2010, really?

Can you believe that it's a new year?! We're in a new decade, in fact. Wow.

Isn't it amazing how much can happen in one year? For example, I blogged 27 times. Impressive, right? That's more than twice per month, people.

*waits several moments for applause*

*gives up waiting*

So, what's in store for this year? Really, only God knows what will happen in the coming months, but I trust that this year will be filled with blessings for all of my readers. (I feel like I can finally talk as if I have readers since I now have reached a whopping twelve followers....)

Yesterday I posted my last paper from last semester. My apologies for any formatting issues...Microsoft Word and Blogger don't get along very well. In fact, I spent at least an hour editing the html of that post so that it would look readable. There are still some problems with the footnotes, but let me assure you that they are correctly formatted in the actual document (proper spacing and all!).

Anyhow, it is the argumentative research paper that I wrote for my Research and Writing class. Yes, the "dangerous" paper that I wrote about a while back. And while we are on that subject, I must announce to a particular reader (*cough*Erika*cough*) that I STILL HAVE THAT SCAR!!! Just FYI. ((See, it wasn't exaggerated.))

In that post I mentioned my nightmare wherein I had worried that I had ended my paper with the word with. That's why it was rather humorous when my professor commented that my last sentence was good. If only she knew...

So, now I finally have my class grades and cumulative GPA. I am satisfied but not thrilled (Yep, I wanted that elusive 4.0.) But God is good! He is so faithful and it was only by His grace and the encouragement of friends and family that I got through the first few rough days of college and had the stamina to finish.

You see, I did something that I would never recommend anyone try: from the time that I was accepted at PHC to the day that classes started, I focused on anything but college. Finishing high school wore me out and my summer was busy while I worked a full-time job. My last day of work was Friday, my friend's graduation party (in our yard) was Sunday, and college started on Monday. So, that Monday morning, I logged onto the student portal and started trying to navigate my classes for the first time.

Incredibly. Bad. Idea.

That is why my first week of college was one of the worst weeks in my life. I learned that I did not have all my books, and I was just scrambling to keep up. In fact, the entire semester I was barely on track due to my stupidity and carelessness at the beginning.

Why am I saying all of this? Because I have determined to do better this time. College officially starts next Wednesday (or Thursday, depending on who I ask) but I have already started getting ready. I hope to be completely organized, have all of my books (I have many of them, but a few are still in the mail), finish the preliminaries (PKATs, etc), and have started the reading before the first day of class.

I think what I've just written is very much along the same lines as something my good friend just posted. She wrote,

I must not hold back when God is clearing the path for me. I need to be watching for the opportunities He puts before me, and when He says 'go', I need to throw myself into it instead of asking "are You sure?"

(Can you believe I just quoted you on my blog, bestie? You're famous now!)

Anyhow, what she said rings so true to me. I think it is so important that we seize the opportunities that God has given us. My acceptance at PHC was, I feel, an open door that God gave me to increase in knowledge and broaden my horizons. Rather than continually questioning what I will do with a degree and where God wants me to be in the future, I ought to focus on making the most of this amazing opportunity.

Moving on...

Break has been wonderful. I'm afraid that I took the catching-up-on-sleep-thing to an absolute extreme. I am definitely not going into details (though I'm sure Erika would be happy to satisfy your curiosity...please don't ask her!!). Let me just say that I think I've slept enough now that I could be up for the next week....

Besides sleeping excessively, I've been hanging out with family (sleigh rides, Christmas caroling, sledding, making snow angels), spending time with friends (especially one friend who will be leaving soon for several months...sniff, sniff!), playing piano (I've started playing piano with the congregation now...what an experience!) and overall just loving life.

Oh yes, I should mention the one adverse affect that college has had on me: wisdom teeth. At least, I think they are starting to come in (which means I need to get them all out right away before they ruin 4 1/2 years of orthodontic work) and my mom said that since college is making me so smart, it only makes sense that my wisdom teeth would come in.... Very funny.

Yep, break was fantastic, but...Spring semester, here I come!

Carpe diem, folks!!

Is it Morally Acceptable to Discard Unwanted Frozen Human Embryos?

Around the world, a debate is raging over the ethical and moral implications of scientific breakthroughs in the field of assisted reproductive technologies. At the center of the controversy is an organism so small that it can fit on the end of a pin: the frozen human embryo. [1] Suspended indefinitely in a place where time has stopped—frozen in vials in fertility clinics—hundreds of thousands of human embryos await implantation in a mother’s womb.[2] With storage space running low, many fertility clinics are left wondering what should be done with unclaimed and unwanted embryos. Discarding seems to be the easiest option, but some ethicists and scientists argue that destroying embryos is not morally acceptable because it takes the life of a human being.

The frozen human embryos in question are created using in vitro fertilization (IVF). IVF is a process that allows infertile couples to conceive. In a study on reproductive technologies, Jacques Cohen and Robert Lee Hotz write, “These new technologies usually are aimed at women who cannot carry their own child and at those numerous couples—an estimated 2.4 million married couples in the United States (U.S. Congress 1988:3)—who are infertile and cannot conceive unaided.”[3]

In the IVF process, eggs are harvested from the female which are then fertilized in a Petri dish. After five to six days of growth, having formed six cells, the embryos are in the blastocyst stage, and are ready to be implanted in the mother’s womb. Because the success rate for IVF is low, many embryos are created at once and some are cryogenically preserved, or frozen, for later use.[4] According to Andrea Bonnicksen, “During a woman’s initial IVF cycle, three or four of the embryos created are transferred to her uterus, while the rest are frozen for storage, to be thawed and transferred at a later date.”[5] If the first batch of implanted embryos is not successful, the frozen embryos are used.

Cryopreservation of human embryos is possible because the freezing temperature literally slows down time and stops the development of the embryo until it is thawed for use. Dr. Jerome Lejeune, a geneticist renowned for his discovery of the cause of Down’s syndrome,[6] explains: “But in the fundamental sense what we are doing by lowering down the temperature is stopping not totally but very deeply the movements of the atoms and molecule so…we have more or less arrested the flux of the time.”[7] Because the growth of human embryos is halted, they can be left frozen for an indefinite period of time.

The issue arises when the embryos go unclaimed, and clinics are left with the dilemma of determining their fate. The clinics mail out letters, asking the parents to determine an outcome for their embryos. In a study about the rationales behind opting to either donate or discard embryos, Sheryl de Lacey writes that the decisions are “extremely difficult and morally challenging.”[8]

The two options available for unwanted frozen human embryos are either donation (to another couple or to research) or discarding. According to researcher Sheryl de Lacey:

Once a woman and her partner have determined that further treatment is no longer possible or desirable, the decision about the fate of the frozen embryos typically involves selecting between options that commonly include discarding embryos, donating embryos to another couple (either anonymously or to a known recipient), or donating to research. [9]

A study of current trends in Australia shows that a significant number of couples do choose to discard their unwanted embryos: “In essence, 64.7% of the patients applied for an extension or used the embryos themselves in the 6 months between the reminder and the expiry date. Only 5.9% patients overall opted to donate embryos to others and the decision was not influenced by pregnancy. This compared with 18.8% of patients who chose to discard their embryos.”[10]

But is it morally acceptable to discard human embryos? The answer depends on one’s view of life. To a person who believes that life begins at conception, the embryo is a human life. Lejeune states unequivocally that the embryo is a human being: “But as a geneticist you ask me whether this human being is a human, and I would tell you that because he is a being and being human, he is a human being.”[11] Reproductive rights supporter Cheryl Meyer follows the implications of the belief that human life begins at conception: “If the embryo represents human life, this could become an insurmountable problem to medical research on, or even performance of, the IVF procedure. Theoretically, physicians could no longer conduct research using embryos or discard embryos, because to do so could be considered murder.”[12]

However, in a 1979 report by the Department of Health, Education, and Welfare that supported IVF and embryo transfer, the Ethics Advisory Board concluded that “the human embryo is entitled to profound respect; but this respect does not necessarily encompass the full legal and moral rights attributed to persons.”[13] Scott B. Rae and Paul M. Cox from the Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity disagree:

Embryos are persons, deserving of full human rights. They are not potential persons, a concept that itself is problematic. Either one is a person, or one is not a person. What one normally means by this imprecise use of that term is that the embryo (and fetus also) is a person with the potential to become a full-grown adult. It is better to say that the embryo is a “person with potential.”[14]

Those who consider destruction of human embryos to be morally acceptable often use the term pre-embryo rather than embryo. However, Lejeune considers the term a “meaningless neologism,” stating that “before the embryo there are only the egg and the sperm, and, inasmuch as no one of them has achieved fertilization, no new being exists. There is, therefore, no pre-embryo, since by definition the embryo is the youngest form of being.” [15]

The fact that the frozen embryo has the potential to lead a normal life is another consideration when determining whether it is acceptable to discard frozen human embryos. According to a study in Human Reproduction, there is no noticeable increase in defects in children born from frozen embryos compared to children conceived naturally:

A study of 91 children born after transfer of cryopreserved embryos and 83 children born after natural conception (Sutcliff et. al., 1995), showed no increase in the incidence of malformations, either minor or major. Nor was there any difference in later psycho-motor development between the two groups, as assessed using Griffiths’ quotient (Griffiths, 1976) (Table XII).[16]

If Lejeune is correct that destroying frozen embryos takes the life of a living human being, and if it is true that the embryo has the potential to lead a normal life, what should be done in the case of unwanted frozen embryos? Donating the embryos to another couple is an alternative to discarding that preserves the life of the embryo, but statistics show that the option is not preferred.[17] A shortcoming to the adoption solution is that donating an embryo is a complex emotional decision, one that many couples are not prepared to make. Rae and Cox state, “Even though donation does not involve discarding the leftover embryos, and is more ethically acceptable, it is very difficult to accept emotionally for many couples.”[18]

Ethicists Rae and Cox propose another possible solution to the unwanted frozen embryo dilemma. They write that the number of embryos that can be created at one time should be limited, for if the doctor limited the creation of embryos to the number that could be implanted at one time, cryopreservation would become unnecessary and difficult decisions about the fate of excess embryos would not have to be made. Rae and Cox write,

The most prudent course for couples to follow and for their physicians to encourage in these procedures is to avoid having leftover embryos as best they can….A couple can inform the clinic of their views concerning when personhood begins, and tell the clinic they do not want any leftover embryos after they are finished doing business there.…The number of eggs to be fertilized depends on the number of embryos the couple wants implanted. [19]

Limiting the number of embryos created to the amount that could be implanted at one time would dispel the need to cryogenically preserve embryos, but the solution would require effort and time to implement.

Clearly, the debate over the fate of unwanted frozen human embryos is not one that will find an easy solution. The issue is complex, with many moral and ethical implications. Donating to willing couples and limiting the number of created embryos are both viable alternatives to discarding which recognize the human life and potential in the embryo. The implications of a decision on the fate of the embryos are far-ranging and will affect thousands of frozen human embryos, so it is important that all options be considered carefully. An understanding of the sacredness of human life will be necessary as scientific research moves forward and new discoveries with moral implications are made in the field of reproductive technologies.

Bibliography

Bonnicksen, Andrea. “Embryo Freezing: Ethical Issues in the Clinical Setting.” The Hastings Center Report, 1988.

Brinsden, Peter R., ed. A Textbook of In Vitro Fertilization and Assisted Reproduction: The Bourn Hall Guide to Clinical and Laboratory Practice. New York: The Parthenon Publishing Group Inc., 1999.

Cohen, Jacques and Robert Lee Hotz. “Toward Policies Regarding Assisted Reproductive Technologies.” In Emerging Issues in Biomedical Policy 1, ed. Robert H. Blank and Andrea Bonnicksen, 225-237. New York: Columbia University Press, 1992. http://www.netlibrary.com.ezproxy.phc.edu/Reader/ (accessed September 25, 2009).

Darlington, Neroli and Phillip Matson. “The Fate of Cryopreserved Human Embryos Approaching their Legal Limit of Storage within a West Australian In-Vitro Fertilization Clinic.” Human Reproduction 14, no. 9 (1999): 2343-2344, http://cli.gs/6LmWgY (accessed September 25, 2009).

de Lacey, Sheryl. “Decisions for the fate of frozen embryos: Fresh insights into patients' thinking and their rationales for donating or discarding embryos.” Human Reproduction 22, no. 6 (June 2007): 1751-1758, http://cli.gs/6H3m2b/ (accessed September 25, 2009).

Department of Health, Education, and Welfare Ethics Advisory Board. Report and Conclusions: HEW Support of Research Involving Human In Vitro Fertilization and Embryo Transfer. 1979. http://www.bioethics.gov/reports/past_commissions/HEW_IVF_report.pdf (accessed October 27, 2009).

Lejeune, Jerome. The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992.

Ludwig, M., S.Al-Hasani, R.Felberbaum and K.Diedrich. “New aspects of cryopreservation of oocytes and embryos in assisted reproduction and future perspectives.” Human Reproduction 14 (1999): 162-185, http://cli.gs/ZgnrvZ (accessed September 25, 2009).

Meyer, Cheryl L. The Wandering Uterus: Politics and the Reproductive Rights of Women. New York: New York University Press, 1997.

Rae, Scott B. and Paul M. Cox. Bioethics: A Christian Approach in a Pluralistic Age. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1999.

---

[1] Peter R. Brinsden, ed., A Textbook of In Vitro Fertilization and Assisted Reproduction: The Bourn Hall Guide to Clinical and Laboratory Practice (New York: The Parthenon Publishing Group Inc., 1999), 105.

[2] David Hoffman, Gail Zellman, Christine Fair, Jacob Mayer, Joyce Zeitz, William Gibbons, and Thomas Turner, Jr., “Cryopreserved embryos in the United States and their availability for research,” abstract, in Fertility and Sterility 79 Issue 5, (May 2003), http://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282%2803%2900172-9/abstract (accessed October 18, 2009).

[3] Jacques Cohen and Robert Lee Hotz, “Toward Policies Regarding Assisted Reproductive Technologies,” in Emerging Issues in Biomedical Policy 1, ed. Robert H. Blank and Andrea Bonnicksen (New York: Columbia University Press, 1992), 225.

[4] Ibid, 232.

[5] Andrea L. Bonnicksen, “Embryo Freezing: Ethical Issues in the Clinical Setting.” The Hastings Center Report (1988): 26.

[6] Jerome Lejeune, The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992), 22.

[7] Ibid., 36.

[8] Sheryl de Lacey, “Decisions for the Fate of Frozen Embryos: Fresh Insights into Patients’ Thinking and their Rationales for Donating or Discarding Embryos,” Human Reproduction 22, no. 6 (2007), 1751, http://cli.gs/6H3m2b/ (accessed October 4, 2009).

[9] Ibid.

[10] Neroli Darlington and Phillip Matson, “The Fate of Cryopreserved Embryos Approaching their Legal Limit of Storage within a West Australian In-vitro Fertilization Clinic,” Human Reproduction 14 no.9 (1999): 2343.

[11] Jerome Lejeune, The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992), 72.

[12] Cheryl L. Meyer, The Wandering Uterus: Politics and the Reproductive Rights of Women (New York: New York University Press, 1997), 64.

[13] Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, Ethics Advisory Board, Report and Conclusions: HEW Support of Research Involving Human In Vitro Fertilization and Embryo Transfer, 1979, http://www.bioethics.gov/ reports/past_commissions/HEW_IVF_report.pdf (accessed October 27, 2009), 101.

[14] Scott B. Rae and Paul M. Cox, Bioethics: A Christian Approach in a Pluralistic Age, (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1999), 183.

[15] Jerome Lejeune, The Concentration Can: When Does Human Life Begin? An Eminent Geneticist Testifies (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992), 11.

[16] Ludwig, M., S.Al-Hasani, R.Felberbaum and K.Diedrich. “New aspects of cryopreservation of oocytes and embryos in assisted reproduction and future perspectives.” Human Reproduction 14 (1999): 162-185, http://cli.gs/ZgnrvZ (accessed September 25, 2009).

[17] Neroli Darlington and Phillip Matson, “The Fate of Cryopreserved Embryos Approaching their Legal Limit of Storage within a West Australian In-vitro Fertilization Clinic,” Human Reproduction 14 no.9 (1999): 2343.

[18] Scott B. Rae and Paul M. Cox, Bioethics: A Christian Approach in a Pluralistic Age, (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1999), 185.

[19] Ibid.

So.

I have just posted my Theological Term paper. I received it back from my professor today and was pleased (okay, thrilled) with my grade. If you've ever wanted to know what a ten-page paper looks like on blogger, take a look! And please comment and give feedback. Don't worry about offending me; believe me, this paper has been ripped to shreds before (constructive criticism, you know).

Just a quick update: I am alive, I am loving break, had my braces removed last week (pictures here), went on a harrowing shopping trip with Katrina, had a marvelous Christmas, turned 19 yesterday (I suppose I need to update my sidebar!), and am actually starting to look forward to college again. I definitely needed a break, though!

All right, I'm off to post on Erika's blog!

In Which I Write Like a Hysterical, Relieved College Student

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I had to get that out....

See that smile on my face? ^^^^ Josh drew that picture of me, and I think he captured my feelings quite well. :)

This post will probably be sickeningly exuberant with an excessive number of exclamation points because I'm currently floating in a state of delirious happiness. First semester down!!! I took the last final last night, and now I have 28 days free. (Yep, I counted them.)

Life is fantastic and God is amazing!!! Not only am I done with college for the semester (have I mentioned that yet?), but my braces are coming off next Monday (December 21st), I will be 19 the week after that, and I am majorly thrilled about my plans for break.

What are my plans for break? Well, basically, I plan on being a complete slob. Just kidding...I have a long list of things that I've been unable to do all semester. It's the simple things that I miss, like...

cleaning my room (it has gotten pretty bad lately...piles of projects that I need to work on and haven't had time)

-sleeping

-emailing friends back

-writing letters

-Christmas things, like the newsletter, buying presents, and more

-blogging

-writing in my journal

-talking to friends and family without watching the clock and keeping college assignments constantly in the back of my brain (It's true that I've been home since I do distance learning, but having assignments has meant that I've had to shut myself into my room [even when friends are here] and do school.)

Actually, it's a rather surreal feeling to have no assignments pressing on my brain. It's amazing.

But, I think my family is more relieved than I am...if that's possible. Why?

1) My mom has a list for me to do over break. And she's probably happy that I will stop completely forgetting to do the dishes!
2) My family will not have to listen to my incessant talk about college.
3) And Erika will no longer have to sit with me at late hours, performing the role of "study partner."

Oh, yes. This is where I tell the hilarious story about last night's frantic studying. At least I found it funny. I wasn't too concerned about the Theology Final, since the Theology Exams up to that point had been incredibly easy, but then I started hearing scores from the amazing geniuses in the class and panicked. Based on the numbers I was hearing, I was scared that I would completely bomb the test. So, I read through all the lectures and wrote 16 pages of notes to study. And who did I pick to help me cram my notes into my brain?? Yep, Erika. I bribed her with hot cider (I have a stash of hot cider in my room that only a privileged few can have!!) to stay up until 11 with me, reading my notes and quizzing me on them.

What was so funny was her pronunciation of the words. I admit, my handwriting was pretty bad, but she had never heard of most of the terms and was pronouncing everything completely phonetically. It was completely understandable (there were words like Patripassianism, anthropomorphisms, etc.) until we got to the definition of omnipotent, and she read it "om' ny po' tent *blink blink* Oh, omnipotent!" ...I burst out laughing, because she knows that word.

It was great. I love PHC. I'm glad to be done. That's about all I have in my head right now.

I've learned so much this semester which should prove useful next semester. I have learned those little details about how distance learning works and have some ideas about the standards of the professors. Next semester should be slightly easier, as I'm taking 12 credits instead of 13.

Today I'm cleaning, catching up on things, and loving life. Can life get better? I think not.

(Erika says this is a hyperactive blog post, which sounds a lot like me right now. So, I think I'll post it.)

9 Days!

But who's counting?

Oh, wait. I am.

Nine days until what? you might ask. Good question. You might also ask why I am writing in choppy sentences. That would also be a good question.

Anyhow. There are only nine days left until I will be done with my first semester at PHC. I am ridiculously excited! I finished the last two essays on Friday and now have only one more week of studies and then final exams. I'm seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Or would that be, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel? I don't know (or care, at this point!).

It's 12:45 AM, which incidentally might not be the best blogging time for me. But I'm currently caught up enough in studies to justify typing this out.

About those essays...I know I said I would publish them, but let's just say that they will not be seeing the light of day for a long time. And if I ever publish them, it will be as a joke! Sometimes I really dislike my writing. Like right now. I am not exceptionally proud of the two essays I wrote this week. But I still plan on posting the Theology paper and Research and Writing paper.

Hmm, anything else of note? Tomorrow (or actually, today) I get my lower retainer (for you non-braces people, that's part of the orthodontic procedure), which means I'm starting to see the light at the end of THAT tunnel as well. I was starting to despair of ever getting my braces off!

All right, this is all for now! I hope to post more often now that college is almost done.

I love ellipses, apparently.

Looking down through the titles of my last posts, I've noticed a pattern. So, the title of this post is going against the norm and challenging tradition by being completely ellipsis-free!

It has been almost a week since I blogged last (not counting the little post I just published), so I figure it's time for an update. Mainly because a certain someone is going to get back to college and internet access soon, and she'll be checking my blog (I'm sure it's the first thing she'll do, even before email and facebook! Well, maybe not before facebook. But you get the idea.)

Someone needs to get out their little violin and play "My Heart Bleeds for You" because I'm having a pity party in my room. Not really! I came down with some bug--I think it's just a normal cold, but with some of the comments I've heard lately, I almost thought about going to the hospital!!--and I have been shunned from social activities. So instead of playing Uno and such, I'm sitting here writing discussion board posts for college. And blogging.

But on the bright side, I'm feeling much better than I did yesterday! The past two days I've had a fever. Not a high one, just high enough to make me dizzy, disoriented, and confused. (YES, that is unusual. Thanks for asking.) I didn't want to get anyone sick, so when the relatives came over for Thanksgiving dinner, I quarantined myself in my room and ate whatever my waitress (AKA my amazing mother) brought me while reading Luther's treatises. It was a unique combination. Unfortunately I don't remember much of what I read because I kept falling asleep. How annoying.

Speaking of fevers, we have quite the thermometer saga in this house. You see, *someone* in our house is a hypochondriac. I will not mention names. A while back, the aforesaid hypochondriac was certain she had a fever, and thus took her temperature. *Without* shaking the thermometer down first. So it still said 103 degrees (from--I think--the last time I was feverish)...and yet she wasn't sick. I still laugh about that one. But she has the last laugh, because I am completely incapable of reading a thermometer. I have tried and tried, and I can NEVER see the line of mercury. At all. I always give it to the aforementioned sister and she reads it. If I ever have kids, I will have to get the kind of thermometer with a digital readout, or else I will have to take them to their aunt's house whenever they are sick. Actually, I like that last idea. Hmmm....

Wow, I'm rambling. As long as I'm in a random mood, I'm going to write things without bothering to transition from one paragraph to the next!

I'm listening to some awesome music. I recently discovered the album "Where Strength Begins" by Phillips, Craig & Dean and basically fell in love with it. (Yes, my dear Tennessee reader, I put that phrase in just for you!) My sisters somehow aren't as thrilled. I'm not sure if it's the perpetual loop that I put that CD on, the volume, or the songs themselves. They nod appreciatively when I tell them I've found "a new favorite song," allow me to subject their eardrums to the latest and greatest, and then escape when I'm not watching.

I'm just glad my computer is allowing me to type tonight. Sometimes it gets so slow that I will type something, leave, and come back a few minutes later only to see that "I" am still typing. One agonizing letter at a time.

My computer died. But it was worth it, because when I turned it back on, Firefox informed me that it had lost my pages and gave me my favorite message: "Well, this is embarrassing." I LOVE that. So creative. It makes the frustration of re-opening tabs worthwhile.

But Skype is a different story. I hate the sound that plays when it starts up. It sounds like a bunch of people inhaling together, preparing for a blood-curdling scream. Always makes me jump.

Okay, I will stop now. I love writing disjointedly. I have two essays due next Friday, so I will not be blogging until after that. Sayonara! (No, I don't know Japanese; I just thought it sounded cool.)

This sums up my life lately...

My logic homework has started to remind me of doing proofs in geometry (felt like writing "QED" at the end of one of the problems!), and anything that reminds me of math in any way is bad news! So the above picture adequately depicts my experiences with Logic. :)

On the dangers of essay writing....

Dangers? Yes.

As you may have inferred from my last post, this week has consisted almost entirely of writing papers. I smile when I think of the time it took me to write the health care paper (part of my application to Patrick Henry College). It was a 7-page paper, and yet it took me at least a month--maybe more. How did I suddenly learn to write a ten-page theological term paper in three days? One word: deadlines.

Deadlines are an absolute necessity for me. They force me to write when I don't feel like it, and also turn me into a raving lunatic. Well, not quite, but you don't want to hear some of the bizarre things I've said in the midst of a paper-writing brain fog (Erika just gives me this "look" and I know that once again, I am not making any sense and should either go to bed or write some more--and I unfortunately must pick the latter).

But where does the dangerous part come in? It comes from being entirely focused on writing, to the extent that everything else is blocked out. For example, I have a small electric heater in my room (I love it--it keeps me from growing icicles) and every time I would get up from my computer, I would trip over it. Embarrassing. And how did I literally not hear three girls practicing violins just a short distance away?

And I haven't even mentioned my battle scars yet! (Be very alarmed.) Actually, no, I think I will keep the origin of the scar next to my left eye a closely-guarded secret. Just know that my computer monitor has sharp edges, which my mom has threatened to put padding on (to kid-proof my room. When I get older and smarter she will take them off.)

So yesterday was the deadline for both my Theological Term Paper and my Research and Writing Argumentative Essay. <---- That is the stuff of nightmares. No, really. Last night, after submitting both essays, I had horrible nightmares about italics and footnotes. I kept waking up panicking, wondering if I really had ended my paper with the word with. I almost turned on my computer to check, but then decided that even if it were true that I had...

1) Left notes to myself in my essay (Such as "expand more here")
2) Forgotten to italicize book titles in my footnotes
3) Written a paragraph entirely about myself (what?!)
4) Used the word I throughout the essay (a major no-no)

...it was too late to change anything anyhow! Although one of the first things I did this morning was look at my conclusion to see how I ended it. I was paranoid.

A blog reader mentioned that by now I must be a coffee drinker, but I actually am not. I probably would drink coffee if we had it around the house, but maybe I prefer the bleary-eyed, physically-and-mentally-exhausted look! (I don't....)

So...that's the story of my last week. It sounds rather depressing reading about it, so I should add that college life is not all bad! I do enjoy learning (sometimes!) and I have met some awesome classmates from whom I have learned so much. Their diligence and academic achievements constantly push me to keep going and strive for higher goals. (It's hard going from homeschooling with no one in your grade level to classes with so many people who are ridiculously smart....keeps me humble.)

That's it for now! I'll try to post again next week. Possibly.

[Note: I had originally planned to post both papers now, but I've decided to wait until I get grades and comments back. Shouldn't be too long!]

An attempt to excuse my lack of blogishness...

Okay, so lately I have been receiving cryptic messages; messages of indeterminable meaning, such as this one:

[D]ear Jessica,
Please blog[.]
Love,
[name removed to protect the guilty]

However, after a serious study of the aforementioned notes, which included outlining them, finding key words and phrases, looking the larger words up in the dictionary, reading backwards, and reading between the lines, I have come to the conclusion that I need to eat chocolate!! No, wait, that was the first hypothesis. The final conclusion was that I needed to go to www.blogger.com, enter some log in information, and click "Create Post."

So, I did.

Now that I am here, all that I can think of is the necessity of doing a bunch of other things...chiefly, writing the two papers that are due on Friday (note: one of them is nearly done, the other is started). Unlike some people who have the luxury of Thanksgiving break, I have four papers due in the next exactly two weeks.

What does this mean? It means that I will be getting very little sleep, writing and revising, and in my spare time, I will be completing all the other college work (reading textbooks, writing discussion board posts, taking exams, etc). And it means that I can't justify sitting here and writing a post about my life. Sorry! I'd love to write a creative update-ish post. Really, I would. That's something that I will try to do after this semester ends (if it ever does).

On a positive note, it also means that I will have four blog posts in the next couple of weeks...and you know how much you love reading my academic writings! (Hint: nod vigorously)

Prayers are greatly appreciated for my sanity and for clearness and cogency in my writing!

Taking a deep breath...

This is just a quick update to say:

1) I am still alive.
2) I have not forgotten my blog.

The essay that I just posted below is the product of a couple late nights and early mornings. It was crammed in between a bunch of other things, and a good deal of it was written in my hotel room in Cincinnati. So...it is what it is. Not the greatest, but it had to be submitted!

The last couple weeks were absolutely insane, but I'm finally caught up and able to take a breath! I may post later about my life, including the conference in Ohio (or not, you know how I am about blogging), especially if I can find videos or pictures.

And once again, I return to the blogosphere...

Yes, I realize that it has only been 15 days since my last blog post. In case you are worried about my mental health, let me assure you that I do not plan to continue blogging with this alarming frequency. And no, I have not kicked that procrastination habit yet.

(Actually, I have a procrastination pamphlet from my Research and Writing class that states: "This handout will help you understand why you procrastinate and offer strategies and [sic] to combat this common writer's ailment."* I think this pamphlet would be very informative, but I haven't found the time to read it.... Just kidding, I have read it, and it could possibly help someone. Just not a chronic procrastinator like me.)

I do have a reason--a very good reason, in fact--for this blog post. And it's not to complain about my procrastination habits. Not entirely, anyway.

You see, one of my friends told me about a Christian documentary that was released recently. She sent me the link to the movie's site where there is this lovely offer stating that I would get the movie for free if I promised to review it on my "well visited, updated blog." I worried that my blog would not be deemed updated enough, but to my surprise and excitement, it was!! I received it on Saturday, watched it last night with my dad and sister, and will now attempt to write an informative, accurate, interesting, descriptive, and captivating assessment of it for you all.

So, let's dive in....

On second thought, I've decided to place the actual review in a second blog post. This will aid in linking. Plus, anyone who is interested in a review of the movie will not necessarily wish to read all of my ramblings above! Read the review here.

In case it's not apparent, I've revamped a lot of my blog. Feedback appreciated!
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*Source: http://www.unc.edu//depts/wcweb/handouts/procrastination.html (accessed Sept. 21st, 2009)

Hey look! I still remember how to blog!

No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is, indeed and truly, a new blog post!

I am back by popular demand (okay, two people, but they sure are demanding!).

I was planning on having a blog post done over the weekend, but something got in the way. A little something called a Research and Writing assignment, worth 10% of my final grade, due by Sunday at midnight. It took so much more time than I thought it would, and this means that during the time I planned on blogging, I was sweating buckets (figuratively speaking, I assure you) and typing madly while watching the clock tick ever closer to the deadline.

But now I have finished that (not saying how many minutes to spare...), and I am here.

And...I have nothing to say. At least, nothing educational, intellectual, or mind-stimulating.

But because I don't want to let down the poor souls who sit on my blog all day, hitting refresh, I will attempt to write something substantial.

Something substantial...think, Jessica. There must be something to say.

****

And now it is Wednesday night, and I am sitting here watching my cursor blink, realizing that I really need to get this thing posted! Especially because my sister, Erika, decided that an update from me was so unlikely that she took it upon herself to hack in here and give you all brief run-down of my life (see below).

Her summary of my days is unfortunately pretty accurate. College has taken over my life!!!

I have learned that college is more difficult than high school (at least to me) and that I must spend much more time doing it than I had ever imagined. I cannot allow myself to fall behind even one day, because it is so hard to get back on track.

The first week of college was a nightmare; I was overwhelmed. But things are going much better now (Yet again, God's grace was sufficient!), and I am finding my classes to be manageable, interesting, and even sometime humorous.

Before I fall asleep on this keyboard, I should defend myself in regards to the cricket comment. (By the way, thanks, Erika, for not mentioning the watermelons growing on trees thing....) I haven't done biology in quite some time, never really cared about it, and probably would have realized that crickets are not vertebrates if I had simply thought about it before speaking. (Who, me? Think before speaking?!)

Jennifer wanted an update on my life, so I suppose I should mention more than just college. I have started taking piano lessons again (today), and have been learning to play the organ over the summer. I finished working for the Board of Elections (at least on a full time basis) on August 21st, so as to have time for college. The primary election is coming up next Tuesday, and I will be working that. It should be an interesting day. Local politics...never stops, and I try to keep up, going to meetings and volunteering and such. AWANA starts next Monday, and I'll be helping with that. Erika and I would both like to try for the Citation Award (Bible memorization is a good idea in general, plus I can get a nice scholarship from PHC if I get the award), so we are starting on some of the books. How is that for an overview, Jenn? Happy now? :) I'm sure I'm missing stuff, though.

Wow...this post is confusing and sadly lacking on so many levels. Maybe tomorrow I will read it and edit it, but for now...I'm going to hit "Publish Post" and hope that it will suffice.

Hi Everyone!!

Yes!! A new post!! But not by Jessica. After several tries, I have managed to heroically hack into Jessica's blog to give her reader(s) an exciting, heart-warming, awwww-producing update. Basically, I have 15 minutes before she gets back from choir practice, so we'll do this quickly.

1. Jessica has started college.

2. She is currently working on college-related items, such as classes.

3. Her time can basically be summed up in two areas: college, and thinking/talking/writing/dreaming about college.

4. However, she still finds time to keep her social life a couple rungs above "hermit crab" level, so it surprises me how long she has not talked to you. I mean, I just sit down and words pour forth.

5. Maybe she's wanting to post something a above the random, exciting, hart-warming, awwww-producing update that I'm giving.

But, I do want to share with you a funny story about Jessica. So, she and I were talking about crickets this afternoon, as I was sitting at the table doing lesson 11.5 in my math. She was going to run downstairs and look up crickets in the encyclopedia, but she wasn't sure what (besides "cricket") she should look under. She wanted a general, biological classification name, something that would make Mr. ACE Biology dude proud of her. She said (and I am not kidding): "Crickets are vertebrates, right?"

I guess it's been a while since ninth-grade biology...

Okay. That was it. I need to go do chemistry and practice my "Who? Me? Hack into what blog?" look! Catch you all later!


-- Erika, who is Jessica's coolest sister. Undoubtedly.

And life goes on...

...even when I don't blog!

I read a blogging tips article a while back that said it was never right to blog for the sake of blogging, or simply because it had been a while since the last post.

However, I'm going to completely disregard the article and post about anything and everything that seems bloggable.

Why? Because it has been two months since I posted last, and because one of my longsuffering readers (you know who you are!) hinted that I would need to "dust off" this blog before posting anything.

Consider this my attempt to dust. [note the Swiffer in my hand. See? I am trying.]

Ironically, the rest of my life hasn't seemed to collect much dust lately. It's been pretty crazy these past weeks. I graduated from high school last Sunday, and I have one suggestion for any aspiring homeschool graduates: do not procrastinate so badly on school that you end up literally graduating the day of the party. Take it from me, it's not worth the dramatic finish! And the crash the next day is inevitable [sleep may be overrated, but trying not to fall asleep at a work desk is lousy].

Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. Why do I do these things to myself? An astute reader of my blog will remember that I have a problem with procrastination, especially when it comes to math.

And although an intelligent person would have learned from those torturous Algebra-filled weeks, I did not. You see, while most people learn from their mistakes, I tend to repeat mine. Maybe it's because I forget how much it stinks to do 14 lessons of math a day? My memory is patchy at best. (And people do laugh at me when I complain of having senior moments. But they are real, okay?) So, excuse me for one moment....NOTE TO SELF: Stop procrastinating on everything....Alright, I'm back now. We'll see if that works.

I have learned some valuable lessons, though. For instance, I found out that splashing water on your face actually will help keep you awake (the colder the water is, the better).

But on a more serious note, I also learned that even when I am in over my head, God is faithful.

Roughly two weeks before I graduated, I was sitting at my desk with my 20% completed geometry book in front of me, when I realized that, short of a miracle, I would never finish in time. The math lessons were harder than I expected, I was working full time, and I had overbooked myself with some political commitments. Completely overwhelmed, I started to cry, and cried out to God for help. And the instant I did, this verse popped into my head: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) It stopped me dead in my tracks, because I hadn't thought about or read that verse lately, and I could think of no rational explanation for that verse coming to me when it did. It had to have been God. So, I wrote the verse in my notebook, and started Lesson 22.

And God was faithful!

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

-Brian Littrell, "In Christ Alone"

{this song is on my playlist at the bottom of this blog}

Oh happy day!!

"Oh happy day, oh happy day
When Jesus washed my sins away
Oh, happy day, oh, happy day
When my Jesus washed my sins away..."*

Very fittingly, I woke up this morning with this song on my mind. I say fittingly, because today I received a much-anticipated letter from Patrick Henry College. I'm afraid I rather demolished the envelope in the process of opening it, only to read the word "Congratulations!" and become an emotional wreck. (You may have heard the scream.)

This basically means that, after two years of hoping and praying, going through the rather arduous process of applying, and several weeks of suspense, I have been accepted. Praise the Lord!

So, it's a happy day!

What does this mean for this blog? Perhaps less neglect, because I've been told that PHC emphasizes writing, and I will therefore have more material to post!

I hope to blog soon** with two movie reviews.

*The song is on my playlist at the bottom of this blog if anyone cares to hear it.
** soon \'sün\ adv 1. anywhere from two seconds to several years in the future 2. roughly within the length of the Garfield Administration 3. when I start feeling guilty