from the faucet.

-I can understand the conversations of random people in stores! (yay, eavesdropping.) I missed that...and the ability to talk to just about anybody. So I made up for it by striking up conversations with people in the airport.

-I am no longer an albino in comparison to everyone else! In fact, my sisters were jealous of my tan when I got back. :P

-I've got my pandora back!

-I'm loving being back with these people...

(Katrina)

(Erika--This picture amuses me greatly.)

(Joanna in a tree)

(I think they love me...even if they welcomed me home by dumping water on my head. :P Actually, we were just pretending, in case that's not obvious...)

(Lydia)

(Erika, Elizabeth, Annetta, me, and Jennifer...the day after I got home.)

(Jennifer, Annetta, Rachel, and me, catching up on life...)

-I love spring. And lilacs. And the cool thing is that I basically had two springs this year!

Finally, as for my summer plans? Basically, work. Right now I technically have two jobs, although one of them doesn't start until this Friday. In the evenings, I'll be working as a server (waitress) just like last summer, and in the mornings/early afternoons I've been working as a housekeeper at Comfort Inn. Yep, where Erika works, as documented here. The nice thing about starting work where my sister works is that everyone already knows all about me. ("Hi Jess, nice to meet you...how was Mexico?" Me: "Is she a mind reader?!") And the bad thing about starting work where my sister works is that everyone already knows all about me, haha.

The nice thing is that I'm not taking any classes this summer, so I can just work as much as possible in order to earn the necessary money to go on campus in the fall.

Anyhow, I think that about covers everything! I hope to check in here once more before I head to campus in August...

creativity fail

2011-04-19T13:30:00.008-04:00

[Yeah, once again, I CAN'T THINK OF A TITLE! This post covers like a month of happenings...and there's just no way to sum it up in a blog post title.]

All right.

It's most definitely time for another update. I've been adding things to this post for probably weeks, but you guys will never see it if I don't publish it!

Since I'm kind of in a rush to get this--along with a literature post--finished in about a half an hour, it's going to be rather random.

So, these are all little random occurrences and thoughts that I've had that might be semi-amusing or interesting, in no particular order:

-T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland" and roughly four hours of sleep don't mix well. Although today I'm much more cognizant, I think... That's not to say that Eliot wasn't brilliant, but I think I could write something that randomly abstract on four hours of sleep. :P But seriously, try analyzing it while falling asleep! It was pathetic.

- While we're on the topic of lack of sleep...I have decided that I should talk less when I'm extra-tired. Unfortunately, I tend to talk more...which is why I informed Rachel that I can "cook by ear" and that she should put the dishes in the dryer. (Yeah, I'm confused too.)

- My self-esteem has taken a nose dive after trying on clothes in Walmart in downtown Mexico City a couple weeks ago. The Mexican sizing scale is most depressing... Yeah, extra grande was too small. AHH!!!

- The Spanish adventures continue...let's just hope I'm learning from my mistakes!

- Funny story: I was at the playground with the kids and a little girl came up to me and asked a random question that I totally didn't understand. After I asked her to repeat it and still didn't get it, I told her I didn't know, and she walked away looking as perplexed as I felt. I'm not really sure why I didn't understand, because I later found out, thanks to Carissa, that she'd only asked where I was from. And then I died laughing, because she must have thought I was such a moron for not knowing where I was from!

- Word to the wise: it's easy to confuse horse and hair in Spanish. Well, for me...I'm just special like that. And going up to someone and telling them you like their horse is both confusing and embarrassing. (I'm pretty sure her thought process was something like "Huh?! I don't even HAVE a horse...") I don't intend to repeat that...

- Oh, I have fulfilled a life-long dream. I have always wanted to feel a buzz cut...but my brother's hair has never been cut like that and I've resisted the temptation to go up to a random stranger and ask to feel the top of his head. ("Excuse me sir, your hair looks fuzzy...can I feel it? No, I'm actually a very normal person. No, really! I'm not weird at all! Wait, where are you going??") But, thanks to Matt, I have now officially felt a buzz cut. He's charging now (like 10 pesos per touch), so I had to stop. :P

- I feel very loved.

- On Saturday, I was the stereotypical American tourist, complete with camera, dazed look, excessive pointing, ~~horrendous~~ fantastic Spanish, and souvenir shopping. I feel that I totally lived the part, haha.

-I've started a new facebook photo album--including pictures of our trip to Chapultepec with Jason and Danielle--which you can see here, even if you don't have facebook. (I completely filled the previous album.)

-It's not very comforting to get into a taxi and see the word "borracho" written across the rear-view mirror. Great, not only can he barely see through his mirror, but he's possibly inebriated on top of that?! :P

-When we went to the zoo in Chapultepec, the security guy at the gate was so excited to be able to practice his English on us. Keep in mind that we got there at about 4:30 PM, about a half an hour before closing. He said, very enthusiastically, "Good morning!! Good morning!! Open! Pass! Goodbye!" It was cute (and I was trying not to laugh...and failing).

Moving on...

A while back, I promised to blog a Sunday. About a month ago, I took a bunch of videos and pictures at church but never got them blogged.

So, here's what a Sunday is like (although we don't have the matrimonios class every week, but most Sundays we have people over after church):

On the way to church... (Carissa, me, Rachel, and Vane)

This picture is a failed attempt to show how cram-packed the van can be on the way to and from church. Most Sundays we have people sitting on laps and sitting in the far back...up to around 22 people in the van. It's...cozy. :P

Walking into church...

Mr. LaBelle, who plays piano for the Sunday morning services.

Cara, before the service started...

Sunday school...we're studying how we can know that the Bible is really the Word of God.

Not pictured: during the last 15 minutes or so of Sunday School, Rachel and I head over and teach (well, Rachel does most of it...I just try to look helpful ;)) the children's choir.

Between Sunday School and the main service we have a break to eat and talk...

This particular Sunday, the children's choir performed the song we'd been practicing for weeks, "Gracia Admirable."

So, this is Rachel L., waiting in the nursery before they headed out to sing their song.

The children's choir singing "Gracia Admirable."

This video is during the main church service...we're singing "Su Manto Por El Mio."

Mike preaching about truth and lying (girding our loins with the truth, from Ephesians 6).

(Heh, don't mind the siren...welcome to Mexico City? :P)

After church, everyone headed to the Goldfuss house to eat lunch (here, the ladies are making the pambazos).

It rained...

Making the pambazos... (Sarai, Vane, and Marcos)

Adriel, waiting for the food....

Marcos and Ruth...
Fail...I can't remember their names... :(

Eating lunch (Vane, Carissa, me, and Rachel). Haha, I'm in the midst of lecturing Mikey about something. :P

The matrimonios class...basically a class for the couples of the church. We're studying the book Cuando Pecadores Dicen Acepto (When Sinners Say I Do).

Memo, teaching the class...can you tell why I have a really hard time understanding him? It's almost dizzying trying to keep up with him!

Anyways, that's basically what a Sunday here is like...catch you all later!

"My love is like a blueberry..."

2011-03-16T00:26:00.001-04:00

Take note: this post has a title!

Oh. You're not impressed? Well, it's just that it almost didn't. Because once again, I was suffering from acute title writer's block. It's as serious as it sounds.

See, this is going to be another random, stream-of-consciousness type of post. Basically, it has no subject (maybe I should post a warning: "Welcome to my brain. Prepare to be confused. Even more confused than I normally am. No comments from the peanut gallery on that one. :P Also, abandon all hope, ye who enter...").

Randomness defies titling, hence the title writer's block and the resort to a weird quote...which I'll explain later, if I remember.

So yes. This post is just going to hop from topic to topic, because that is how my brain works. Except on exams and papers, when I can't say things like, "Because Madison defined tyranny as the accumulation of all power in one person or body, tyranny would be prevented by keeping the powers separated. Do you like blueberries? Well, I do. Anyhow, that's why Madison proposed institutionalizing a mechanism that would take advantage of each branch's desire for the acquisition of more power, using ambition to counter ambition in order to blah blah blah..." Never mind. I don't think that would quite cut it with my professors.

Also, can you tell I just finished a Freedom's Foundations midterm? I have decided that I will never have enough time to write everything I plan to say on those exams. Study guides with potential exam questions are great, but I end up planning out so much to say and there's just not enough time to type it all out in 75 minutes!

However, the exam was improved greatly by...atole, which I managed to gulp down in between essays. And yes, I just linked to wikipedia. I feel like a terrible college student.

Atole is basically like intense hot chocolate...it was perfect today, because it's been FREEZING! In fact, we're planning to head to a nearby mountain tomorrow morning to play in the snow that apparently fell there today. And yes, I am highly amused at the idea of driving toward snow ON PURPOSE.

Speaking of snow, this brings me to:

You know you're in Mexico when....

...it snows and everyone's facebook status involves the word "nieve" together with exclamation points of...excitement?!

...you bump into someone and have to turn around to see who it was so that you know which language to apologize in.

...your sisters talk about sledding and you wonder how they're able to sled in 70 degree weather...oh wait.

...your sidebar ads are usually in Spanish (and news websites automatically take you to their .mx page).

...everyone is complaining about losing an hour of sleep and you can't commiserate (actually, DST starts here on April 3rd. But I will gloat while I can.)

All right, I'll explain the title. It's actually something I said...man, I'm quoting myself. How self-centered is that?! (That was a rhetorical question...i.e., don't answer. ;)) Basically, I heard this Spanish song at gymnastics. In my failed attempt to sing it, I confused the phrase "mar azul," meaning blue sea with "morazul" or blueberry. Which is why I was singing that my love was like a blueberry. (And googling the lyrics just now, I realized I botched the song even more than I originally thought. Great. I'm just a natural at language learning, obviously.)

For this easily baffled person, some Spanish words are just waaay too similar. For example, cabeza and calabaza (cabeza = head and calabaza = pumpkin/squash). Ok, fine...they're really not that similar. But in a rare moment of idiocy, I mixed them up. Y'know that verse in Ephesians that talks about how the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church? Yeah. Try substituting pumpkin for head and you'll know why Reme and I were laughing so hard at my translations during Spanish class...

On the bright side, there are an awful lot of cognates between Spanish and English. (Cognate = basically, a word that's reaaaally similar in both language). I LOVE COGNATES. They just might be my favorite thing right now, besides atole.

Buuut, at the same time, I also tend to assume that a bunch of words are cognates when they aren't. In technical terms: I use false cognates. In plain ol' English: I've made up a lot of words lately. Words that seriously ought to mean what I think they do, but just plain don't.

Oooh, but good news. I used listen to random Spanish music as background music while I was studying. It was great because I couldn't understand a word, which meant that I could focus really well. But this week I tried it and had to stop because I was understanding too much and it was distracting me (it was weeeeeeird music!). So that's got to be a good sign, right?

(And now, hello, Swahili music!)

Also, I had a dream where I was trying to talk in Spanish. True, I failed, but I have to applaud my attempt. Yikes, the self-centeredness increases.... :P

On a serious note now, I want to ask if you guys could keep a girl from church in prayer. Her name is Vanessa, and she's just a few years older than I am. She came over for a sleepover last week, and it's clear that she's really struggling with some things from her past and with her singleness. She lacks the support of a Christian family, which makes things tougher. Thanks for praying!

Speaking of sleepovers, Rachel and I spent the night at Jason and Danielle's house on Saturday. They're a young missionary couple here, and they took us to downtown Mexico City, to the Zocalo (like a town square...only bigger, if that makes sense). It was pretty cool!

Incidentally, the Zocalo is where I met the new boyfriend.

That's right, I'd like you to meet...

um, I don't know his name yet. Pshhh, insignificant details....

This picture was, of course, taken very covertly, meaning that I only stood there gawking and fiddling with my camera for five minutes. He never noticed, I'm sure.

Aaanyhow, I always thought the Aztecs were cool, but I'm not so sure we'd make the greatest couple. After all, I have nothing that would match the boots. So I'm going to have to give that idea up...

Maybe at some point I can write a little bit more about what it was like downtown, on the metro, and such, but my bed is calling...

Ooh, one last random thought: I'm becoming a TOTAL expert on sports these days...yesterday (here's where you spit out your gum to prevent asphyxiation) I actually filled out a bracket for March Madness. And...that's basketball. That's the extent of my knowledge, but I'm sure my predictions will come true (and don't ask what they were because I have no idea anymore, haha). Proud of me? I am. (Just kidding...here we are back to the self-centeredness stuff...)

As I sign off, I have a ridiculous request to make: if you comment (no biggie, I'll just never blog again if you don't), could you use google translate, that often hysterically wrong but still-helpful tool to leave it in Spanish? It would crack me up, especially if it's completely nonsensical.

Good night!

Un dia en mi vida...

2011-02-18T00:22:00.002-05:00

Once again, the public outcry (from a foreign country, no less...I crack myself up) has sent me over to blogger.com to attempt to write something that seems somewhat remotely update-ish.

As usual, I was feeling like I had nothing to write about, probably because I've pretty much settled into a routine here.

Which means...I am blogging the ordinary: welcome to a day in my life!

Today (Thursday) I drove everyone bonkers by taking a kazillion pictures, documenting just about everything. So, I hope this gives you guys a glimpse into what it's like here!

(Note: if you want, feel free to click on the pictures to make them bigger.)

Soo, without further ado...

6:30: The alarm goes off. I'm thrilled because it's Rachel's turn to get up first!! Haha, we really do take turns showering first, and somehow the extra 20 minutes of sleep is the best thing ever.

7:00ish: I drag myself out of bed. Honestly, I can't believe I'm doing this, but I really am posting the I-look-like-a-zombie-because-I-just-got-up-picture.

Moving on....quickly. :P

After showering, Rachel and I have our devotions and check email and such. (Aww, Erika made it into a picture, haha.)

Side note: Spanish-English Bibles are awesome. I've temporarily stolen one I found in the cabin (hmm, Bible-stealing...that sounds totally wrong!) and I love comparing back and forth. I think it makes me think more about what I'm reading, which is a good thing for sure.

At 7:30ish, we head over to the house for breakfast.
While we eat our cereal, Mike reads from 1 Samuel about David and his men attacking the Amalekites after the destruction of Ziklag. (See, I do listen! ;))
At 8:00ish, it's time for science with Cristi. Because it's BJU video school, we watch videos as well as reading the textbook...it works out well.
It's cooooold in there! (Really.)
At 9:00ish, it's time for Bible and science with Carissa. While she watches the video lesson for Bible, I work on studying some Spanish verb tenses.

In Bible, Carissa lists what she's thankful for...I was amused. :) If you can't read it, she wrote, "Teachers (not Jess) :P."

Next, she had a test in science. I quiz her on the terms she's learned in this chapter...all about levers and pulleys and acceleration and mass and velocity and all that good stuff.
And...here she is after getting an A on the test. :D
After that, it's science with Mikey. Though I help him with labs and give tests and such, there isn't a great deal to do while he watches the lesson, so I read some Kirk (for my Freedom's class).
The illustrious science teacher... He's cool because he doesn't like oatmeal. :P
Mikey almost entirely evaded the camera, but I did get this sadly blurry picture. I think posting it is my revenge for his hiding my beloved Russell Kirk book for an entire day...
Since science was finished early, I was able to finish reading the Kirk assignment for the week and then attempt to play the piano for a little while...
At around 11:30, Cristi and I went outside to the hammock to take a Bible test. It works best if I read it to her and she tells me the answers.
As you can see, I'm working on my sunburn. :)
No idea why this picture is sideways (honest, it's not sideways in the folder on my computer!), but yeah...literature (with Cristi) is next.
At 1:30, I have my Spanish lesson with Reme. She's a dear! She's got to have a lot of patience to understand me... ;)
She has me read a couple pages in our Monarch butterfly (Mariposa Monarca) book, basically to help with my pronunciation and reading comprehension.
After that, she has me translate some more from The Excellent Wife into Spanish. Because she has the book in Spanish, she follows along in her book while I (tediously...I'm sooo slow!) try to change the English sentences into Spanish, one word at a time. I write down new words as I encounter them, and it's been good because it's forcing me to teach myself the verb tenses (at night, usually) that I was never taught in class.
After my Spanish lesson, I head over to the cabin and work on an email to my Freedom's professor, proposing ideas for an upcoming paper. He's great at helping me decide which ideas would work the best. While I brainstorm possible theses, I chat with Joanna. She's funny. :)
Probably around 2:45, we have lunch. Yeah, that's normal...and yeah, it took awhile to get used to eating lunch in the afternoon! It's kind of funny, you're probably expecting to see something very Mexican on my plate, but we actually had mashed potatoes, green beans, and meatloaf (haha, no, I'm not vegetarian...the meatloaf just wasn't done yet when I took this picture...). BUT! There is agua de jamaica in my glass...exotic enough?

After lunch, we got ready and then headed out to the gym. Don't you wish you had my self-photography skillz? Eww.
Driving to gymnastics...
Faith, Rachel, Cristi, Carissa, and I did almost 2 hours of a pretty exhausting aerobics workout. In fact, our instructor made us learn how to fly. Just kidding...though I look like I'm trying to evolve into a bird here. :P Also, I learned that I am far from coordinated when it comes to the trampoline...
Okay, tell me if Faith isn't the coolest missionary mom ever?! I could NEVER do a split in the air like this!
A random picture Rachel took as we left the gym...
After we got home, I had a Western Lit chat (at 7). It was interesting; we talked about Romantic era art, as you can see...
After the chat, I headed over to the house. A couple random pictures with Cristi and Cara...

We ate supper at about 8 (once again, normal!)...quesadillas!
In case you were dying to know, here's what the inside looks like.

After supper, Cristi wanted to do a little more science before bed, so she watches the review lesson (haha, this is Dr. Devolve)...
...while Carissa and I take ridiculous pictures of ourselves. And no, most of them will never see the light of day on this blog. :P
After that, I head over to the cabin and start uploading pictures while chatting with Erika and doing some reading for Freedom's (the US Constitution...again).
Yay for skype! I talked to my dad and Erika for awhile...she was writing posts for college, but it was cool to talk to my dad for awhile (a lot of times he's still at work when I call).

And now, here I am, finishing up the blog post before heading to bed! Haha, this is another of the crazy pictures I took with Carissa, but it accurately represents what I'd like to be doing right now. :D
So, that's that. Pretty typical, though I don't go to the gym every day, West Lit chats are only once a week, and Sundays are an entirely different story...maybe I'll have to write about a Sunday sometime!

Sorry this blog post is entirely lacking in humor...my brain is not being funny at all. It just keeps saying "sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" So, good night!

I AM STUCK ON A TITLE!!!

2011-01-31T22:48:00.002-05:00

I am not a good blog post titler. So that will have to suffice, even with all caps. They convey my frustration with subject lines and paper titles and blog post titles and all of those things, you see.

Just like John Dickinson! Um, you don't see the correlation? See, I am reading John Dickinson, a rather sharp colonist who published some letters right before the Revolutionary War (I'm reading some of his Letters from a Farmer in Pennsylvania for Freedom's), and he totally typed in all caps.

I know, I know. He didn't type. But what I'd like to know is, how did he convey his frustration with a quill pen? Jab holes in his paper? Occasionally dump his ink pot under the important phrases?

...or maybe he actually scrawled in all caps.

But that was completely irrelevant to this blog post, although it is something I was thinking about tonight. Maybe you can tell I'm desperate to fill space here?

I don't have much to say, mainly because last week was fairly quiet. Quiet in the sense that I was sick and spent an awful lot of time sleeping. A bunch of the kids have been sick too, so we were all rather miserable. Well, I speak for myself. ;)

But, after nearly a straight week of being feverish, achy, weirdly tired, weak, and just overall blahhh, I'm very thankful to be almost completely better today!

It's a good feeling.

Today has been a great day, especially compared with last week. The box of books that my family mailed me a few weeks ago arrived at the post office today!!! You know, the box of books that I need to finish the school semester. Pretty cool!

Yesterday I finished a missionary biography of the life of James Fraser called Mountain Rain. I highly recommend it; very inspiring. Anyhow, I was in a contemplative mood, and one of his quotes struck me:

"I often think that it is only the very, very few who are prepared, by rigorous self-discipline (not a very popular thing nowadays), for a lifetime of great usefulness like John Wesley."

So now I am wondering if I am preparing in the best way possible so that God can make my life greatly useful. I want Him to maximize my life for His glory.

A few random thoughts before I sign off here...

-Josh's phonetic spelling continues to crack me up. Tonight he told me he was "gunu et slopejos." Then, concerned about my health, he asked "hav you ben eting ulot"). I laughed.

-I fail at eating tacos. I think there's an art that I have yet to cultivate. Mine collapse on my plate in a sad heap of...taco insides. But I will learn!

I'm going to bed early tonight, so this is it for now. I'll try to update sometime when there's something more blogworthy to write about!

Seriously?

2011-01-19T23:49:00.002-05:00

I try to placate the masses by writing an informative, gigantic blog post, and what happens?

They turn around and spam my facebook wall, demanding that I put up something new. In fact, I am informed that one friend is sitting on my blog right now, periodically hitting refresh. That, my friends, is dedication. And total insanity.

But that's beside the point.

The point is, ....ehh, what is the point?

I have no idea.

All I know is that I am being forced to blog, but I have absolutely nothing to say. Normally I store up little "blogging tidbits" (it should be "blogging bits," don't you think, for the alliteration and all?) in my brain. But this time, I have nothing.

So this will be a stream-of-consciousness blog. Because I don't want blogger to explode with a certain person's continual refreshing.

I guess I should start with what's new. Except I'm not sure if anything is particularly new.

I am still here in Mexico.

I am still living.

I am still in dire need of learning more Spanish.

I am still keeping up with my classes.

Yeah.

Today I taped up my syllabi on the wall, and I feel much more organized. See, I always post my syllabi on the wall at home, and it just didn't feel like school had started without them staring ominously down at me while I type posts. So, those are up.

On Saturday, we had a work day to fix up the house that will soon be a church!

Newsflash: I am not very good with pliers.

What's that? You wanted to hear something NEW?

Then I suppose saying that I'm not athletic and managed to injure myself at gymnastics the first day wouldn't be very novel, either.

Ah, I have learned something. Well, lots of things. But we'll go with this one:

The green stuff in the bowl on the table at the taco place isn't guacamole. Or even remotely avocado-ish.

I roasted my esophagus.

Those two points were entirely unrelated. Hah.

But hey, it's part of the Mexico experience. Right? Right.

I would write more, but I would like to get some reading done for my Freedom's class before I head to bed.

Placated, masses?

I'm in Mexico!

2011-01-13T22:14:00.004-05:00

Heh.

This blog post maybe more than slightly disjointed, because I've been working on it periodically over the last...week? Yeah, probably. I wanted to be detailed and descriptive, but in the interest of actually publishing something, this will have to suffice!

So without further ado, here is what I wrote probably a week ago:

Well, I really expected to blog more often this, but it's been rather crazy for the last few days.

Right now it's 7:05 AM on a school day, so I'll be heading over to the house to start teaching for the day in about 25 minutes. I'm sitting in the little cabin where Rachel and I are staying, and I can see my breath...and my fingers are almost numb as I'm typing. It's coooold here!

BUT! I have water on for tea, and I can hear it starting to boil. Excellent!

Actually, scratch that. I made hot chocolate instead. Happiness...let the blogging go on.

Let me see if I can do a quick wrap-up of what has transpired since my last blog post.

After I wrote that post, I finished last-minute packing (you know, toothbrush, etc.) and said goodbye to the family who stayed home. Let's just say I was thankful for waterproof makeup that morning... I'm not usually the emotional type, but it was tough!

My dad and four of the kids drove me to the airport (Katrina only went along to ride on the "essselater."). Going through security was a breeze, and I was at my gate with plenty of time. The only book I had ended up packing in my backpack (my carryon) was my Bible, so I read that for awhile.

It was pretty cool, I was supposed to read Isaiah 6 next, and I don't think any chapter could have been more appropriate, because verse 8 struck me with a totally new meaning as I sat and thought about leaving home for 4 months.

It says, "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me."

Pretty sweet, huh? It was like one last confirmation that this was what I was supposed to be doing.

(Speaking of Bible passages taking on new meaning, the tower of Babel account...ohhh man. Let's just say Spanish isn't coming easily. 'nough said!)

On the plane from Buffalo to Atlanta, I had the distinct privilege of sitting behind a man who was reading about plane crashes on his kindle. Haha, it was an interesting choice, to say the least.

And ahh, I will have to finish this tonight because I need to get ready to head over!

Ok, so, it's now the noche, and I am speaking Spanglish. Let's see if I can finish wrapping this up...

I met Rachel in the Atlanta airport, and the flight from there to Mexico City was long but interesting. We had a sort of kerfuffle in the Mexico City airport because we ended up going through customs twice...once without our baggage, and once with. ;) It was confusing because nobody seemed to speak English, which was to be expected since Spanish IS the official language here. (It's strange to be in the minority for the first time in my life!)

The Goldfuss family picked us up from there, and we stopped and ate tacos on the way home...I was a little out of it, I think, but they were good tacos. :)

They had mentioned that there was a surprise waiting for us...which turned out to be that Rachel and I get to stay in a cabin in their yard rather than in the room above the garage!

New Years Eve (the next night) involved watching Prince Caspian in Spanish (and understanding next to nothing), attempting to hit the pinata, and toasting in the new year (with cranberry juice, parents ;)).

I'm afraid I'll have to speak in generalities if I want this published tonight, so let's just hit the highlights here....

-School started up on January 3rd, which meant that Rachel and I had a few days to get used to our surroundings, unpack, and get the schedule run-down.

-The homeschooling is going very well; I think we're getting into a routine which helps tremendously.

-I only teach the three oldest kids, and only a couple subjects each.

-Here's a general idea of the school week schedule:

6:30: get up, shower, do devotions, and such.

7:30: head over to the house, eat breakfast

8:00-1:30- teach school (the ending time rather varies...)

1:30-2:00: my Spanish lesson with Reme

2:30: lunch.

After that, on Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to gymnastics (at least, that's the plan; it didn't work today because I came down with a fever) for two hours (4-6).

On Sundays...we go to church (no surprise there ;)). Being immersed in Spanish (singing, praying, and the sermon) for roughly four hours is both awesome and exhausting. Awesome because I learn a lot that way (I understand much more than I can speak, and I think my listening comprehension has improved significantly in just the two weeks I've been here), but exhausting because I still have to translate everything in my head (and I have SO much to learn!). I know that I need to be able to "think Spanish"...but I end up having to think of the English word every time.

Learning vocab from Reme is helping greatly, and I'm also studying a little bit on my own since (to my great joy) the code for my Spanish 3 & 4 textbook still works even though I'm not home to take Spanish 4, meaning that I can work through the online exercises and tutorials while I'm here. See, the textbook I bought was for both semesters, so I brought it along to keep working through it (heh, trying to teach myself verb conjugations from Spanish 4 without the aid of the prof; should be interesting!).

Also, since Mike writes out his sermons (but doesn't read directly from them), I've been working through translating them so that I can get more from the sermons AND improve my Spanish. It's been tremendously helpful! Carissa actually likes helping me understand the words and phrases that I just don't quite get, which is fantastic. She's a big help with that, though all the kids--even Cara--have taught me new Spanish words.

My college classes officially started on Wednesday, but I started the reading last week to try and stay somewhat ahead. We'll see how THAT works out. Oh, something cool...God's sovereignty, really: about 7 or 8 of the books I needed for my West Lit 2 class didn't come in the mail (to New York) until after I'd flown down here. I thought I had ordered with plenty of time, but apparently not!

Anyhow, I brought all the books I had gotten already and waited with fear and trembling for the Lit syllabus to be posted, not knowing which books I'd need first. Thankfully (praise the Lord!), I "happened" to have all the books I need for the first 3 1/2 weeks, due to a certain friend who "happened" to have some of the ones I needed. So that's a huge relief and blessing, and now we're testing the reliability of the US-Mexico mail system...

Ok, a few things I've learned:

-Pescado and pecado are entirely different. And that's all I have to say about that. ;)

-Dulce doesn't always mean candy.

-Pronunciation can be kinda crucial.

-Understanding a chemistry-type concept and explaining it are also vastly different.

-Mexican food is aMAZing! And picante. I've gotten to try so many new things, and I've liked just about everything. Really!

-Being able to sit on the roof without people thinking I've completely "lost it" is pretty sweet. At home when I sat on the porch roof studying, people driving by would slow waaaay down and gawk sometimes. But here it's normal!

-Never trust Mikey. Especially his lectures on Mexican culture and how to eat things, haha.

-When someone has written "I <3 [name]" on your arm, the difficulty of washing it off is directly proportional to the chance that aforementioned [name] will visit that day. Awkward.

-Skype is awesome.

-So are emails from siblings and friends.

-Aaaand so are *cough* blog comments gently prodding (maybe more like a violently POKING) me to blog... :P

-Fridays rock.

-My little brother is hysterical, and chatting with him is predictably amusing.

For example:

(edited for your sanity)

Jess: hi Josh :D

Josh: so hav you ben ding skul

Jess: yes, I am

Jess: did you learn how to write better?

Josh: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 kis

Jess: awww! do you love me?

Josh: ya

Jess: do you have a lot of snow?

Josh: yae

Jess: is it snowing right now?

Josh: no

Jess: good!

Josh: x-( i lik it wen it is snoing :'(

Jess: haha, good for you! and you are getting good at typing!

Jess: I am impressed

Jess: is anyone helping you?

Josh: no wun is helping [never would have guessed :P]

Jess: wow, you are such a big dude now!

Jess: how is school?

Josh: gud [hope he works on spelling!]

Josh: bi

Jess: bye!

-I brought too much pink. Wait, is that possible? Yeah, I think so.

-Ohh! Pictures would be cool, eh? Since I'm too lazy to upload, here's a public link to my Mexico album...I'll keep adding to it.

All right, I've got to finish listening to a Freedom's lecture before I fall asleep, so I'll catch you all later!

Take a breath, take a step...

2010-12-30T07:30:00.004-05:00

Well, this is it, folks! ;)

I'm sitting here on my bedroom floor, surrounded by my suitcases...I have never packed SO much stuff in my life! And my sisters will attest to the fact that I usually pack excessively, but I've never had to pack for such a long trip.

In a few hours, we'll be heading to the airport. It all feels so surreal. I'm still not sure that I've gotten used to the idea of being gone for over four months. The last two weeks of Christmas break have been a haze of cleaning, getting together with friends and family, watching God provide for my financial needs for the trip (being completely blown away by the generosity and encouragement of friends and family), and packing. It's been an awesome break, though.

I don't have time to write much, but I wanted to share this song which has been running through my head constantly the last few days. I think it expresses my feelings quite well!

"I never got anywhere
By running away
I never learned anything
Without a mistake
Never loved anyone
By playing it safe
It's a long way down, but
I'm here right now, so...

Here goes nothing,
Here goes everything
Gotta reach for something
or you'll fall for anything

Take a breath,
Take a step,
What comes next
God only knows
But here goes

And what good is chance not taken?
What good is life not living?
What good is love not given?"

-Here Goes, by Bebo Norman

Not gonna lie, this trip scares me a little bit. It's out of my comfort zone....a leap of faith....a step into the unknown.

But I feel confident that this is where God wants me, and I'm excited to see what He has in store for me in Mexico City!

Besides, He's going with me. :)

I hope to post updates soon!

Um, hi.

2010-12-23T09:19:00.002-05:00

K, so most of my blog posts start with an immediate acknowledgment of the elephant in the room: the fact that I have not blogged in eons. Usually I apologize profusely for my neglect.

This time? It will be different. I am living in a state of denial.

See, I'm such a prompt and informative blogger, keeping my readers fully up-to-date on everything that goes on and LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF MY OWN AWESOMENESS.

Oh, look. I've just gotten a blog comment...hmm, it's spam:

"Rather cool place you've got here. Thank you for it. I like such topics and anything connected to this matter. I would like to read more on that blog soon. How about changing it once in a few months?"

Hahaha, even the spammers are guilt-tripping me!! I just can't win...

Aaaaanyhow, I am here. I've got Pandora playing away [side note: Pandora rocks. I'm a little late to be joining the Pandora bandwagon, but it's just as cool as everyone says]. And I've got a lot of thoughts floating around in my head that would like to be blogged...we'll see how that goes!

First off, it's hard to believe that it was exactly a week ago today that I was heading in to my very last final. Yep, the sophomore fall semester = pwned. Actually, I didn't get that elusive 4.0 that I've been shooting for from the beginning, but I came closer than I ever have before. (It looks like it will be 4 As and one A-, but I'm happy). It was a long semester--I was working for the first half and trying to keep up with outside activities--so it's SO good to be done!! God is good.

I was a tad apprehensive about taking a class on campus (you know, being in the classroom setting for the first time...ever), but it actually was a great experience. The Spanish 1 & 2 classes that I took over the summer were sufficient to get me up to the level of Spanish 3, and I learned so much in that class. I met a sweet girl who was incredibly helpful as a study partner, and turned out to be related to me very distantly. Life is funny.

Thoughts on papers: PHC is forcing me to write. A lot. It's good for me, especially because I've always hated my writing and still don't think I'm good at it (and I'm seriously not fishing for compliments here, just being honest). That said, I have learned specifically that it's bad to use words that are not really words. Um, yeah. Even if Word agrees with me that convincingness is a word...it's not. Actually, there are a lot of words that should be words but aren’t (at least, according to Microsoft Word). Like perfectify. And assentive. Memorability. And unforgetability. Oh well.

So, that's that.

Second, I am going to Mexico. Actually, I'm flying out almost exactly one week from today. Weird...one week ago today I was taking a Spanish final (and then running out of the building and jumping into a snow bank out of sheer joy), and a week from today I'll be boarding a plane bound for a warmer climate. WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sorry, had to get that out.

So far, break has been fantastic. My new laptop came yesterday, and I'm actually using it right now, trying to get used to the keyboard. I've been cleaning my room, sorting out the clothes I want to take, spending more time with siblings who don't want me to leave (awww!), and overall getting SO STOKED about this trip.

I've been completely overwhelmed (in a good way!) by the generosity of family and friends. I spoke in church about my opportunity to go on this missions trip, and people have been so supportive. Such a blessing.

Speaking of blessings, my conniving friends and sisters totally shocked me on Saturday with a surprise birthday/going away party. I was flabbergasted! I never suspected a thing...I guess I was nicknamed "Jessica the Oblivious" for good reason. =P It was a very special day; one that I don't think I'll ever forget.

GAH. Talking about birthday parties reminded me...I'm going to be 20. In like, five days? Yikes. It's funny, because when I was little, I decided that I would be married by age 20. Ha. Obviously that didn't exactly pan out, and I'm glad it didn't. Pretty sure I'm not mature enough to handle that sort of responsibility! Besides, God apparently has different plans for me right now, and His plans are always better than mine. =)

Lately I've been trying not to focus on the "lasts." You know, the last PHC distance learning semester at home, the last days of being a teenager, the last Sunday at my church, the last time seeing someone before May--that sort of thing.

Sometimes I'm thankful that I don't cry easily, because otherwise I would have been a complete emotional wreck the last week! (And other times I wish I were more emotional because it would be appropriate to cry and I just can't...haha.)

Well, this is getting more and more random, so I think I'll sign off. I really hope to write updates here while I'm in Mexico, but I know better than to make any promises. ;)

To any remaining, long-suffering blog readers, have a very Merry Christmas! It's cliche, I know, but do remember what we're celebrating: Christ, the Creator of the Universe, became flesh and dwelt among us!

As my new favorite song says so beautifully, "Down from His glory, Ever living story, My God and Savior came, And Jesus was His name. Born in a manger, To His own a stranger, A Man of sorrows, tears and agony. Oh how I love Him! How I adore Him! My breath, my sunshine, my all in all! The great Creator became my Savior..."

Isn't it wonderful?!

epic. fail.

2010-09-27T16:00:00.005-04:00

At the risk of stating the obvious, I've utterly neglected my blog lately. Like, almost completely forgotten it existed. If it weren't for a persistent somebody, I wouldn't even be here now, listening to Aaron Shust and Coldplay (I know, unlikely combination, but I like it!), working on a rhetoric assignment, and typing away on this post [multitasking for the win!].

Actually, in my defense (haha), I thought I had blogged more recently. I figured that I had written since summer, but as it turns out...I haven't!

This means that I have much to catch up on. Almost 3 months, in fact.

Oh my.

So, summer was incredibly fast. I mean, summers have always seemed to go quickly to me, simply because I've never wanted them to end. But this one went especially fast because I was working roughly 20-30 hours per week and took 9 credits. I honestly don't ever want to do that again! I felt that I couldn't devote enough time to my classes (partially why I did rather poorly on that stupid trig exam...). Oh well...

I was really blessed with a job that paid more than I ever imagined it could. Actually, I earned more per hour there (most of the time, it fluctuates) than I did with my lovely government job. Tips are really nice... :) I've decided that I will be an amazing tipper for the rest of my life. 20%, people! Those sorts of tips make my life (30% tips ROCK.)

That restaurant job ended on Saturday, as the place closes for the winter. Plus, the owners are selling the restaurant (they own two others), so I'm not even sure if it will exist next summer. Depending on who takes it over, I may try to work there next summer. One of the day managers was considering taking over, and as I love her, I would SO stay there if she did.

I started fall classes on August 23rd. I'm taking 15 credits, which is the most I've ever done at once. (I know, I know...for a PHC student, 15 credits = underachiever. haha.)

Funny story: Here I am a sophomore in college, and I just now (well, August 23rd) started taking my first ever class in a real live classroom. It's a unique and entertaining experience, I think. So many things that I'd heard about but never actually experienced: a professor right in front of me who will answer any question right away! She doesn't pause for two days and then give a two sentence reply. :) It's interesting to compare the academics between a state university and a Christian liberal arts college, though. PHC is much more challenging, but Spanish 3 is definitely a stretch for me after doing all my language online previously.

Warning: bombshell ahead. Please spit out your gum now. (Unless of course, you know me, in which case you likely already know this. hmm. Never mind the gum comment.)

So, I might possibly potentially maybe kind of be going to Mexico in January for five months. It's an opportunity that I'm praying about, but so far God is really opening doors, and it seems as though he's leading me in that direction. I mean, I'm all about seizing opportunities and I love to pontificate on the necessity of not hesitating when you feel that God is calling you...but, Mexico City? By myself? For five months? Really now?

Basically, there is a sweet missionary family in Mexico City looking for someone to help homeschool their children for the spring semester. I would be helping with that as well as helping with the ministry, and in return, they would help me with my Spanish. The more I've read about their family and emailed with the parents, the more similarities I see with our family and the more comfortable I am with the whole situation.

As I was walking into Spanish class one beautiful morning last week, I was praying about Mexico. I had just realized just how expensive such a trip would be, especially while I'm trying to save up enough money to go on campus next fall. My finances would be completely strapped. Plus, my job was ending at my restaurant and I wasn't sure where to go next (I really despise searching for work!) As I walked, I was praying that if this is indeed God’s will, He would provide the means.

That night, my parents and I had a skype conversation with the missionary couple and I found out that I would actually need to go as a short term missionary under their missionary board. Meaning, I can call this a missions trip and need to raise support from friends, family, and local churches. Previously, I had been planning to pay for the whole trip out of my own pocket...but now I won't have to! Hmm, confirmation maybe?

Then on Saturday, I talked to my boss about whether she'd be keeping me on staff at one of her other restaurants or not. I didn't think she would, because when I'd worked at the other one (just one night due to a mix-up), they seemed fully staffed--maybe even overstaffed--and I felt as useless as a [insert appropriate metaphor here...haha]. To my surprise, she told me that restaurant needed revamping and that she really wants to keep me on. Aaand, when I asked a coworker what exactly needed revamping, she said the employees do--in other words, she'll fire some of them because she wants to keep me. Wow. I'm not sure if it will actually happen, but that could be another major blessing.

mmm, hear that creaking sound? Yeah, I think it's a door opening.

I'm just a little bit excited.

[!!!!!!]

I'd really appreciate prayer for wisdom for both my parents and me. They're both pretty positive about the whole idea (especially after the skype convo), which is quite incredible. So, pretty soon it will be decision-making time. Yikes!

I. am. not. good. at. decisions.

I NEED AN AUDIBLE VOICE! Please, God?

I will [TRY to] keep you updated.

Peace out.

;)

Don't fall out of your chair...

2010-07-08T08:40:00.005-04:00

...because this is a new blog post. For real.

See, I thought I was doing well since I'm keeping up with publishing comments and always respond within a couple days to the emails from people with questions about my blog posts. But...then I hopped onto my blog and saw that my last post was published in May. And I realized that, dude, it's been way too long.

So here I am!

To be honest, I had plenty of time to blog in the first few weeks of June. I simply didn't have anything to blog about. Actually, I was bored for the first time in at least a year, maybe longer. I had been so busy finishing high school, applying to college, working, campaigning, and doing college that when it all abruptly ended, I really didn't know what to do with myself. It was the strangest feeling ever.

I spent the majority of June job-searching. It was a frustrating process, but on June 20th I finally landed a job. After weeks of looking, sixteen applications, and two interviews, you better believe that I was incredibly relieved. Proof that persistence pays off? Maybe. But definitely proof that God was teaching me a lesson about being patient and trusting Him to provide for my needs (namely, money for college) if it's His will that I continue at PHC.

Right after that, life started getting crazy again. A family reunion, two college classes in full swing, working three different jobs in the space of two weeks (I was helping out/filling in at two of my past jobs and training at my new one), and some political work quickly ended my boredom!

So now I'm working as a server (waitress) at a rather classy restaurant. On nights when we're busy, I've found that I can make up to $70 in tips, which is nice. Especially because I've now found a place to park legally! That sounds bad, so let me explain. The Chautauqua Institution has this thing about charging an arm and a leg for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Including parking. I found out the hard way that they really do care if you park without buying the $175 parking permit. Soo...I now park a million miles away (about a fifteen minute walk, not bad really) and pay $2 for parking. Anyhow, I've learned so much and have much to learn, but I'm starting to enjoy working there (especially the part where I find money meant for me to like, have under plates after my customers have left). It's quite a thrill.

Today is my second day off since my job started (on June 20th). I'm spending it creating a Euclidean geometry proof and catching up on some Spanish homework. It's surprising how difficult it is to motivate myself to do homework without falling asleep when I get home from work around 10 PM. Actually, the geometry proof was due last night, but I got an extension from my awesome professor since I literally had no time to finish it this week due to work and circulating petitions.

Some things I've been thinking about...

A couple Sundays ago, our pastor preached on Philippians 1:21, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Normally I focus on the second half of that verse, contemplating on how, for the Christian, death is not something to be feared or dreaded. But the sermon focused on the phrase "to live is Christ." In other words, everything we do in this life should be for Christ. Nothing I'd never heard before, but somehow it made me start thinking. Is my life spent passionately pursuing the Savior and doing God's will, or is it only centered on what I want to the exclusion of all else?

While driving to work last week, I was thinking about this when Francesca Battistelli came on the radio:

"It’s your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It’s an open door"

Sooo, what do my choices say about me? That my heart beats for Christ...or for me?

Anyhow, it's something I'm still wrestling with, and something I'd encourage you to think on as well.

All right, that's it for now. Peace out, folks!

Wow.

2010-05-25T15:08:00.002-04:00

I've opened up this post several times over the last couple of weeks, fully intending to finish and publish it...but to no avail. Things have been a bit crazy lately, to the point that I'm not even sure where to start.

When I first started writing this post, on May 12th at 11:28 PM, it had a MUCH more creative title (haha) and began like this:

Roughly an hour ago, I finished my freshman year of college. Let me tell you, it is an aMAZing feeling!! I spaced my finals out so that I only did one per day, but it was still an intense experience that I'm glad to have over with. Very glad, in fact.

The next night, I tried again, changing it to

Roughly twenty-four hours ago, I finished my freshman year...

Obviously, it's not correct now, because twenty-four hours ago, I was still on my way home from an awesome trip to Tennessee and Indiana. My freshman year has been over for almost two weeks now, and I started my summer PHC Euclidean Geometry class last night (after unpacking, responding to a million emails, and practicing piano with a friend for our duet at the recital next week).

So yeah. After some major updating, here's from the original post:

These days, I'm so incredibly grateful for...
...the love and support of my family & friends
...the grace of God
...professors who are (for the most part!) understanding
...what looks to be an improvement in my GPA over last semester [yes!!]
...campaign opportunities
...encouraging and incredibly helpful classmates who organize study chats, briefing discussion boards, and helping me edit my papers
...happy texts that come just when I need them
...a friend who functions as an alarm clock when needed
...my sister Erika, who "helps" me study (by pretending to listen while I explain my notes)
...my mom, who drives to the bank at the drop of a hat when I need to buy plane tickets (haha) and always listens to my papers
...my other little sibs, who mostly stay out of the way while I'm studying (even though I'm at home doing distance learning, they say that they never see me!

I've realized that one of the things that I'll miss the most about distance learning when I go to campus (Fall of 2011) is the artwork in my notebooks. See, my two youngest siblings (ages three and five) love to sit in my room with me and "write" in my notebooks. Later, when I'm taking notes, I'll run across the most hilarious drawings ever. Maybe sometimes I will post some of their pictures...they're just that funny! I've decided that before I go on campus, I will have Josh and Katrina draw some pictures in the notebooks I take, just so that I will have something to laugh at while studying. :)

Actually, I'll miss their encouragement as well. Not only do my siblings stay out of my room during exams (haha), but they also can tell when I'm stressed and tired and will write notes for me. I'm not exactly sure they can tell when I'm wiped out, but maybe it's because I start falling asleep everywhere. Like on my desk. (Yeah, again.) And in the van (Yeah, this time I literally did miss five minutes of my piano lesson because I fell asleep while waiting for my turn). Oh, and I started sleepwalking. Rather embarrassing, because I thought I had outgrown that, but apparently not! So, my siblings write me encouraging notes like this one which I taped to my wall:

Hey Jess, Don't give up on your college. Remember, God loves you. Philippians 4:6: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Isn't it sweet? Anyhow, I still have over a year of distance learning left, but I've already started thinking about what I'll miss about being here. (Yet, at the same time, I am incredibly excited about going on campus!)

I'm realizing that this post is already getting quite random and disjointed, but I need to hurry up and finish it so that I can get ready for a live geometry lecture and then a county GOP meeting.

A quick wrap-up of the trip:
-it was a blast.
-campaigning is fun, especially when a certain person is in a hilarious mood that involves non-stop, stream-of-consciousness talking. :P
-Tennessee weather is funky.
-There are a lot of homeschoolers in Indiana. 85 graduated along with my friend Emily at the INHF graduation ceremony. It was pretty cool.
-It's good to be home!

The next week will be rather intense, as I need to locate a job. See, on the drive up to Indiana on Friday, I got an interesting phone call wherein I learned that I no longer have a job this summer. Due to some budget cuts, there isn't enough money to hire me full-time during the summer. So, I am back to looking for a job! Needless to say, I was freaking out about it, knowing that if I can't make a certain amount of money over this summer, I'll need to drop out of PHC. But on Sunday, at Emily's church, the pastor preached from Philippians 4:19 which states, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." It was one of those sermons where you feel like every word is directed at you, and I came away feeling very encouraged. You see, I realized that if God wants me to continue at PHC, He will enable me to earn the money necessary. So many times I try to take things into my own hands, attempting to plan my future and control everything. But in losing a job that I took for granted, I realized in a rather dramatic way that really, my life is in God's hands, not mine.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Do your eyes hurt?

2010-04-23T17:23:00.002-04:00

In case you hadn't noticed (whoever you are, anyhow...), I've updated my blog header and changed my template. It was time for a change, since my last picture was taken last fall (in September, perhaps?) waaay back when I still had braces. Wow.

I realize the colors are a little bright, but I'm excited about spring (and daffodils!!!!!) and wanted my blog to reflect that excitement. So please bear with me until I decide to change it again.

This is going to be a really short post. [I think I said that last time. Oh well.] I only have three weeks left until I'm finished with the spring semester, at which point I will likely write another crazy post that will completely update everyone.

Last week was insane, with far too much due within a short amount of time for this frazzled girl. Stress and I do not get along well, and let's just say I'm thankful that God provides. Even when a term paper needs to be written in a day and a half.

Two things I learned over the last couple weeks: I fail epically at all-nighters. And I have not outgrown sleepwalking, sadly. [My sleeping habits have been pretty bad lately, can you tell? haha]

All righty folks, that's it for now! See you on the other side of finals!

Some Kind of Wonderful...

2010-04-03T15:36:00.000-04:00

Yep, that is the title to a sappy romantic song, but don't worry, I'm not talking about a guy. Not even close! I'm actually talking about Spring Break!! It's finally here, and it is some kind of wonderful!!!

(Please excuse the exclamation points. They won't go away.)

It's a short break (just from Wednesday to Sunday) but I'll take it! I was starting to feel a little burned out with all of the assignments due just before break started. In fact, it was one mad scramble those last few days with exams and papers due, but the thought of spring break motivated me to write my Hume paper on Tuesday. And now I only have three papers and six exams to go (I have five papers and eight exams down).

On Thursday, a friend came over and we went traipsing through the woods, had an epic snowball fight (in bare feet, no less), had an adventure involving quicksand (we survived) and went out on the Beaver Pond in a flimsy raft and were nearly eaten by the Loch Beaver Monster (who is actually just an orange fish). It was awesome!

I'm getting ready to leave in about ten minutes to sing in a cantata presented by area churches titled "The Power of the Cross." I've really enjoyed being involved in it and I'm really looking forward to performing it. I hope it blesses the people watching as much as it has blessed me. It was so nice to take some time off for practices over the past few months. Singing is great therapy for the college-zonked mind. Haha.

Real quick before I dash out the door (since I doubt I'll be blogging for quite some time...maybe not even until college is over), I've started planning summer classes. Actually, I think my summer is totally booked. I plan on taking nine credits (Euclidean Geometry from PHC and Spanish 1 & 2 from a SUNY college through DL), working pretty much full time, and hopefully campaigning at some point for some awesome Tennesseans. :)

Well, my time is up! Catch you all later...

Oh, look!

2010-03-09T02:02:00.005-05:00

It's a (relatively) non-boring post!! What do you know...

So, I've just posted two papers from this semester (I've also written one on Descartes, but I don't think that will be appearing here any time soon. Let's just say I hope to never look at that paper again! Unless, of course, I am satisfied with the grade...) and feel that I should write something slightly more lighthearted before my blog becomes hopelessly dry. In fact, I was informed that I could blog my papers, but that I needed to write about my life as well. But...but...but...papers + exams + reading = my life right now!

That aside, I will attempt to comply with my orders and write something more readable than incoherent thoughts on Anselm and Adam Smith.

Not that this post will be interesting. I am feeling rather drained of creativity right now; plus, it's nearly 1 AM and my brain may shut down at any moment (Yes, I assure you that there would be a noticeable distinction between Jessica-with-functioning-brain and Jessica-without-functioning-brain. I just can't think of what exactly that would be.)

Most of this post was written while hopping between blogger and writing philosophy discussion board posts. That may be helpful to keep in mind. Or not.

Today, my mom and I went to the oral surgeon. <--- That sentence alone strikes terror into my soul.

Oral.
Surgeon.
Very scary words indeed.

You see, now that I have gotten my braces off, it seemed that the next logical step would be to...spend MORE money on my teeth/jaw/whatever. So not only have I been to a real live dentist (with NO ortho prefix! Novel idea.), but I have also been to the oral surgeon to see about removing my "third molars," aka wisdom teeth.

Actually, going to the dentist was itself rather humorous, as I had been going to the Dental Van over the past...maybe five or six years of my life. (Yeah, the Dental Van is about as exciting as it sounds.) That was all well and good, except the Dental Van is for kids and they kicked me out (not literally, of course) when I turned eighteen. So a couple weeks ago I ended up going to my mom's dentist, who had not seen me since May of 1997. Yes, I was six then. But what cracked me up was the medical history form that I was handed so that I could update it. It was what my mom had written about me waaaay back then, and I started laughing when I realized that absolutely nothing had changed...not even the note she had written under "patient problems or concerns": "she brushes often but never flosses." Sadly, that is still the case. And yes, I am aware that this makes me horrible person.

Anyways, I had some x-rays done (which the staff found hilarious....apparently the roots of my teeth are excessively long and are positioned abnormally because of my small jaw. So, it looks like my teeth have legs with little feet at the ends of the roots. And I'm sure you all wanted to know that. Moving on...) and the dentist told me that I do indeed have four wisdom teeth that should be removed as soon as possible.

Great.

So. Today. We went to the oral surgeon. It was a consultation visit; you know, the kind where you pay $45 dollars for having the doctor talk to you for five minutes. As part of the "informed consent" process, I was required to watch an 11-minute video all about the ~~horrors~~ great fun of the procedure. I was just fine until the talking dude mentioned that one possible side effect was DEATH. Wait, what?!

"Oh, and by the way...this is potentially fatal."

Like, hello?

I'm not exactly sure why, but I don't actually want to die while having my wisdom teeth extracted. I'm just weird like that.

The nurse came back in and said it was an "informative" video. I told her that I was now sufficiently petrified. She didn't seem concerned. And when I informed my mom that I was certain to die, she just laughed at me. Such sympathy.

However, there is hope.

The doctor came in and told us that my wisdom teeth are sufficiently impacted as to be completely embedded in the bone. For that reason, he thought it would be best to wait a year or more before extracting them so that the surgery would be easier. And believe me, I was just fine with that!

After that ~~harrowing~~ fantastic ordeal, we went to Starbucks. (Note: Starbucks is awesome.) The closest Starbucks we have is on the college campus (SUNY Fredonia) and I go there when I want to feel like an actual college student. Sitting in front of a computer gets old really fast, and living miles from your classmates...and having never met any of them...is also a downside of distance learning. (Confession of the day: An example of the lengths I will go to convince myself that my classmates are real people and not just names on discussion board posts...I have found that by searching the student portal, I can learn all of the students' middle names. So, I have. Because I am just that much of a stalker.) Anyhow, sometimes I will go to the college library or Starbucks and brainstorm papers and pretend that I'm just one of the students. It's very sad how much of a thrill that gives me, actually.

Where was I? Oh, that's right. I introduced my mom to the campus Starbucks. It was fun. I conveniently had no money with me. Funny how that worked out. My sentences are getting choppy again. I would call it awesome mom-daughter bonding time...except I was reading an exhilarating book on FDR's New Deal and she was people watching. Whatever.

I have a feeling that this post is becoming ridiculously long, and my ability to write coherent sentences is flying out the window. So I think I'll just sum up some random things and then go to bed.

I have learned that...

*Rene is a boys' name...at least in France.
*Descartes is pronounced WAY different than it looks.
*Discussion board posts should not be attempted when very tired.
*It is actually possible to fall asleep while sitting at a computer, with your head on the desk. I wish it only happened in movies.
*Papers do not write themselves while you are asleep on said desk.
*Falling asleep while sitting in the van waiting for a piano lesson is extremely disorienting.
*Waking up thinking that you've somehow slept through your piano lesson is very disconcerting.
*Being absorbed in studying for exams causes skipping way too many meals.
*Little sisters are awesome...especially when they bring me food in my room that I would otherwise completely forget to eat.
*Along the same lines...people will notice--and comment--if I lose even five pounds. Ridiculous.
*Hearing many people tell you to eat gets annoying. So, you eat. (No, I am NOT anorexic. I just forget to eat. Trust me on this.)
*Descartes was the dude who invented those horrid Cartesian coordinate planes. I KNEW there was a reason I didn't like him!
*Descartes should have stuck with math. Seriously.
*Adam Smith's invisible hand is awesome at helping to write essays on economics (sort of like a ghost writer, you see) but writes in invisible ink. (That's a definite downside.)
*My computer is run by a cave man.
*The cave man who runs my computer hates me with a passion.
*Having Firefox crash in the midst of a Philosophy exam is not a fun experience. (And yes, I am getting a new computer shortly.)
*Going OVER the maximum word count while writing a paper is an awesome feeling. And one that will probably never happen to me again.
*Microsoft Word is not really a fun place to hang out for a day. Or two.
*Giving up facebook for ten days in a row is an excellent idea. So much more can be accomplished, and I didn't even die! Shocking...
*Learning about soteriology from a reformed perspective is incredibly interesting. And much different from how I was brought up. And that's all I have to say about that. :P
*Asking dad the theology discussion board questions makes for an interesting conversation. And interesting in a very good way.
*Essentially is a good word. So is subsequently. (Does having favorite words make me a nerd?)
*I am overly excited when I use words in my papers that my mom has never heard of (I was almost giddy when I found a way to use epistemological and solipsism.)

This post is definitely too long. And it is 2 AM. Good night, blogosphere. It will probably be some time before I post again, so I hope this is satisfactory. Or maybe even phenomenal.

Yeah.

Phenomenal would be nice.

Out.

Natural Law, Liberty, and Equality: The Enlightenment’s Influence on Smith’s Economics

2010-03-09T00:14:00.004-05:00

The year 1776 is regarded as a year of extraordinary change, political upheaval, and revolution. But although it is remembered most as the year in which the American colonists declared their independence from Britain, 1776 was also the year of another historically significant event: the publishing of Adam Smith’s monumental treatise on economics, An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations. Smith’s book revolutionized economic thought and profoundly influenced the founders of the United States. The Wealth of Nations was revolutionary due to the fact that it was the first application of Enlightenment thought to economics. Smith based his economic theories on the Enlightenment ideas of liberty, equality, and natural law, creating an insightful book that entirely contradicted the widely accepted economic policy of mercantilism.

The book’s central premise—that the economy operates according to established and predictable patterns—is itself based on the Enlightenment principle of natural law. In fact, the principles found in The Wealth of Nations necessitate the belief that there are specific laws and principles in nature that can be studied systematically in order to discover the patterns and laws of economics. During the Age of Enlightenment, natural laws were discovered that demonstrated that the universe operates according to specific and consistent patterns. Adam Smith then applied the concept of natural laws to the field of economics. He argued that there are dependable patterns of economics that function independent of human regulation or interference.

According to Adam Smith, there is an “invisible hand” (1) that directs the actions of individual consumers and producers, causing the economic system to work harmoniously without outside regulation. He believed that laws such as supply and demand operate consistently and best without government intervention. In fact, Smith claimed that regulation by the government is “useless or hurtful.” (2) The economy works best without interference, for “every individual necessarily labours [sic] to render the annual revenue of the society as great as he can.” (3) Smith believed that an individual seeking his own advantages promotes the good of the society far better than a governmental policy could. For in seeking to accumulate wealth for himself, an individual will encourage production, trade, and the growth of industry, all without being specifically aware of the greater results of his actions.

Adam Smith incorporated another Enlightenment idea into The Wealth of Nations when he stated that free market capitalism cannot exist without liberty. Liberty was an integral part of Enlightenment thought, and one that Smith believed is foundational to the free market system. He argued that capitalism can only thrive in a society where the people have the freedom to choose their occupations. According to Smith, giving all people the opportunity to find occupations that best enhance their wealth contributes to the good of the entire society. (4)

The Age of Enlightenment was a time of questioning traditional authority structures, and Smith applied the distrust of heavy-handed authority to his economic theories. He stated that governmental control is detrimental to the economy and that examinations are “altogether inconsistent with liberty” and must be avoided. (5) Smith’s views on liberty and laissez faire economics contrasted sharply with the prevailing mercantilist belief that the government must intervene in the economy to maintain a favorable balance of trade. Thomas Mun, an advocate of the economic system of mercantilism, had argued that government management was essential, but Smith dismisses his argument as “sophistical.” (6) Rather, Smith argued, “the freedom of trade without any such attention, never fails to supply in the proper quantity.” (7) And not only is government management unnecessary, according to Smith, but it is also harmful. Smith believed that the government cannot know what is best for the economy and that a country’s “industry…must necessarily be diminished by every such regulation.” (8) Thus, the people are best possessed with the knowledge of what expenditures and investments will work to their advantage, and ultimately, the benefit of the society as a whole.

Further demonstrating his acceptance of Enlightenment thought, Smith argued in favor of a non-traditional government. Many Enlightenment thinkers questioned the validity of established authority structures, debating whether the monarchy was the best form of government. Similarly, Adam Smith rejected absolutist governments and believed that governments must necessarily have checks and balances. Judicial and executive branches of government should, according to Smith, remain separate to avoid conflicts of interest and corruption. (9) Based on his arguments for liberty and for checks and balances in government, it is apparent that Smith was opposed to the traditional authoritarian governments.

Equality is another Enlightenment principle that Smith embraced in The Wealth of Nations. He stated that there is little difference in natural talents, for all people are endowed with much the same capacities and abilities. The only difference, he argued, between the common street porter and the lofty philosopher is the different education and experiences each have had. At birth, Smith argued, all men are alike, but circumstances in life determine which of their talents will be developed. The lowest working class child, then, is only separated from the nobleman’s child by opportunity. Therefore, there is no inherent inferiority in the poorer child.

Smith’s belief that there is no social hierarchy that makes men of greater or lesser importance has significant ramifications in regards to government. Smith called into question the entire concept of the divine right of kings by stating that all men are equal in talent. In explaining political relationships, Smith stated that people naturally admire leaders for their wealth and for their social status. He wrote that, “birth and fortune are evidently the two circumstances which principally set one man above another.” (10) For Smith, then, kings and noblemen do not have a natural superiority, nor are they divinely appointed by God to their positions of power. Thus, Smith’s ideas regarding government contradict the prevailing view about the nature and source of the government’s authority and coincide with Enlightenment ideals.

Reason and science were foundationally important Enlightenment concepts. Smith integrated both into The Wealth of Nations, utilizing reason to make his points and embracing the new scientific advances in technology as beneficial to the economy. Rather than basing his economic theories on established opinion or divine revelation, Smith charted his own course in economics by observing the principles of natural law and reasoning from that point. He relied on his intellect to deduce the laws of economics from his observations of the world. Smith’s pin factory illustration is a great example of his use of rationalization and scientific calculations to demonstrate the advantages of the division of labor. The division of labor, the “greatest improvement in the productive powers of labour [sic],” is a rational, scientific principle. (11) By having each worker repeat the same task continually in the factory assembly line system, it is clear that efficiency would be much greater than an individual attempting to create an entire product alone. (12)

Smith also encouraged new scientific inventions, believing that mechanized labor is beneficial to society. He states that “every body must be sensible how much labour [sic] is facilitated and abridged by the application of proper machinery.” (13) In fact, he argued that a great benefit of the division of labor is that it is largely responsible for the invention of new technology. In encouraging scientific breakthroughs and labor-saving machines, Smith clearly embraced Enlightenment change and new scientific ideas.

The inherent rights of mankind were heavily emphasized by Enlightenment thinkers, and Adam Smith similarly spoke of the natural rights of man. He stated that prohibiting the people from capitalizing on their goods is a “violation of the most sacred rights of mankind.” (14) According to Smith, the purpose of civil government is to protect the “liberty, reason, and happiness of mankind,” ideas that Enlightenment thinkers had articulated. (15) Additionally, Smith believed strongly in the “sacred rights of private property.” (16) The importance of owning private property and having freedom from the bonds of serfdom were greatly emphasized by Enlightenment thinkers.

In wholeheartedly embracing new Enlightenment thought and applying those principles to his theories of economics, Adam Smith demonstrated remarkable brilliance. In his day, Smith’s ideas were revolutionary. In challenging the widely accepted mercantilist policies of the nations, Smith profoundly changed economic thought and influenced the founders of the United States, who largely accepted his ideas. Even today, over two hundred years after The Wealth of Nations was first published, Smith’s ideas remain widely accepted. The successes of free market capitalism seem to have vindicated Smith’s ideas, which have inspired generations of economists to embrace his views of laissez faire capitalism.

(1) Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations, ed. Edwin Cannan (New York: Bantam Dell, 2003), 572.
(2) Ibid., 573.
(3) Ibid., 572.
(4) Ibid., 591.
(5) Ibid., 1193.
(6) Ibid., 544.
(7) Ibid.
(8) Ibid., 574.
(9) Ibid., 916.
(10)Ibid., 905.
(11)Ibid., 9.
(12)Ibid.
(13)Ibid., 16.
(14)Ibid., 738.
(15)Ibid., 1013.
(16)Ibid., 233.

Reason to Believe: An Analysis of Anselm's Ontological Argument

2010-03-09T00:03:00.004-05:00

In his Proslogion, Anselm builds a convincing argument for the existence of God. His proof, sometimes referred to as the ontological argument, is then questioned by Gaunilo, who asserts that the same logic could be used to prove the existence of a fictional island; thus, Anselm’s argument is not valid. However, Gaunilo’s criticisms are based upon a flawed analogy and do not sufficiently refute Anselm’s argument, which remains an excellent support for the existence of God.

While many have used the evidence of the design in nature to argue for the existence of God teleologically, Anselm bases his ontological argument entirely on logical reasoning. As he states in the preface, his goal was to find a single argument that would be sufficient to convince anyone of the existence of God without relying on faith in special revelation. “Faith seeking understanding”(1) describes Anselm’s quest for the perfect logical proof of God’s existence. In the argument Anselm presents in Proslogion, then, he attempts to prove that God exists based on the very definition of God.

Anselm begins his argument by positing that “something greater than which we can conceive of nothing”(2)—by which he means God—can be conceived of and understood. By this claim, Anselm is stating that the concept of God as the greatest being is not logically impossible. According to Anselm, even the fool mentioned in Psalm 14:1 who says in his heart that there is no God is forced to admit that God’s existence is logically possible.

Next, Anselm argues that this greatest being must exist in both the understanding and reality. He reasons that it is greater for something to exist than not to exist; therefore, God, the Supreme Being, must exist by virtue of His greatness. Another way to state the argument, albeit an over-simplification, is that God must exist by His own definition. Anselm states that God “alone [has] existence in the truest and highest sense, for nothing else so truly is or has existence in so great a measure.”(3) This description of God, Anselm reasons, is completely understandable and proves that this greatest being must exist in reality as well as in the intellect. Further, Anselm submits that it is impossible to conceive of God’s nonexistence, and as it is greater to conceive of existence than nonexistence, this supremely great being must exist.

Anselm continues his argument by examining how any person could believe that the Supreme Being, God, does not exist. The existence of any person who does not believe God to exist seems to refute Anselm’s premise that God’s nonexistence is inconceivable. Based on Psalm 14:1, though, it is evident that there are those who deny God’s existence. Anselm answers the dilemma by stating that the fool may state that God does not exist, but does not understand this to be true. The person who denies God’s existence, Anselm argues, does not truly understand the definition of God as the greatest being conceivable. He is not possessed of the correct view of God. Therefore, when confronted with the true definition of God, the greatest being conceivable, the atheist must admit that God’s existence is plausible. Thus, the ontological argument appears to be valid, such that it can only be refuted by denying one of the premises.

Playing the part of the atheist described in Psalm 14:1, Gaunilo disagrees with Anselm’s argument completely and seeks to refute it. To that end, Gaunilo first challenges the notion that the conceivability of an object proves its existence. To illustrate his point, Gaunilo describes a fictional island which he calls “Lost Island.” The island, he states, is “inestimably wealthy” and excels any other land in possessions. (4) It is the greatest island conceivable. Using Anselm’s logic, he says, one could prove that the imaginary island exists. For if Lost Island is a supremely good island, such that no greater land could be conceived of, and if it is greater to exist than not to exist, Lost Island must truly exist. Thus, Gaunilo states that if he can prove the existence of a nonexistent island by using the same logic with which Anselm proved the existence of God, the logic used in the ontological argument must be flawed.

Second, Gaunilo states that he has not, and will not, concede Anselm’s premise that the concept of a being greater than which none can be conceived is correct. According to Gaunilo, Anselm’s argument is not a sufficient proof for God’s existence; one must first prove by other means that there is such a supreme being and then proceed to “prove all the other attributes such a bigger and better being has to have.”(5)

Gaunilo’s objections, however, do not sufficiently rebut Anselm’s ontological argument. In the first place, his Lost Island analogy is flawed. God is supremely greater than all, such that nothing can be compared with Him. Describing a Lost Island that is superlative in terms of wealth is vastly different than describing a being that is greatest in all aspects. Anselm apparently sees the flaw in Gaunilo’s analogy as well, for he replies somewhat sarcastically that if anyone can find something “to which the logic of [his] argument can be applied” besides God, he would give him the Lost Island, “never to be lost again.”(6) Thus, the ontological argument cannot apply to an island, for it can only prove the existence of that which is greatest in every regard; namely, God. It is completely absurd to apply the ontological argument to an island or anything other than God.<

An additional problem with Gaunilo’s analogy is the difficulty of stating what exactly would constitute the greatest island. Gaunilo describes the island as wealthy and superior in comparison to all other land. However, the Lost Island is not necessarily the greatest thing that exists; it is simply the greatest of its type of thing: islands. God, though, is the greatest in every regard. He is not in a specific class of things with which to be compared; He is supreme when compared to all things whatsoever. The Lost Island in the analogy is greatest in terms of wealth, but God is supreme in every aspect and in all terms.

In order to thoroughly understand the flaws in Gaunilo’s Lost Island analogy, it may be helpful to view the analogy in terms of an object with which we are familiar: a computer. One could suggest that there exists the greatest computer conceivable. It could then be argued that because existence is greater than nonexistence, the imaginary computer must exist in actuality. However, the problem with both the computer and the island analogies is that both examples are simply the greatest of their type of object, not the greatest things conceivable. An island or a computer or any other thing is not the greatest being in every regard that could possibly exist. There are innumerable objects that could replace the Lost Island of Gaunilo’s example, none of which would form an accurate analogy. Therefore, Anselm’s ontological argument cannot prove the existence of imaginary objects, nor can it apply to anything other than God Himself.

Gaunilo’s second argument, that he has not conceded the existence of the greatest being conceivable, is a meaningless statement. Though a person may refuse to admit such, the concept of greatest is innate in the human intellect. Our lives are filled with comparisons, and we continually reference objects that are of greater and lesser degrees. Comparisons necessitate a greatest thing. But without the existence of a supremely great being, we cannot make any comparisons whatsoever. There must be something greatest of all on which to base our comparisons.

It is evident that Gaunilo’s objections to Anselm’s argument are not satisfactory. In the ontological argument, then, we see a convincing reason to believe in God’s existence. Although Anselm discovered this proof hundreds of years ago, it remains an excellent testimony to the power of reason to uncover that which is already believed by faith. God has made the evidence of His existence so clear that those who deny Him are fools who only profess themselves to be wise (Romans 1:22) but are “willingly ignorant” (2 Peter 3:5) of the truth and thus “without excuse” (Romans 1:20). Contemplating the ontological argument will lead us to say with Anselm, “Now I understand by [God’s] light what I once believed by [God’s] grace…”(7) For we see that by His very definition God must exist, and that is truly reason to believe.

Bibliography

Baird, Forrest E. and Walter Kaufmann. From Plato to Derrida. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc., 2008.

(1) Forrest E. Baird and Walter Kaufmann, From Plato to Derrida, 5^th ed. (Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc., 2008), 300.

(2) Ibid., 302.

(3) Ibid., 303.

(4) Ibid., 305.

(5) Ibid., 307.

(6) Ibid., 306.

(7) Ibid., 304.

Jessica erat in flagrante delicto...apparently.

2010-02-23T09:17:00.002-05:00

Uh, for those of you who don't know Latin (I don't either, no worries), that apparently means that I was "caught in the act." I have been busted for lack of blogging! Actually, I have received two emails in the last roughly 24 hours that thoroughly impressed upon my heart that it is, indeed and truly, time for another blog post.

Wondering what kind of threats were used to force me to go to www.blogger.com this time? Here's the email I received:

"Yes, Jessica, the time has come once again when I must speak to you about how infrequently you post on your blog. I'm sorry this is such a hassle, but apparently you still have not learned that I want to know more about your life than an occasional and far-between facebook one-line status updates. I care about you and want to get a more comprehensive view on how you are doing. And I am therefore asking you to blog.

Very sincerely, ********

ps Please do not say that you have blogged recently. By any standards it has been since the 18 January, 2010, which is fully a month and four days. And by my standards, which means something that actually talks about your life, it has been since 7 January 2010. In such post you brought up that you blogged more than twice a month last year, which you have not come close to this year. You have not been blogging recently. With all due respect: Jessica erat in flagrante delicto. Please remedy this."

So remedying I am. And I'll admit it. It has been forever since I blogged last. In fact, it has gotten so bad that I stopped checking my blog to see if I had updated.

My excuse is, of course, that I have been so insanely busy with college work that I hardly have time to eat and sleep, much less blog.

But for some people, that excuse just does not cut it. So, at the risk of killing my grades, failing classes, dropping out of college, ruining my life, and all other kinds of unspeakable doom, I will blog. Because that's just the kind of sacrificial person I am.

My life lately has consisted almost entirely of school work. I am only taking twelve credits (four classes), but it really is about all I can do to keep up. So far, I have completed the first four exams and have written one paper. I have three papers due within the next two weeks or so, and then exams again! It's never-ending, but it is doable...because God's strength is made perfect in my weakness, and man, have I been weak!

Philosophy has been my most difficult class this semester. However, thanks to Descartes I have made an amazing discovery: I can't think, therefore I am not. Which means I don't need to write any more philosophy posts or papers, since I don't exist! I was really excited about this until a classmate pointed out that I really can't think that I can't think, because thinking that I can't think is thinking. Snap!

Besides school, I have been still involved in Awana every Monday night, sometimes doing the council time lessons or doing the music for the Sparks. Choir practice seems to have been canceled a lot lately because of the snow, but I usually go to church for that on Wednesday nights. I am involved in an Easter cantata (singing soprano) that several area churches are organizing. I absolutely adore the music and am really enjoying learning the songs. (Chris Tomlin!!!! Yeah.)

I've been playing the piano every week in church (and starting to play the organ as well) to accompany the congregation. That has been a learning experience! I have wanted to play the congregational numbers for a long time, and it is a really amazing feeling to finally be able to (with varying degrees of success...but we won't go there). Currently I only play the chorus of the month, but I'd like to start playing the hymns as well.

What else is there to tell? I've gone to some political meetings and am back working at the Board of Elections every Thursday for a while. They have a project they needed help with that could not wait until summer, so I am attempting to work there one day a week and still keep my college classes afloat.

I hope that post suffices for now (AKA, are you happy now, ********?) I seriously will attempt to blog more often. Man, that's hard to say with a straight face. Fortunately, none of you can see my facial expressions, so you have no idea how insincere I am being. And Erika just walked in and said I "look horrible" so I guess that is one more reason to be glad you can't see me right now.

The End.

Wondering...

2010-01-18T09:00:00.003-05:00

Will someone please explain to me why I am getting tons of hits from people all over the country who are googling "Jessica Soapbox"?? Thanks!

EDIT: Mystery solved. Apparently everyone is looking for this and land on my blog in the process of searching. Here I thought I was suddenly amazingly popular (I'm getting roughly 30 hits per hour). Oh, well. It's nice to know what's going on...I was a little weirded out. Thanks for the tip, anon!

2010, really?

2010-01-07T17:36:00.013-05:00

Can you believe that it's a new year?! We're in a new decade, in fact. Wow.

Isn't it amazing how much can happen in one year? For example, I blogged 27 times. Impressive, right? That's more than twice per month, people.

*waits several moments for applause*

*gives up waiting*

So, what's in store for this year? Really, only God knows what will happen in the coming months, but I trust that this year will be filled with blessings for all of my readers. (I feel like I can finally talk as if I have readers since I now have reached a whopping twelve followers....)

Yesterday I posted my last paper from last semester. My apologies for any formatting issues...Microsoft Word and Blogger don't get along very well. In fact, I spent at least an hour editing the html of that post so that it would look readable. There are still some problems with the footnotes, but let me assure you that they are correctly formatted in the actual document (proper spacing and all!).

Anyhow, it is the argumentative research paper that I wrote for my Research and Writing class. Yes, the "dangerous" paper that I wrote about a while back. And while we are on that subject, I must announce to a particular reader (*cough*Erika*cough*) that I STILL HAVE THAT SCAR!!! Just FYI. ((See, it wasn't exaggerated.))

In that post I mentioned my nightmare wherein I had worried that I had ended my paper with the word with. That's why it was rather humorous when my professor commented that my last sentence was good. If only she knew...

So, now I finally have my class grades and cumulative GPA. I am satisfied but not thrilled (Yep, I wanted that elusive 4.0.) But God is good! He is so faithful and it was only by His grace and the encouragement of friends and family that I got through the first few rough days of college and had the stamina to finish.

You see, I did something that I would never recommend anyone try: from the time that I was accepted at PHC to the day that classes started, I focused on anything but college. Finishing high school wore me out and my summer was busy while I worked a full-time job. My last day of work was Friday, my friend's graduation party (in our yard) was Sunday, and college started on Monday. So, that Monday morning, I logged onto the student portal and started trying to navigate my classes for the first time.

Incredibly. Bad. Idea.

That is why my first week of college was one of the worst weeks in my life. I learned that I did not have all my books, and I was just scrambling to keep up. In fact, the entire semester I was barely on track due to my stupidity and carelessness at the beginning.

Why am I saying all of this? Because I have determined to do better this time. College officially starts next Wednesday (or Thursday, depending on who I ask) but I have already started getting ready. I hope to be completely organized, have all of my books (I have many of them, but a few are still in the mail), finish the preliminaries (PKATs, etc), and have started the reading before the first day of class.

I think what I've just written is very much along the same lines as something my good friend just posted. She wrote,

I must not hold back when God is clearing the path for me. I need to be watching for the opportunities He puts before me, and when He says 'go', I need to throw myself into it instead of asking "are You sure?"

(Can you believe I just quoted you on my blog, bestie? You're famous now!)

Anyhow, what she said rings so true to me. I think it is so important that we seize the opportunities that God has given us. My acceptance at PHC was, I feel, an open door that God gave me to increase in knowledge and broaden my horizons. Rather than continually questioning what I will do with a degree and where God wants me to be in the future, I ought to focus on making the most of this amazing opportunity.

Moving on...

Break has been wonderful. I'm afraid that I took the catching-up-on-sleep-thing to an absolute extreme. I am definitely not going into details (though I'm sure Erika would be happy to satisfy your curiosity...please don't ask her!!). Let me just say that I think I've slept enough now that I could be up for the next week....

Besides sleeping excessively, I've been hanging out with family (sleigh rides, Christmas caroling, sledding, making snow angels), spending time with friends (especially one friend who will be leaving soon for several months...sniff, sniff!), playing piano (I've started playing piano with the congregation now...what an experience!) and overall just loving life.

Oh yes, I should mention the one adverse affect that college has had on me: wisdom teeth. At least, I think they are starting to come in (which means I need to get them all out right away before they ruin 4 1/2 years of orthodontic work) and my mom said that since college is making me so smart, it only makes sense that my wisdom teeth would come in.... Very funny.

Yep, break was fantastic, but...Spring semester, here I come!

Carpe diem, folks!!

Is it Morally Acceptable to Discard Unwanted Frozen Human Embryos?

2010-01-07T15:12:00.008-05:00

Around the world, a debate is raging over the ethical and moral implications of scientific breakthroughs in the field of assisted reproductive technologies. At the center of the controversy is an organism so small that it can fit on the end of a pin: the frozen human embryo. [1] Suspended indefinitely in a place where time has stopped—frozen in vials in fertility clinics—hundreds of thousands of human embryos await implantation in a mother’s womb.[2] With storage space running low, many fertility clinics are left wondering what should be done with unclaimed and unwanted embryos. Discarding seems to be the easiest option, but some ethicists and scientists argue that destroying embryos is not morally acceptable because it takes the life of a human being.

The frozen human embryos in question are created using in vitro fertilization (IVF). IVF is a process that allows infertile couples to conceive. In a study on reproductive technologies, Jacques Cohen and Robert Lee Hotz write, “These new technologies usually are aimed at women who cannot carry their own child and at those numerous couples—an estimated 2.4 million married couples in the United States (U.S. Congress 1988:3)—who are infertile and cannot conceive unaided.”[3]

In the IVF process, eggs are harvested from the female which are then fertilized in a Petri dish. After five to six days of growth, having formed six cells, the embryos are in the blastocyst stage, and are ready to be implanted in the mother’s womb. Because the success rate for IVF is low, many embryos are created at once and some are cryogenically preserved, or frozen, for later use.[4] According to Andrea Bonnicksen, “During a woman’s initial IVF cycle, three or four of the embryos created are transferred to her uterus, while the rest are frozen for storage, to be thawed and transferred at a later date.”[5] If the first batch of implanted embryos is not successful, the frozen embryos are used.

Cryopreservation of human embryos is possible because the freezing temperature literally slows down time and stops the development of the embryo until it is thawed for use. Dr. Jerome Lejeune, a geneticist renowned for his discovery of the cause of Down’s syndrome,[6] explains: “But in the fundamental sense what we are doing by lowering down the temperature is stopping not totally but very deeply the movements of the atoms and molecule so…we have more or less arrested the flux of the time.”[7] Because the growth of human embryos is halted, they can be left frozen for an indefinite period of time.

The issue arises when the embryos go unclaimed, and clinics are left with the dilemma of determining their fate. The clinics mail out letters, asking the parents to determine an outcome for their embryos. In a study about the rationales behind opting to either donate or discard embryos, Sheryl de Lacey writes that the decisions are “extremely difficult and morally challenging.”[8]

The two options available for unwanted frozen human embryos are either donation (to another couple or to research) or discarding. According to researcher Sheryl de Lacey:

Once a woman and her partner have determined that further treatment is no longer possible or desirable, the decision about the fate of the frozen embryos typically involves selecting between options that commonly include discarding embryos, donating embryos to another couple (either anonymously or to a known recipient), or donating to research. [9]

A study of current trends in Australia shows that a significant number of couples do choose to discard their unwanted embryos: “In essence, 64.7% of the patients applied for an extension or used the embryos themselves in the 6 months between the reminder and the expiry date. Only 5.9% patients overall opted to donate embryos to others and the decision was not influenced by pregnancy. This compared with 18.8% of patients who chose to discard their embryos.”[10]

But is it morally acceptable to discard human embryos? The answer depends on one’s view of life. To a person who believes that life begins at conception, the embryo is a human life. Lejeune states unequivocally that the embryo is a human being: “But as a geneticist you ask me whether this human being is a human, and I would tell you that because he is a being and being human, he is a human being.”[11] Reproductive rights supporter Cheryl Meyer follows the implications of the belief that human life begins at conception: “If the embryo represents human life, this could become an insurmountable problem to medical research on, or even performance of, the IVF procedure. Theoretically, physicians could no longer conduct research using embryos or discard embryos, because to do so could be considered murder.”[12]

However, in a 1979 report by the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare that supported IVF and embryo transfer, the Ethics Advisory Board concluded that “the human embryo is entitled to profound respect; but this respect does not necessarily encompass the full legal and moral rights attributed to persons.”[13] Scott B. Rae and Paul M. Cox from the Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity disagree:

Embryos are persons, deserving of full human rights. They are not potential persons, a concept that itself is problematic. Either one is a person, or one is not a person. What one normally means by this imprecise use of that term is that the embryo (and fetus also) is a person with the potential to become a full-grown adult. It is better to say that the embryo is a “person with potential.”[14]

Those who consider destruction of human embryos to be morally acceptable often use the term pre-embryo rather than embryo. However, Lejeune considers the term a “meaningless neologism,” stating that “before the embryo there are only the egg and the sperm, and, inasmuch as no one of them has achieved fertilization, no new being exists. There is, therefore, no pre-embryo, since by definition the embryo is the youngest form of being.” [15]

The fact that the frozen embryo has the potential to lead a normal life is another consideration when determining whether it is acceptable to discard frozen human embryos. According to a study in Human Reproduction, there is no noticeable increase in defects in children born from frozen embryos compared to children conceived naturally:

A study of 91 children born after transfer of cryopreserved embryos and 83 children born after natural conception (Sutcliff et. al., 1995), showed no increase in the incidence of malformations, either minor or major. Nor was there any difference in later psycho-motor development between the two groups, as assessed using Griffiths’ quotient (Griffiths, 1976) (Table XII).[16]

If Lejeune is correct that destroying frozen embryos takes the life of a living human being, and if it is true that the embryo has the potential to lead a normal life, what should be done in the case of unwanted frozen embryos? Donating the embryos to another couple is an alternative to discarding that preserves the life of the embryo, but statistics show that the option is not preferred.[17] A shortcoming to the adoption solution is that donating an embryo is a complex emotional decision, one that many couples are not prepared to make. Rae and Cox state, “Even though donation does not involve discarding the leftover embryos, and is more ethically acceptable, it is very difficult to accept emotionally for many couples.”[18]

Ethicists Rae and Cox propose another possible solution to the unwanted frozen embryo dilemma. They write that the number of embryos that can be created at one time should be limited, for if the doctor limited the creation of embryos to the number that could be implanted at one time, cryopreservation would become unnecessary and difficult decisions about the fate of excess embryos would not have to be made. Rae and Cox write,

The most prudent course for couples to follow and for their physicians to encourage in these procedures is to avoid having leftover embryos as best they can….A couple can inform the clinic of their views concerning when personhood begins, and tell the clinic they do not want any leftover embryos after they are finished doing business there.…The number of eggs to be fertilized depends on the number of embryos the couple wants implanted. [19]

Limiting the number of embryos created to the amount that could be implanted at one time would dispel the need to cryogenically preserve embryos, but the solution would require effort and time to implement.

Clearly, the debate over the fate of unwanted frozen human embryos is not one that will find an easy solution. The issue is complex, with many moral and ethical implications. Donating to willing couples and limiting the number of created embryos are both viable alternatives to discarding which recognize the human life and potential in the embryo. The implications of a decision on the fate of the embryos are far-ranging and will affect thousands of frozen human embryos, so it is important that all options be considered carefully. An understanding of the sacredness of human life will be necessary as scientific research moves forward and new discoveries with moral implications are made in the field of reproductive technologies.

Bibliography

Bonnicksen, Andrea. “Embryo Freezing: Ethical Issues in the Clinical Setting.” The Hastings Center Report, 1988.

Brinsden, Peter R., ed. A Textbook of In Vitro Fertilization and Assisted Reproduction: The Bourn Hall Guide to Clinical and Laboratory Practice. New York: The Parthenon Publishing Group Inc., 1999.

Cohen, Jacques and Robert Lee Hotz. “Toward Policies Regarding Assisted Reproductive Technologies.” In Emerging Issues in Biomedical Policy 1, ed. Robert H. Blank and Andrea Bonnicksen, 225-237. New York: Columbia University Press, 1992. http://www.netlibrary.com.ezproxy.phc.edu/Reader/ (accessed September 25, 2009).

Darlington, Neroli and Phillip Matson. “The Fate of Cryopreserved Human Embryos Approaching their Legal Limit of Storage within a West Australian In-Vitro Fertilization Clinic.” Human Reproduction 14, no. 9 (1999): 2343-2344, http://cli.gs/6LmWgY (accessed September 25, 2009).

de Lacey, Sheryl. “Decisions for the fate of frozen embryos: Fresh insights into patients' thinking and their rationales for donating or discarding embryos.” Human Reproduction 22, no. 6 (June 2007): 1751-1758, http://cli.gs/6H3m2b/ (accessed September 25, 2009).

Department of Health, Education, and Welfare Ethics Advisory Board. Report and Conclusions: HEW Support of Research Involving Human In Vitro Fertilization and Embryo Transfer. 1979. http://www.bioethics.gov/reports/past_commissions/HEW_IVF_report.pdf (accessed October 27, 2009).

Lejeune, Jerome. The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992.

Ludwig, M., S.Al-Hasani, R.Felberbaum and K.Diedrich. “New aspects of cryopreservation of oocytes and embryos in assisted reproduction and future perspectives.” Human Reproduction 14 (1999): 162-185, http://cli.gs/ZgnrvZ (accessed September 25, 2009).

Meyer, Cheryl L. The Wandering Uterus: Politics and the Reproductive Rights of Women. New York: New York University Press, 1997.

Rae, Scott B. and Paul M. Cox. Bioethics: A Christian Approach in a Pluralistic Age. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1999.

[1] Peter R. Brinsden, ed., A Textbook of In Vitro Fertilization and Assisted Reproduction: The Bourn Hall Guide to Clinical and Laboratory Practice (New York: The Parthenon Publishing Group Inc., 1999), 105.

[2] David Hoffman, Gail Zellman, Christine Fair, Jacob Mayer, Joyce Zeitz, William Gibbons, and Thomas Turner, Jr., “Cryopreserved embryos in the United States and their availability for research,” abstract, in Fertility and Sterility 79 Issue 5, (May 2003), http://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282%2803%2900172-9/abstract (accessed October 18, 2009).

[3] Jacques Cohen and Robert Lee Hotz, “Toward Policies Regarding Assisted Reproductive Technologies,” in Emerging Issues in Biomedical Policy 1, ed. Robert H. Blank and Andrea Bonnicksen (New York: Columbia University Press, 1992), 225.

[4] Ibid, 232.

[5] Andrea L. Bonnicksen, “Embryo Freezing: Ethical Issues in the Clinical Setting.” The Hastings Center Report (1988): 26.

[6] Jerome Lejeune, The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992), 22.

[7] Ibid., 36.

[8] Sheryl de Lacey, “Decisions for the Fate of Frozen Embryos: Fresh Insights into Patients’ Thinking and their Rationales for Donating or Discarding Embryos,” Human Reproduction 22, no. 6 (2007), 1751, http://cli.gs/6H3m2b/ (accessed October 4, 2009).

[9] Ibid.

[10] Neroli Darlington and Phillip Matson, “The Fate of Cryopreserved Embryos Approaching their Legal Limit of Storage within a West Australian In-vitro Fertilization Clinic,” Human Reproduction 14 no.9 (1999): 2343.

[11] Jerome Lejeune, The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992), 72.

[12] Cheryl L. Meyer, The Wandering Uterus: Politics and the Reproductive Rights of Women (New York: New York University Press, 1997), 64.

[13] Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, Ethics Advisory Board, Report and Conclusions: HEW Support of Research Involving Human In Vitro Fertilization and Embryo Transfer, 1979, http://www.bioethics.gov/ reports/past_commissions/HEW_IVF_report.pdf (accessed October 27, 2009), 101.

[14] Scott B. Rae and Paul M. Cox, Bioethics: A Christian Approach in a Pluralistic Age, (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1999), 183.

[15] Jerome Lejeune, The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992), 11.

[16] Ludwig, M., S.Al-Hasani, R.Felberbaum and K.Diedrich. “New aspects of cryopreservation of oocytes and embryos in assisted reproduction and future perspectives.” Human Reproduction 14 (1999): 162-185, http://cli.gs/ZgnrvZ (accessed September 25, 2009).

[17] Neroli Darlington and Phillip Matson, “The Fate of Cryopreserved Embryos Approaching their Legal Limit of Storage within a West Australian In-vitro Fertilization Clinic,” Human Reproduction 14 no.9 (1999): 2343.

[18] Scott B. Rae and Paul M. Cox, Bioethics: A Christian Approach in a Pluralistic Age, (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1999), 185.

[19] Ibid.

So.

2009-12-29T18:31:00.005-05:00

I have just posted my Theological Term paper. I received it back from my professor today and was pleased (okay, thrilled) with my grade. If you've ever wanted to know what a ten-page paper looks like on blogger, take a look! And please comment and give feedback. Don't worry about offending me; believe me, this paper has been ripped to shreds before (constructive criticism, you know).

Just a quick update: I am alive, I am loving break, had my braces removed last week (pictures here), went on a harrowing shopping trip with Katrina, had a marvelous Christmas, turned 19 yesterday (I suppose I need to update my sidebar!), and am actually starting to look forward to college again. I definitely needed a break, though!

All right, I'm off to post on Erika's blog!

Theological Term Paper: The Importance of the Doctrine of the Trinity

2009-12-29T18:04:00.007-05:00

Contents

The Importance of the Doctrine of the Trinity

I. Introduction

II. Explanation of the Doctrine of the Trinity

A. There is One God

B. God Eternally Exists as Three Persons

C. Incomprehensibility of the Doctrine of the Trinity

III. The Necessity of the Correct View

A. The Doctrine of the Trinity is Central to Christianity and the Plan of Redemption

B. The Importance of the Doctrine of the Trinity in Guarding Against Heresy

1. Arianism (Jehovah’s Witnesses)

2. Dynamic Monarchianism (The Way, International)

3. Modalism (Oneness Pentecostals)

IV. Application

A. We Should Study

B. We Should Ask God for Wisdom to Understand

C. We Should Be Able to Defend Our Belief in the Doctrine of the Trinity

V. Conclusion

VI. Bibliography

The Importance of the Doctrine of the Trinity

1. Introduction

To many Christians, the doctrine of the Trinity is an abstract and confusing concept, a belief that is held without much thought and rarely considered. Many of us were taught the doctrine of the Trinity as children, and we accepted it without question. Since that point, we have essentially ignored the topic. In church, we sing “God in three persons, Blessed trinity,”[1] but perhaps we don’t even consider the words. If asked, we would no doubt instantly affirm our belief in the doctrine of the Trinity, but upon further probing, we might realize that we cannot give an acceptable rationalization of our belief. And although the Trinity is certainly mentioned from the pulpit, it is not necessarily expounded upon or defended. Because we don’t consider the doctrine of the Trinity to be a concept that affects our lives significantly, we therefore largely ignore it.

The lack of emphasis on the doctrine of the Trinity is unfortunate, because the doctrine is crucial to Christianity. As Wayne Grudem wrote in Systematic Theology, “This teaching has implications for the very heart of the Christian faith.”[2] For if we deny the doctrine of the Trinity, we raise doubt about the divinity of Christ, which in turn leads to questions regarding the sufficiency of His substitutionary atonement. In fact, the Athenasian Creed went as far as to say that the proper view of God, “the Unity in Trinity, and the Trinity in Unity,” was “necessary to everlasting salvation.”[3] The purpose of this paper, then, is to explain the orthodox view of the doctrine of the Trinity, and to show why this belief is crucial to the Christian faith.

II. Explanation of the Doctrine of the Trinity

Stated simply, the orthodox view of God recognizes one God in three equal but distinct Persons. The Nicene Creed declared, “One God in Trinity, and Trinity in Unity”;[4] that is, Christians worship only one God, but He consists of three Persons: God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ), and God the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19). Although the Bible never uses the term Trinity, and the doctrine cannot be proven from one particular verse of Scripture,[5] a systematic study of the Bible reveals that the doctrine of the Trinity is implicit. We will look at the doctrine of the Trinity in two parts: first, there is one God; second, God “eternally exists as three persons.”[6]

A. There is One God

First, let us look at the part of the doctrine of the Trinity which states that there is one God. In both the Old and New Testaments, the Bible is entirely clear on the point that there is only one God. Deuteronomy 6:4 states unequivocally, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord.” The same concept is repeated in the New Testament in James 2:19: “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well…” (cf. 1 Tim. 2:5).

Christianity has always been monotheistic, and stands in stark contrast to the numerous polytheistic religions. 1 Corinthians 8:5 notes that in the world “there be gods many, and lords many” but for Christians “there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things…” (1 Corinthians 8:6).

B. God Eternally Exists as Three Persons

Next, we should consider the second half of the doctrine of the Trinity—that there are three equal Persons in the Godhead. The Bible never explicitly states that God is triune; thus, we must compare many texts of Scripture to ascertain that God is three Persons, but we will eventually conclude that both the Old and New Testaments support the position.

Some claim that the doctrine of the Trinity is not alluded to in the Old Testament, however, as Grudem pointed out, Genesis 1:26 implies the plurality of the Godhead.[7] In that verse, God says, “Let us make man in our image [emphasis mine].” God could not have been speaking to angels, because the very next verse says that man was created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), not in the image of angels. Therefore, the use of the plural we and our implies that God is a plurality (cf. John 1:1).

A more complete revelation of the nature of the Trinity is given in the New Testament. In the story of Jesus’ baptism, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are mentioned together: Jesus is baptized, the Holy Spirit descends upon Him, and God the Father speaks from heaven (Matthew 3:16-17). In 1 John 5:7, all three Persons (“the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost”) are mentioned together.

Some who do not understand the doctrine of the Trinity have alleged that Christians believe in tritheism, or three gods, but that is not the case. The confusion may result from the usage of the word persons in describing the Trinity, but that word does only an imperfect job of communicating the nature of the Triune Godhead. As Augustus Hopkins Strong emphasized in Systematic Theology, “The word ‘person’ is only the imperfect and inadequate expression of a fact that transcends our experience and comprehension.”[8]

C. Incomprehensibility of the Doctrine of the Trinity

One final point needs to be made in explaining the doctrine of the Trinity—that the Trinity is incomprehensible. Strong called the doctrine of the Trinity “inscrutable yet not self-contradictory.”[9] None of us can ever hope to completely understand the doctrine; it is above human reason. A. W. Tozer wrote, “Our sincerest effort to grasp the incomprehensible mystery of the Trinity must remain forever futile, and only by deepest reverence can it be saved from actual presumption.” [10]

One anti-Trinitarian religious group argues that because the doctrine of the Trinity is incomprehensible, it must not be true. They assert that “divine revelation itself does not allow for such a view of God: ‘God is not a God of confusion.’” (1 Corinthians 14:33). Therefore, they claim that the doctrine of the Trinity cannot be correct, as it is confusing.[11] However, the Bible teaches that God’s ways are above our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9), so we should not presume to fully understand any one doctrine or attribute of God. Grudem wrote, “We can never fully understand any single thing about God,”[12] and this includes the mystery of the Trinity.

We must content ourselves with knowing what God has revealed to us about Himself, realizing that what God has told us about Himself in Scripture is limited and will not always make sense to our finite intellects. We must accept the doctrine of the Trinity on faith, believing that God is perfectly capable of being Three in One, even if that doesn’t make sense to us. We ought to have faith like that spoken of in Hebrews 11:1; faith in what we do not understand or see.

III. The Necessity of the Correct View

Now that we have considered what is meant by the doctrine of the Trinity, it is necessary to discover why the doctrine is so crucial to Christianity. I argue that a belief in the orthodox view of the doctrine of the Trinity is necessary in forming a correct view of salvation. Additionally, the doctrine of the Trinity is crucial in order to guard against heresies that would question everything from the deity of Christ to justification by faith in Christ alone.

A. The Doctrine of the Trinity is Central to Christianity and the Plan of Redemption

Denying the doctrine of the Trinity leaves open the dangerous possibility that Jesus was not God, which in turn casts doubt on whether Jesus’ death on the cross was truly sufficient to pay the penalty for sin. Grudem noted, “If Jesus is merely a created being, and not fully God, then it is hard to see how he, a creature, could bear the full wrath of God against all of our sins. Could any creature, no matter how great, really save us?”[13]

The very heart of the Gospel message is that only a perfect sacrifice, the sinless Lamb of God, could take away the sins of the world (John 1:29). Hebrews 10:4 states, “For it is not possible that the blood of bulls and of goats should take away sin.” For this reason, it was necessary that we be redeemed “with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot” (1 Peter 1:19). Because no man is righteous (Romans 3:10), it follows that only God, as Jesus Christ, could be the sacrifice for the propitiation of our sins. If Jesus were not God, how would this be possible?

Hebrews chapter 9 is a passage of Scripture that links the gospel to the deity of Christ and the doctrine of the Trinity. The chapter speaks of the testament, or covenant, which is between God and man (Hebrews 8:10). The writer of Hebrews states that “where a testament is, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator.” (Hebrews 9:16) In order for God’s covenant to be valid, God (as Jesus Christ) had to die. It is clear, then, that Jesus is God, for God was the testator. Furthermore, the fact that Jesus is God provides support for the doctrine of the Trinity, as it proves that God consists of at least two Persons. Thus, the redemptive plan and the doctrine of the Trinity are closely linked.

B. The Importance of the Doctrine of the Trinity in Guarding Against Heresy

Not only is a belief in the doctrine of the Trinity integral to forming a correct view of God’s redemptive plan, it is also crucial in guarding against heresies about the nature of God. Many heresies have originated from the lack of a proper understanding of the Bible’s teachings regarding the doctrine of the Trinity. Heresies opposed to the doctrine of the Trinity include Arianism, Modalism, and Dynamic Monarchianism. These three views are held, respectively, by Jehovah’s Witnesses, Oneness Pentecostals, and those involved in The Way, International.

An inquiry into the doctrines of these religious groups reveals that they hold erroneous views, not only of the Trinity, but also of the plan of salvation. I believe that there is a marked correlation between a denial of the Trinity and a false view of the Gospel. When the doctrine of the Trinity is abandoned, the deity of Christ becomes questionable, and His sacrifice on the cross is no longer viewed as sufficient to pay the penalty for sin. It follows then, that this belief in Christ’s insufficiency would lead to adding human efforts as a requirement for salvation. The Jehovah’s Witnesses, Oneness Pentecostals, and adherents to The Way, International demonstrate this link. All three groups deny the orthodox view of the Trinity, and add requirements to the Gospel.

1. Arianism (Jehovah’s Witnesses)

The Jehovah’s Witnesses hold to a doctrinal view of God known as Arianism. Arianism was originated by Arius, who taught that “God the Son was at one point created by God the Father, and that before that time the Son did not exist, nor did the Holy Spirit, but the Father only.”[14] Many Scripture passages show that this view is erroneous. Grudem pointed out that one passage that could be given as evidence that Jesus is eternal, not created, is Revelation 22:13, where Jesus states, “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.”[15] (cf. John 1:1). On Arianism, Strong concluded, “It is evident that the theory of Arius does not satisfy the demands of Scripture….the Scriptures speak of Christ as being in the beginning God, with God, and equal with God.”[16]

Jehovah’s Witnesses also err in their view of salvation, teaching that salvation is attained through doing good works, rather than by grace through faith in Christ alone (Ephesians 2:8-9).[17] I believe both errors (Arianism and works salvation) are a direct result of denying the doctrine of the Trinity.

2. Dynamic Monarchianism (The Way, International)

Another group with heretical teachings on the Trinity is known as The Way, International. The church’s founder, Victor Paul Wierwille, detailed his positions in a book with a revealing title: Jesus Christ is Not God. His viewpoint is known as Dynamic Monarchianism, which “teaches that God is the Father and that Jesus is only a man, [denies] the personal subsistence of the Logos and [teaches] that the Holy Spirit [is] a force or presence of God the Father.”[18]

In his explanation of Wierwille’s positions, James Walker wrote, “Rather than emphasizing salvation through faith in Christ, Wierwille artificially separated ‘faith’ from ‘believing.’ He taught a very mechanical view of faith in Christ - a mere intellectual or mental assent to biblical, historical facts. He also redefined repentance as just confession and belief. Thus, salvation does not involve repentance of sins but only doing ‘the will of God.’”[19] Thus, the correlation between abandonment of the true doctrine of the Trinity and unbiblical teachings on salvation is evidenced in the group called The Way, International.

3. Modalism (Oneness Pentecostals)

Oneness Pentecostals also espouse an erroneous view of the Trinity. The Oneness Pentecostal view of God, known as modalism, is a serious departure from the Scripture. Modalists believe that God is one Person who is seen in different manifestations or modes at different points in history; and God is not all three Persons at once.[20] This viewpoint contradicts the picture of the Trinity seen during the baptism of Jesus (Matthew 3:16-17). As Grudem pointed out, the main problem with modalism is that it “must deny the personal relationships within the Trinity that appear in so many places in Scripture…”[21]

Just as the previous groups mentioned, Oneness Pentecostals add to the Gospel of Christ. They teach that speaking in tongues and baptism in Jesus’ name are both necessary for salvation, neither of which is taught in the Scriptures. [22]

The views held by Jehovah’s Witnesses, Oneness Pentecostals, and those involved in The Way, International demonstrate the serious errors that can arise when the orthodox view of the Trinity is abandoned. I believe that the false doctrines the groups taught could have been avoided by the recognition of the orthodox view of the doctrine of the Trinity.

IV. Application

Upon the realization of the importance of the doctrine of the Trinity, we Christians should be moved to action. We should study the Bible specifically on the Trinity topic, pray for wisdom and understanding, and be prepared to defend this vital doctrine. Each must each do his part to guard against the heresies that arise when the doctrine of the Trinity is abandoned.

A. We Should Study

Christians should study the Bible with earnestness to discover for themselves the truth of the doctrine of the Trinity. We must follow the command given in II Timothy 2:15, which states, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (cf. Acts 17:11) We can never learn too much about our awesome God and the mystery of the Trinity. The more we learn, the more grounded we will become in the Word of God and the more steadfast our faith will become in the correct view of the Godhead.

B. We Should Ask God for Wisdom to Understand

We should also pray that we would understand what we read in the Scriptures. The doctrine of the Trinity is a complex concept, and we must ask God to show us the truth. Though we must accept the fact that we can’t completely understand the doctrine of the Trinity, we should still ask God for wisdom. James 1:5 states, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally….”

C. We Should Be Able to Defend Our Belief in the Doctrine of the Trinity

It is probable that at one point in a Christian’s life, he will be subjected to questions or doubt about the doctrine of the Trinity. By becoming well-grounded in the biblical doctrine of the Trinity, he can allay all doubt and convince any anti-Trinitarians of the truth of God’s Word. Knowledge of the importance of the doctrine of the Trinity will lead to a desire to communicate the truth to others.

V. Conclusion

Clearly, the doctrine of the Trinity is vital to biblical Christianity. Denying the orthodox doctrine of the Trinity can lead to dangerous heresies about the nature of the plan of salvation. But Christians who believe in the Trinity will have peaceful assurance about their salvation, as they rest in the knowledge that Jesus, being fully God, was completely sufficient to pay the penalty for their sins. By diligently studying God’s Word to ascertain its teaching on the doctrine of the Trinity, we can avoid many doctrinal errors. And as we study the Trinity, we will grow more in awe of God and the marvelous mystery of the Trinity in Unity.

Bibliography

Athenasian Creed. http://www.apostle.org/pages/athenasian_creed.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

Barker, Jason. “Watchman Fellowship Profile: Oneness Pentecostalism.” Watchman Expositor Vol. 16, No. 3, (1999). http://www.watchman.org/profile/onenesspro.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry. “Monarchianism.” http://www.carm.org/monarchianism (accessed November 20, 2009).

Erdmann, Martin. “Theology of the Bible 1 Lecture: The Doctrine of the Trinity.” Theology 1. Patrick Henry College, Fall 2009.

Grudem, Wayne. Systematic Theology. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994.

Heber, Reginald. “Holy, Holy, Holy.” (1826).

Nicene Creed. http://www.creeds.net/ancient/nicene.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

Strong, Augustus Hopkins. Systematic Theology. Rochester, New York: Press of E. R. Andrews, 1886.

Tozer, A. W. The Knowledge of the Holy. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1961.

Walker, James. “Jehovah's Witnesses: Salvation Through Works.” Watchman Expositor Vol. 8 No. 1 (1991). http://www.watchman.org/jw/worksjw.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

------------. “Watchman Fellowship Profile: The Way, International.” (1996). http://www.watchman.org/profile/waypro.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society. “Should You Believe in the Trinity?” Brooklyn, New York: Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society, 1989.

[1] Reginald Heber, “Holy, Holy, Holy” (1826).

[2] Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994), 247.

[3] Athenasian Creed, http://www.apostle.org/pages/athenasian_creed.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

[4] Nicene Creed, http://www.creeds.net/ancient/nicene.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

[5] Martin Erdmann, “Theology of the Bible 1 Lecture: The Doctrine of the Trinity”, Theology 1, Patrick Henry College, Fall 2009, 2.

[6] Grudem, 226.

[7] Grudem, 227.

[8] Augustus Hopkins Strong, Systematic Theology (Rochester, New York: Press of E. R. Andrews, 1886), 160.

[9] Strong, 144.

[10] A. W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1961), 17.

[11] Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society, “Should You Believe in the Trinity?” (Brooklyn, New York: Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society, 1989), 3.

[12] Grudem, 150.

[13] Grudem, 247.

[14] Grudem, 243.

[15] Ibid.

[16] Strong, 159.

[17] James Walker, “Jehovah's Witnesses: Salvation Through Works.” Watchman Expositor Vol. 8 No. 1 (1991), http://www.watchman.org/jw/worksjw.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

[18] Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry, “Monarchianism.” http://www.carm.org/monarchianism (accessed November 20, 2009).

[19]James Walker, “Watchman Fellowship Profile: The Way, International.” (1996), http://www.watchman.org/profile/waypro.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

[20] Grudem, 242.

[21] Ibid.

[22] Jason Barker, “Watchman Fellowship Profile: Oneness Pentecostalism.” Watchman Expositor Vol. 16, No. 3, (1999), http://www.watchman.org/profile/onenesspro.htm (accessed November 20, 2009).

In Which I Write Like a Hysterical, Relieved College Student

2009-12-17T10:40:00.012-05:00

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I had to get that out....

See that smile on my face? ^^^^ Josh drew that picture of me, and I think he captured my feelings quite well. :)

This post will probably be sickeningly exuberant with an excessive number of exclamation points because I'm currently floating in a state of delirious happiness. First semester down!!! I took the last final last night, and now I have 28 days free. (Yep, I counted them.)

Life is fantastic and God is amazing!!! Not only am I done with college for the semester (have I mentioned that yet?), but my braces are coming off next Monday (December 21st), I will be 19 the week after that, and I am majorly thrilled about my plans for break.

What are my plans for break? Well, basically, I plan on being a complete slob. Just kidding...I have a long list of things that I've been unable to do all semester. It's the simple things that I miss, like...

cleaning my room (it has gotten pretty bad lately...piles of projects that I need to work on and haven't had time)

-sleeping

-emailing friends back

-writing letters

-Christmas things, like the newsletter, buying presents, and more

-blogging

-writing in my journal

-talking to friends and family without watching the clock and keeping college assignments constantly in the back of my brain (It's true that I've been home since I do distance learning, but having assignments has meant that I've had to shut myself into my room [even when friends are here] and do school.)

Actually, it's a rather surreal feeling to have no assignments pressing on my brain. It's amazing.

But, I think my family is more relieved than I am...if that's possible. Why?

1) My mom has a list for me to do over break. And she's probably happy that I will stop completely forgetting to do the dishes!
2) My family will not have to listen to my incessant talk about college.
3) And Erika will no longer have to sit with me at late hours, performing the role of "study partner."

Oh, yes. This is where I tell the hilarious story about last night's frantic studying. At least I found it funny. I wasn't too concerned about the Theology Final, since the Theology Exams up to that point had been incredibly easy, but then I started hearing scores from the amazing geniuses in the class and panicked. Based on the numbers I was hearing, I was scared that I would completely bomb the test. So, I read through all the lectures and wrote 16 pages of notes to study. And who did I pick to help me cram my notes into my brain?? Yep, Erika. I bribed her with hot cider (I have a stash of hot cider in my room that only a privileged few can have!!) to stay up until 11 with me, reading my notes and quizzing me on them.

What was so funny was her pronunciation of the words. I admit, my handwriting was pretty bad, but she had never heard of most of the terms and was pronouncing everything completely phonetically. It was completely understandable (there were words like Patripassianism, anthropomorphisms, etc.) until we got to the definition of omnipotent, and she read it "om' ny po' tent *blink blink* Oh, omnipotent!" ...I burst out laughing, because she knows that word.

It was great. I love PHC. I'm glad to be done. That's about all I have in my head right now.

I've learned so much this semester which should prove useful next semester. I have learned those little details about how distance learning works and have some ideas about the standards of the professors. Next semester should be slightly easier, as I'm taking 12 credits instead of 13.

Today I'm cleaning, catching up on things, and loving life. Can life get better? I think not.

(Erika says this is a hyperactive blog post, which sounds a lot like me right now. So, I think I'll post it.)

9 Days!

2009-12-07T00:38:00.002-05:00

But who's counting?

Oh, wait. I am.

Nine days until what? you might ask. Good question. You might also ask why I am writing in choppy sentences. That would also be a good question.

Anyhow. There are only nine days left until I will be done with my first semester at PHC. I am ridiculously excited! I finished the last two essays on Friday and now have only one more week of studies and then final exams. I'm seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Or would that be, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel? I don't know (or care, at this point!).

It's 12:45 AM, which incidentally might not be the best blogging time for me. But I'm currently caught up enough in studies to justify typing this out.

About those essays...I know I said I would publish them, but let's just say that they will not be seeing the light of day for a long time. And if I ever publish them, it will be as a joke! Sometimes I really dislike my writing. Like right now. I am not exceptionally proud of the two essays I wrote this week. But I still plan on posting the Theology paper and Research and Writing paper.

Hmm, anything else of note? Tomorrow (or actually, today) I get my lower retainer (for you non-braces people, that's part of the orthodontic procedure), which means I'm starting to see the light at the end of THAT tunnel as well. I was starting to despair of ever getting my braces off!

All right, this is all for now! I hope to post more often now that college is almost done.

I love ellipses, apparently.

2009-11-27T18:33:00.007-05:00

Looking down through the titles of my last posts, I've noticed a pattern. So, the title of this post is going against the norm and challenging tradition by being completely ellipsis-free!

It has been almost a week since I blogged last (not counting the little post I just published), so I figure it's time for an update. Mainly because a certain someone is going to get back to college and internet access soon, and she'll be checking my blog (I'm sure it's the first thing she'll do, even before email and facebook! Well, maybe not before facebook. But you get the idea.)

Someone needs to get out their little violin and play "My Heart Bleeds for You" because I'm having a pity party in my room. Not really! I came down with some bug--I think it's just a normal cold, but with some of the comments I've heard lately, I almost thought about going to the hospital!!--and I have been shunned from social activities. So instead of playing Uno and such, I'm sitting here writing discussion board posts for college. And blogging.

But on the bright side, I'm feeling much better than I did yesterday! The past two days I've had a fever. Not a high one, just high enough to make me dizzy, disoriented, and confused. (YES, that is unusual. Thanks for asking.) I didn't want to get anyone sick, so when the relatives came over for Thanksgiving dinner, I quarantined myself in my room and ate whatever my waitress (AKA my amazing mother) brought me while reading Luther's treatises. It was a unique combination. Unfortunately I don't remember much of what I read because I kept falling asleep. How annoying.

Speaking of fevers, we have quite the thermometer saga in this house. You see, *someone* in our house is a hypochondriac. I will not mention names. A while back, the aforesaid hypochondriac was certain she had a fever, and thus took her temperature. *Without* shaking the thermometer down first. So it still said 103 degrees (from--I think--the last time I was feverish)...and yet she wasn't sick. I still laugh about that one. But she has the last laugh, because I am completely incapable of reading a thermometer. I have tried and tried, and I can NEVER see the line of mercury. At all. I always give it to the aforementioned sister and she reads it. If I ever have kids, I will have to get the kind of thermometer with a digital readout, or else I will have to take them to their aunt's house whenever they are sick. Actually, I like that last idea. Hmmm....

Wow, I'm rambling. As long as I'm in a random mood, I'm going to write things without bothering to transition from one paragraph to the next!

I'm listening to some awesome music. I recently discovered the album "Where Strength Begins" by Phillips, Craig & Dean and basically fell in love with it. (Yes, my dear Tennessee reader, I put that phrase in just for you!) My sisters somehow aren't as thrilled. I'm not sure if it's the perpetual loop that I put that CD on, the volume, or the songs themselves. They nod appreciatively when I tell them I've found "a new favorite song," allow me to subject their eardrums to the latest and greatest, and then escape when I'm not watching.

I'm just glad my computer is allowing me to type tonight. Sometimes it gets so slow that I will type something, leave, and come back a few minutes later only to see that "I" am still typing. One agonizing letter at a time.

My computer died. But it was worth it, because when I turned it back on, Firefox informed me that it had lost my pages and gave me my favorite message: "Well, this is embarrassing." I LOVE that. So creative. It makes the frustration of re-opening tabs worthwhile.

But Skype is a different story. I hate the sound that plays when it starts up. It sounds like a bunch of people inhaling together, preparing for a blood-curdling scream. Always makes me jump.

Okay, I will stop now. I love writing disjointedly. I have two essays due next Friday, so I will not be blogging until after that. Sayonara! (No, I don't know Japanese; I just thought it sounded cool.)

This sums up my life lately...

2009-11-27T18:33:00.000-05:00

My logic homework has started to remind me of doing proofs in geometry (felt like writing "QED" at the end of one of the problems!), and anything that reminds me of math in any way is bad news! So the above picture adequately depicts my experiences with Logic. :)

On the dangers of essay writing....

2009-11-21T10:13:00.006-05:00

Dangers? Yes.

As you may have inferred from my last post, this week has consisted almost entirely of writing papers. I smile when I think of the time it took me to write the health care paper (part of my application to Patrick Henry College). It was a 7-page paper, and yet it took me at least a month--maybe more. How did I suddenly learn to write a ten-page theological term paper in three days? One word: deadlines.

Deadlines are an absolute necessity for me. They force me to write when I don't feel like it, and also turn me into a raving lunatic. Well, not quite, but you don't want to hear some of the bizarre things I've said in the midst of a paper-writing brain fog (Erika just gives me this "look" and I know that once again, I am not making any sense and should either go to bed or write some more--and I unfortunately must pick the latter).

But where does the dangerous part come in? It comes from being entirely focused on writing, to the extent that everything else is blocked out. For example, I have a small electric heater in my room (I love it--it keeps me from growing icicles) and every time I would get up from my computer, I would trip over it. Embarrassing. And how did I literally not hear three girls practicing violins just a short distance away?

And I haven't even mentioned my battle scars yet! (Be very alarmed.) Actually, no, I think I will keep the origin of the scar next to my left eye a closely-guarded secret. Just know that my computer monitor has sharp edges, which my mom has threatened to put padding on (to kid-proof my room. When I get older and smarter she will take them off.)

So yesterday was the deadline for both my Theological Term Paper and my Research and Writing Argumentative Essay. <---- That is the stuff of nightmares. No, really. Last night, after submitting both essays, I had horrible nightmares about italics and footnotes. I kept waking up panicking, wondering if I really had ended my paper with the word with. I almost turned on my computer to check, but then decided that even if it were true that I had...

1) Left notes to myself in my essay (Such as "expand more here")
2) Forgotten to italicize book titles in my footnotes
3) Written a paragraph entirely about myself (what?!)
4) Used the word I throughout the essay (a major no-no)

...it was too late to change anything anyhow! Although one of the first things I did this morning was look at my conclusion to see how I ended it. I was paranoid.

A blog reader mentioned that by now I must be a coffee drinker, but I actually am not. I probably would drink coffee if we had it around the house, but maybe I prefer the bleary-eyed, physically-and-mentally-exhausted look! (I don't....)

So...that's the story of my last week. It sounds rather depressing reading about it, so I should add that college life is not all bad! I do enjoy learning (sometimes!) and I have met some awesome classmates from whom I have learned so much. Their diligence and academic achievements constantly push me to keep going and strive for higher goals. (It's hard going from homeschooling with no one in your grade level to classes with so many people who are ridiculously smart....keeps me humble.)

That's it for now! I'll try to post again next week. Possibly.

[Note: I had originally planned to post both papers now, but I've decided to wait until I get grades and comments back. Shouldn't be too long!]

An attempt to excuse my lack of blogishness...

2009-11-17T08:29:00.002-05:00

Okay, so lately I have been receiving cryptic messages; messages of indeterminable meaning, such as this one:

[D]ear Jessica,
Please blog[.]
Love,
[name removed to protect the guilty]

However, after a serious study of the aforementioned notes, which included outlining them, finding key words and phrases, looking the larger words up in the dictionary, reading backwards, and reading between the lines, I have come to the conclusion that I need to eat chocolate!! No, wait, that was the first hypothesis. The final conclusion was that I needed to go to www.blogger.com, enter some log in information, and click "Create Post."

So, I did.

Now that I am here, all that I can think of is the necessity of doing a bunch of other things...chiefly, writing the two papers that are due on Friday (note: one of them is nearly done, the other is started). Unlike some people who have the luxury of Thanksgiving break, I have four papers due in the next exactly two weeks.

What does this mean? It means that I will be getting very little sleep, writing and revising, and in my spare time, I will be completing all the other college work (reading textbooks, writing discussion board posts, taking exams, etc). And it means that I can't justify sitting here and writing a post about my life. Sorry! I'd love to write a creative update-ish post. Really, I would. That's something that I will try to do after this semester ends (if it ever does).

On a positive note, it also means that I will have four blog posts in the next couple of weeks...and you know how much you love reading my academic writings! (Hint: nod vigorously)

Prayers are greatly appreciated for my sanity and for clearness and cogency in my writing!

Taking a deep breath...

2009-11-09T11:00:00.000-05:00

This is just a quick update to say:

1) I am still alive.
2) I have not forgotten my blog.

The essay that I just posted below is the product of a couple late nights and early mornings. It was crammed in between a bunch of other things, and a good deal of it was written in my hotel room in Cincinnati. So...it is what it is. Not the greatest, but it had to be submitted!

The last couple weeks were absolutely insane, but I'm finally caught up and able to take a breath! I may post later about my life, including the conference in Ohio (or not, you know how I am about blogging), especially if I can find videos or pictures.

Transcendentalism: Compatible with Christianity?

2009-11-09T10:51:00.003-05:00

Transcendentalism, a philosophy that became popular in the 1830s, has permeated thinking and influenced beliefs throughout the world. Transcendentalists believe in the perfectibility of human nature, and believe that they can “transcend” above animalistic inclinations. Rejecting the traditional view of the God of the Bible, transcendentalists believe that God is immanent in everything, and that humans are, as transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson put it, “part or particle of God.” [1] Although transcendentalism may seem to be the antithesis of Christianity, some transcendentalist ideas are in agreement with biblical teachings.

Henry David Thoreau was one of the most prominent transcendentalists. In his book, Walden; Or Life in the Woods, Thoreau emphasized individualism, self-reliance, and a life of simplicity—all fundamental transcendentalist ideas. Thoreau wrote, “Let us settle ourselves, and work and wedge our feet downwards through the mud and slush of opinion…till we come to a hard bottom and rocks in place, which we can call reality, and say, This is, and no mistake….” [2] These words express the heart of the Transcendentalist Movement: an intense longing for truth, reality, and perfection. An analysis of transcendentalism as found in Walden will show that Christianity and transcendentalism share many similar ideas, but are incompatible as a whole.

First, both Christianity and transcendentalism issue a call to simplicity. Thoreau enthusiastically embraces simplistic living, saying “Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.”[3] He writes that humans are consumed by encumbering details, which should be reduced. To that end, Thoreau promotes eating fewer meals, with fewer courses.[4] Regarding clothing, he writes that too much emphasis is placed upon staying in the current fashion trend. He states that the true purpose of clothing is simply “to retain the vital heat, and…cover nakedness….”[5]; appearance should not be a factor. Thoreau’s view of the importance of simplicity is, in many ways, parallel to biblical teachings. Jesus teaches in the Sermon on the Mount that Christians are not to worry about clothing. In Matthew 6:28a He asks rhetorically, “And why take ye thought for raiment?” Jesus goes on to say that if God provides for the needs of the flowers and the grass, He will provide clothing for mankind as well. Clearly, focusing on and worrying about details is discouraged by both Christian and transcendentalist ideologies.

Another similarity between Christianity and transcendentalism is found in their respective teachings about material goods. Thoreau discusses furniture and other household items, asserting that this “baggage” inhibits freedom and causes people to become anchored to their homes. He views excessive furniture as a trap which hinders man from moving about freely. [6] In the same way, the Bible teaches that Christians are not to emphasize material goods. Matthew 6:19-20 states that we are to lay up treasures, not on earth, but in heaven, where “moth and rust” will not destroy (cf. Matthew 16:26). Christians are not to worry about food or drink, either. Jesus states in Matthew 6:33 that the focus is to be on the kingdom of God, and “all these things”—clothing, food, and drink—will be provided. Similarly, in Matthew 10:9-10, Jesus instructs the disciples about evangelism, telling them not to carry many things, such as money, that seem essential. The disciples were to have faith that God would provide for their needs. It is evident, then, that not having excessive material goods is supported by both biblical and transcendentalist teachings.

A third similarity between Christian and transcendentalist teachings involves justice. Thoreau argues by example that laws should be obeyed only if they are just and conform to natural law. His opinion of this matter is seen in his confrontation with the law that resulted from his refusing to pay taxes to, or “recognize the authority of”, a government that supported slavery. [7]Similarly, the Scripture teaches that God’s law is higher than man’s. Peter states in Acts 5:29b, “We ought to obey God rather than man.” When a conflict exists between God’s commands and the government’s laws, God’s law is to take preeminence.

The final similarity between Christianity and transcendentalism lies in the treatment of individualism, which Thoreau discusses at length in Walden. Thoreau himself was the epitome of nonconformist. He writes, “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.” [8] Thoreau opposed keeping traditions, and sought to convey the importance of following one’s own inclinations. Thoreau’s views on individualism can be compared to the teaching of the Bible about the Christian’s conformity to the world. In Romans 12:2, the Bible states that Christians are not to be “conformed to this world”, but rather to seek to do God’s will. Christians are to be in the world, but not of it. Just as Thoreau advocates, Christians are to march to the beat of a different drum than that which the world follows.

On the other hand, Thoreau holds other transcendentalist beliefs that are wholly at odds with Christianity. One of these beliefs is his view of philanthropy and doing good. His neighbors had criticized him, asking what good he was doing for the world. He responds by saying that doing good is “one of the professions which are full”,[9] and adds that philanthropy doesn’t “agree with [his] constitution.” [10] Thoreau also writes that he had attempted to give to the poor, but was turned down and therefore gave it up. However, the Bible is abundantly clear that Christians are to do good deeds and show mercy to the poor. Proverbs 19:17a states: “He that hath pity on the poor lendeth unto the Lord….” The story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37 further illustrates the importance of performing benevolent acts of kindness. Doing good should be an integral part of the Christian’s life.

Another transcendentalist view that Thoreau details is the concept of human nature. Thoreau considered mankind to be capable of reaching perfection, by use of the mind. He wrote that “the spirit can for the time pervade and control every member and function of the body, and transmute…the grossest sensuality into purity and devotion.” [11] Thoreau also believed that in a society where all men lived as he did, no thievery would exist. [12] This idealistic view, however, is not supported by Scripture, which teaches that man has an innate sin nature; none is righteous. Romans 3:23 states, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Based upon the above points from a study of Thoreau’s Walden, it is seen that transcendentalism is not compatible with Christianity, but transcendentalist concepts such as living simplistically, not becoming consumed with material wealth, and not mindlessly following every tradition of the world are consistent with biblical teachings.

[1] William J. Gavin, “Chaadayev and Emerson: Two Mystic Pragmatics.” Russian Review 32 no. 2 (1973), 129.

[2]Henry David Thoreau, Walden; Or, Life in the Woods (New York: Dover Publications, Inc., 1995), 63-64.

[3] Ibid., 59.

[4] Ibid., 60.

[5] Ibid., 13.

[6] Ibid., 43.

[7] Ibid., 111.

[8] Ibid., 210.

[9] Ibid., 47.

[10] Ibid.

[11] Ibid., 142.

[12] Ibid., 112.

Pestilent Fellows: A Comparison between Socrates and the Apostle Paul

2009-10-16T08:59:00.001-04:00

This is an essay I wrote last week for my History of Western Civilizations course. I'll publish it here in an attempt to bore all of you to tears. :)

-----

Pestilent Fellows: A Comparison between Socrates and the Apostle Paul

On the surface, Socrates and the Apostle Paul might seem to stand in stark contrast to one another. The two men were born in different countries and were separated by many years[1]. However, a closer study reveals that the lives of Socrates and the Apostle Paul contained some marked parallels. Both men greatly influenced their communities, and ultimately, the world. Each had a revolutionary message for which he was ultimately executed. Yet the two men had radically different worldviews and promoted dissimilar ideas. Consequently, Socrates and the Apostle Paul are best viewed as two radically different men whose lives contained similar events and themes.

The first similarity in the lives of Socrates and the Apostle Paul lies in their relationships with their fellow citizens. Both men promoted new and unpopular ideologies. Their beliefs were revolutionary, and because of this, both were regarded as troublemakers. Paul was referred to as “that pestilent fellow”[2] (Acts 24:24), and wherever he traveled he was harassed and arrested. Socrates was also quite unpopular. He quoted the Athenians as saying of him, “That man Socrates is a pestilential fellow who corrupts the young.” [3] Socrates also called himself a “gadfly,”[4] stinging the Athenians out of their oblivion and into the realization of truth.

A second similar theme in the lives of Socrates and the Apostle Paul is in relation to their life-changing experiences. Socrates and Paul were both changed by a supernatural event. In Socrates’ case, it was an oracle. An acquaintance of his, Chaerephon, went to the oracle at Delphi and asked whether Socrates was the wisest man alive. The oracle replied in the affirmative, whereupon Socrates made it his life mission to discover whether there truly were no men wiser than he. Similarly, the Apostle Paul’s life was changed drastically while he was on the road to Damascus to persecute Christians. Jesus appeared to him and he was converted to Christianity. After this event, Paul began his life’s mission: preaching the Gospel throughout the world.

The third parallel found in the lives of Socrates and the Apostle Paul is that both gave a speech to the men of Athens. Both men reasoned with the Athenians and attempted to convince them to adopt different beliefs. Socrates addressed the group at his trial, reasoning with them that he was innocent of the charges they brought against him. Likewise, the Apostle Paul spoke to the men of Athens when he was questioned about his beliefs.

The fourth comparable event in the lives of Socrates and the Apostle Paul is that they were both put on trial and condemned to death for their beliefs. Socrates was on trial for impiety. His accusers asserted that he was corrupting the Athenian youth, promoting false teachings, and making “the worse argument the stronger.”[5] The Apostle Paul was arrested by the Jews and was on trial many times. His accusers cried, “…This is the man, that teacheth all men everywhere against the people, and the law, and this place….” (Acts 21:28) In the cases of both men, these public outcries resulted in their indictment. Consequently, both were convicted and executed by their respective governments.

The fifth similarity is that neither Socrates nor the Apostle Paul was afraid of death or tried to avoid it. Socrates’ friend and follower, Crito, tried to convince him to escape his prison cell, but Socrates argued that it would not be right to do so. Additionally, Socrates was of the belief that death could be beneficial, and not some evil to be avoided at all costs. At the end of his trial, Socrates stated, “What has happened to me may well be a good thing, and those of us who believe death to be an evil are certainly mistaken.”[6] Resisting the urge to flee even when it was possible, he drank the poison without complaint. Similarly, the Apostle Paul knew beforehand that he would be put to death upon going to Jerusalem, but he did not attempt to hide from this fate. His friends tried to convince him to stay away from Jerusalem to no avail. The Apostle Paul knew that it was God’s will, and therefore had no qualms about dying. He said: “…I am ready not to be bound only, but also to die at Jerusalem for the Lord Jesus” (Acts 21:13).

But even with all of these similarities in life experiences, Socrates and the Apostle Paul were vastly different men. The two espoused contrasting worldviews, and consequently taught dissimilar concepts. A close look at these differences reveals that the majority of them are related to the men’s ideologies.

The first difference is in the life missions of the two men. Socrates’ mission was to determine whether he was the wisest man alive, as well as to question and cast doubt upon the established beliefs of the Athenians. The Apostle Paul’s mission, on the other hand, was to teach the Gospel and bring souls throughout the world to Christ. Socrates stirred up much hatred by telling people that they were not as wise as they thought, while Paul brought wrath down upon himself by contradicting religious laws and traditions. The Apostle Paul’s belief, for example, in the resurrection of Jesus Christ angered many Jews. Clearly, the two men had very different goals in life.

A second difference is in the teaching strategies assumed by Socrates and the Apostle Paul. Socrates interrogated his listeners, probing deeply into their beliefs in a manner that was both disconcerting and uncomfortable. He rarely gave answers to the questions he asked, because none satisfied him. His questions served to confuse people. Socrates said that his great wisdom was not in knowing things, but in realizing that he did not know. The Apostle Paul, on the other hand, taught rather than questioned. He preached stirring sermons expounding on the truth God had given him. His messages generally took a historical approach, starting with Creation, and then showing how God had worked throughout history. Then the Apostle Paul would present the Gospel message and exhort his audience to believe in Jesus Christ. His sermons, rather than asking questions, answered them.

Perhaps these differences in teaching strategies are best shown by comparing Socrates’ discussion with Euthrypho to the Apostle Paul’s sermon on Mars Hill in Athens. Socrates’ conversation with Euthrypho centers on the proper definition of piety. Socrates desires to know what exactly is meant by “piety,” but each time Euthrypho finds an answer, Socrates shows him that it cannot be right. The discussion ends with Euthrypho’s leaving, and the question remains unanswered. The Apostle Paul’s sermon to the Athenians on Mars Hill contrasts greatly with Socrates’ approach. The men of Athens had asked the Apostle Paul to explain his beliefs, and he responds by explaining, not questioning. He tells them that they are too superstitious, and then explains to them about the “God who made the world and all things therein” (Acts 17: 24). The difference between the two men’s teaching styles can be summed up by saying that Socrates asked questions, but the Apostle Paul answered questions.

The final difference between the Apostle Paul and Socrates is in the changes the two men brought to their respective societies. Although Socrates’ challenges to Athenian traditions were ultimately beneficial, in the meantime, they brought doubt, questions, and confusion. The Apostle Paul, on the other hand, brought understanding, new hope, and answers from God. At his death, Socrates left behind some followers who would continue to influence world history, but the Apostle Paul left behind likely thousands of lives changed by the Gospel, and many churches that he had helped to plant.

It is evident that Socrates and the Apostle Paul, although very different men, shared similar experiences. The Apostle Paul’s life showed evidence of the workings of God, whereas Socrates’ life was filled with questions left unanswered. Socrates floundered in the dark while the Apostle Paul was guided by the light of the Holy Spirit. But both men made lasting positive contributions to the world. Each gave his life for a greater cause and should therefore be respected.

[1] Academic American Encyclopedia, (Danbury, Connecticut: Grolier Incorporated, 1993), svv. “Socrates,” “Paul, Saint.”
[2] All Scripture references are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
[3] Plato, The Trial and Death of Socrates Third Ed., eds. G. M. A. Grube and John M. Cooper (Indianapolis: Hackett Publishing Company, 2000), 26.
[4] Ibid, 33.
[5] Ibid, 22.
[6] Ibid, 41.

To Be One

2009-09-25T00:20:00.002-04:00

I recently had the privilege of viewing a newly released Christian film titled To Be One. It was inspiring, encouraging, and very well done, and I would recommend it without reservation, especially to those who are interested in alternatives to dating.

To Be One is, first and foremost, a Christian documentary with an exceptional purpose: to showcase a new vision for how couples journey from first glance to marriage. It follows the true stories of three couples (Jeff & Ashley Baird, Timothy & Brittany Lindvall, and Max & Jenny Parish) from the time they meet, all the way to the altar. These three couples practiced what I would consider courtship, although the term was not overly prominent in the film.

The 85-minute documentary was directed and produced by Peter Telian, a homeschool graduate. It consists mainly of interviews between the happy couples and their parents, as well as an insightful commentary by Norm Wakefield from Elijah Ministries. Also, the film--and this is my favorite part!--includes footage from all three of the weddings.

Something that I appreciated was the diversity of the couples and their experiences. Each had such a unique story. They showed that God's methods of bringing two people together cannot be reduced to a strategy or formula. So, in that sense, each couple's experience was dissimilar. But there was some common ground: in each story, I saw a strong sense of faith that God was working everything out for good, and that they could trust Him to help them make the correct decision.

Three major themes that I saw in To Be One: purity, respect for authority, and accountability. The film emphasized the importance of saving oneself for one's future spouse. Although not specifically enumerated, each couple apparently had standards set for physical touch before the wedding day, and they all saved the first kiss for the ceremony.

Accountability and respect for authority were also central. Each couple asked for and received counsel from their parents as to how to proceed with the relationship. They realized that emotions can override reason, and wisely sought the Lord for guidance and received their parents' blessing before becoming engaged.

To Be One also notes the parallel between the marriage of a man and woman and the relationship that we Christians have with Jesus Christ. The husband is a picture of Christ, and the wife is a picture of the church, the Bride of Christ. The film was a good reminder of that.

In closing, let me encourage each of you to get a copy of To Be One. The soundtrack is beautiful, the testimonies are inspiring, and the message is uplifting. Please, check out the film's website and facebook page, view the promotional video below, and watch the film! I feel confident that you will be blessed by it.

And once again, I return to the blogosphere...

2009-09-25T00:19:00.000-04:00

Yes, I realize that it has only been 15 days since my last blog post. In case you are worried about my mental health, let me assure you that I do not plan to continue blogging with this alarming frequency. And no, I have not kicked that procrastination habit yet.

(Actually, I have a procrastination pamphlet from my Research and Writing class that states: "This handout will help you understand why you procrastinate and offer strategies and [sic] to combat this common writer's ailment."* I think this pamphlet would be very informative, but I haven't found the time to read it.... Just kidding, I have read it, and it could possibly help someone. Just not a chronic procrastinator like me.)

I do have a reason--a very good reason, in fact--for this blog post. And it's not to complain about my procrastination habits. Not entirely, anyway.

You see, one of my friends told me about a Christian documentary that was released recently. She sent me the link to the movie's site where there is this lovely offer stating that I would get the movie for free if I promised to review it on my "well visited, updated blog." I worried that my blog would not be deemed updated enough, but to my surprise and excitement, it was!! I received it on Saturday, watched it last night with my dad and sister, and will now attempt to write an informative, accurate, interesting, descriptive, and captivating assessment of it for you all.

So, let's dive in....

On second thought, I've decided to place the actual review in a second blog post. This will aid in linking. Plus, anyone who is interested in a review of the movie will not necessarily wish to read all of my ramblings above! Read the review here.

In case it's not apparent, I've revamped a lot of my blog. Feedback appreciated!
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*Source: http://www.unc.edu//depts/wcweb/handouts/procrastination.html (accessed Sept. 21st, 2009)

Hey look! I still remember how to blog!

2009-09-10T00:14:00.000-04:00

No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is, indeed and truly, a new blog post!

I am back by popular demand (okay, two people, but they sure are demanding!).

I was planning on having a blog post done over the weekend, but something got in the way. A little something called a Research and Writing assignment, worth 10% of my final grade, due by Sunday at midnight. It took so much more time than I thought it would, and this means that during the time I planned on blogging, I was sweating buckets (figuratively speaking, I assure you) and typing madly while watching the clock tick ever closer to the deadline.

But now I have finished that (not saying how many minutes to spare...), and I am here.

And...I have nothing to say. At least, nothing educational, intellectual, or mind-stimulating.

But because I don't want to let down the poor souls who sit on my blog all day, hitting refresh, I will attempt to write something substantial.

Something substantial...think, Jessica. There must be something to say.

****

And now it is Wednesday night, and I am sitting here watching my cursor blink, realizing that I really need to get this thing posted! Especially because my sister, Erika, decided that an update from me was so unlikely that she took it upon herself to hack in here and give you all brief run-down of my life (see below).

Her summary of my days is unfortunately pretty accurate. College has taken over my life!!!

I have learned that college is more difficult than high school (at least to me) and that I must spend much more time doing it than I had ever imagined. I cannot allow myself to fall behind even one day, because it is so hard to get back on track.

The first week of college was a nightmare; I was overwhelmed. But things are going much better now (Yet again, God's grace was sufficient!), and I am finding my classes to be manageable, interesting, and even sometime humorous.

Before I fall asleep on this keyboard, I should defend myself in regards to the cricket comment. (By the way, thanks, Erika, for not mentioning the watermelons growing on trees thing....) I haven't done biology in quite some time, never really cared about it, and probably would have realized that crickets are not vertebrates if I had simply thought about it before speaking. (Who, me? Think before speaking?!)

Jennifer wanted an update on my life, so I suppose I should mention more than just college. I have started taking piano lessons again (today), and have been learning to play the organ over the summer. I finished working for the Board of Elections (at least on a full time basis) on August 21st, so as to have time for college. The primary election is coming up next Tuesday, and I will be working that. It should be an interesting day. Local politics...never stops, and I try to keep up, going to meetings and volunteering and such. AWANA starts next Monday, and I'll be helping with that. Erika and I would both like to try for the Citation Award (Bible memorization is a good idea in general, plus I can get a nice scholarship from PHC if I get the award), so we are starting on some of the books. How is that for an overview, Jenn? Happy now? :) I'm sure I'm missing stuff, though.

Wow...this post is confusing and sadly lacking on so many levels. Maybe tomorrow I will read it and edit it, but for now...I'm going to hit "Publish Post" and hope that it will suffice.

Hi Everyone!!

2009-09-09T20:44:00.004-04:00

Yes!! A new post!! But not by Jessica. After several tries, I have managed to heroically hack into Jessica's blog to give her reader(s) an exciting, heart-warming, awwww-producing update. Basically, I have 15 minutes before she gets back from choir practice, so we'll do this quickly.

1. Jessica has started college.

2. She is currently working on college-related items, such as classes.

3. Her time can basically be summed up in two areas: college, and thinking/talking/writing/dreaming about college.

4. However, she still finds time to keep her social life a couple rungs above "hermit crab" level, so it surprises me how long she has not talked to you. I mean, I just sit down and words pour forth.

5. Maybe she's wanting to post something a above the random, exciting, hart-warming, awwww-producing update that I'm giving.

But, I do want to share with you a funny story about Jessica. So, she and I were talking about crickets this afternoon, as I was sitting at the table doing lesson 11.5 in my math. She was going to run downstairs and look up crickets in the encyclopedia, but she wasn't sure what (besides "cricket") she should look under. She wanted a general, biological classification name, something that would make Mr. ACE Biology dude proud of her. She said (and I am not kidding): "Crickets are vertebrates, right?"

I guess it's been a while since ninth-grade biology...

Okay. That was it. I need to go do chemistry and practice my "Who? Me? Hack into what blog?" look! Catch you all later!

-- Erika, who is Jessica's coolest sister. Undoubtedly.

Commercial break!!

2009-08-12T22:16:00.006-04:00

I'm on summer break (although it doesn't feel like a break when you're working full time!) so I haven't been writing papers or doing much theorizing. So this is just a fun post with some of my favorite youtube music clips. Enjoy.

A New Hallelujah

And life goes on...

2009-07-17T18:05:00.031-04:00

...even when I don't blog!

I read a blogging tips article a while back that said it was never right to blog for the sake of blogging, or simply because it had been a while since the last post.

However, I'm going to completely disregard the article and post about anything and everything that seems bloggable.

Why? Because it has been two months since I posted last, and because one of my longsuffering readers (you know who you are!) hinted that I would need to "dust off" this blog before posting anything.

Consider this my attempt to dust. [note the Swiffer in my hand. See? I am trying.]

Ironically, the rest of my life hasn't seemed to collect much dust lately. It's been pretty crazy these past weeks. I graduated from high school last Sunday, and I have one suggestion for any aspiring homeschool graduates: do not procrastinate so badly on school that you end up literally graduating the day of the party. Take it from me, it's not worth the dramatic finish! And the crash the next day is inevitable [sleep may be overrated, but trying not to fall asleep at a work desk is lousy].

Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. Why do I do these things to myself? An astute reader of my blog will remember that I have a problem with procrastination, especially when it comes to math.

And although an intelligent person would have learned from those torturous Algebra-filled weeks, I did not. You see, while most people learn from their mistakes, I tend to repeat mine. Maybe it's because I forget how much it stinks to do 14 lessons of math a day? My memory is patchy at best. (And people do laugh at me when I complain of having senior moments. But they are real, okay?) So, excuse me for one moment....NOTE TO SELF: Stop procrastinating on everything....Alright, I'm back now. We'll see if that works.

I have learned some valuable lessons, though. For instance, I found out that splashing water on your face actually will help keep you awake (the colder the water is, the better).

But on a more serious note, I also learned that even when I am in over my head, God is faithful.

Roughly two weeks before I graduated, I was sitting at my desk with my 20% completed geometry book in front of me, when I realized that, short of a miracle, I would never finish in time. The math lessons were harder than I expected, I was working full time, and I had overbooked myself with some political commitments. Completely overwhelmed, I started to cry, and cried out to God for help. And the instant I did, this verse popped into my head: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) It stopped me dead in my tracks, because I hadn't thought about or read that verse lately, and I could think of no rational explanation for that verse coming to me when it did. It had to have been God. So, I wrote the verse in my notebook, and started Lesson 22.

And God was faithful!

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

-Brian Littrell, "In Christ Alone"

{this song is on my playlist at the bottom of this blog}

Movie Reviews

2009-05-23T18:34:00.003-04:00

This is just going to be a short post, promoting two great Christian films that I've seen recently.

First up: Come What May, produced by Advent Film Group in association with Patrick Henry College. I had watched the first half of it online while it was available, and really wanted to see how it ended. To my great surprise, I won the movie on the YLCF blog. I've seen it twice now, and I highly recommend it.

A brief summary: Caleb Hogan (played by Austin Kearney) is being pulled in two directions by his parents, Don and Judith Hogan (played by Kenny and Karen Jezek). Don is a born-again Christian who is seeking to impart his conservative Christian worldview to his son. Judith, on the other hand, is a high-powered liberal attorney who would like Caleb to grow up with a completely different set of ideals. Judith agrees to let Caleb attend Patrick Henry College, on the condition that he win the National Moot Court championship.

Caleb and his debate partner, Rachel (played by Victoria Emmons) do not take the same approach to their debate assigment: overturning Roe v. Wade. Caleb is forced to make a decision: take the easy way out and likely win, or do what's right and potentially lose the championship. In the process he learns that "what you believe affects the way you behave" and to "do what's right, come what may."

Come What May does have a rather complicated plot, and it may be necessary to view it more than once to fully understand all the lessons that are packed into it. Courtship, abortion, and reconciling a rocky marriage are all discussed.

So there you have it! I would encourage everyone to hop over to Christianbook and buy it!

The other movie I'd like to promote is....

Rather than write a review for this movie (not that I'm lazy or anything....), here's the link to the review from PluggedInOnline.

(As a side note, I've found PluggedInOnline to be very helpful in my efforts to investigate movies before watching them).

Fireproof is designed to strengthen marriage relationships. I can't say whether or not it succeeds in that (obvious lack of personal experience), but I can say that the movie is not just for married couples. The basic themes of faithfulness and love, and the premise that relationships thrive only when based in a common love for Jesus Christ, can benefit all audiences.

Oh happy day!!

2009-05-09T15:52:00.003-04:00

"Oh happy day, oh happy day
When Jesus washed my sins away
Oh, happy day, oh, happy day
When my Jesus washed my sins away..."*

Very fittingly, I woke up this morning with this song on my mind. I say fittingly, because today I received a much-anticipated letter from Patrick Henry College. I'm afraid I rather demolished the envelope in the process of opening it, only to read the word "Congratulations!" and become an emotional wreck. (You may have heard the scream.)

This basically means that, after two years of hoping and praying, going through the rather arduous process of applying, and several weeks of suspense, I have been accepted. Praise the Lord!

So, it's a happy day!

What does this mean for this blog? Perhaps less neglect, because I've been told that PHC emphasizes writing, and I will therefore have more material to post!

I hope to blog soon** with two movie reviews.

*The song is on my playlist at the bottom of this blog if anyone cares to hear it.
** soon \'sün\ adv 1. anywhere from two seconds to several years in the future 2. roughly within the length of the Garfield Administration 3. when I start feeling guilty

:-)

2009-04-17T18:59:00.005-04:00

I feel like I need to write another post, to atone for the really really boring post I just published. Honestly, if I hadn't written it myself, I'm sure I wouldn't read it. It's too long!!

So if you read some of it, or even just make it through the first paragraph, kudos to you! And if you read the whole thing, let me know so that I can promptly pass out. (not that I've ever fainted before, or ever would...it just sounded good.)

Actually, though, I would really appreciate some feedback on that paper, and on my writing in general. I've been informed by a friend (whose opinion was promptly corroborated by a sibling) that my sentences are too long and have too many prepositional phrases, and that sometimes by the time the end of the sentence is reached, it is difficult to remember what it started with. YES, I made that extra-long on purpose. I can write short sentences. Like this. See?

So...
-are my sentences often too long?
-does my health care paper even make sense?
-do I consistently make grammar errors that I should know about?

Please give me your honest opinion!

Jessica's Soapbox

I'm a jerk.

Update

Oh...um, hi.

My life as a semi-stressed, caffeinated, sleep-deprived, ON CAMPUS student. :D

A summer of twos...

Thoughts on worth...fueled by vanilla chai... ;)

Just wondering...

After Mexico...

*creativity fail*

"My love is like a blueberry..."

Un dia en mi vida...

I AM STUCK ON A TITLE!!!

Seriously?

I'm in Mexico!

Take a breath, take a step...

Um, hi.

epic. fail.

Don't fall out of your chair...

Wow.

Do your eyes hurt?

Some Kind of Wonderful...

Oh, look!

Natural Law, Liberty, and Equality: The Enlightenment’s Influence on Smith’s Economics

Reason to Believe: An Analysis of Anselm's Ontological Argument

Jessica erat in flagrante delicto...apparently.

Wondering...

2010, really?

Is it Morally Acceptable to Discard Unwanted Frozen Human Embryos?

So.

Theological Term Paper: The Importance of the Doctrine of the Trinity

In Which I Write Like a Hysterical, Relieved College Student

9 Days!

I love ellipses, apparently.

This sums up my life lately...

On the dangers of essay writing....

An attempt to excuse my lack of blogishness...

Taking a deep breath...

Transcendentalism: Compatible with Christianity?

Pestilent Fellows: A Comparison between Socrates and the Apostle Paul

To Be One

And once again, I return to the blogosphere...

Hey look! I still remember how to blog!

Hi Everyone!!

Commercial break!!

And life goes on...

Movie Reviews

Oh happy day!!

:-)

creativity fail